Total pages in book: 49
Estimated words: 47103 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 236(@200wpm)___ 188(@250wpm)___ 157(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 47103 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 236(@200wpm)___ 188(@250wpm)___ 157(@300wpm)
I should have let it go, but someone who sounded a lot like me spoke up. “What consequences?”
“A baby.” Her eyes welled again. “Cole left for California last week. He got into a PhD program at UCLA and…he wasn’t around much, anyway. His parents aren’t either. We see them every other week, tops. So it’s just me and—”
“Don’t. Please,” I intercepted.
Cassie sniffled but nodded. “Okay. I understand.”
Aaron’s Adam’s apple slid in his throat. “Is he here? With you?”
“No, he’s with my neighbor, Angie. She has the day off.” Cassie covered her face and broke into another sob. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to make this weird. I know how much I hurt you both. I wish things were different, and I wish…I wish he had better.”
“Shh.” Aaron soothed. “Please don’t punish yourself. We’re fine. We’re actually…having a baby through a surrogate.”
She dabbed at the corner of her eyes. “You are? Oh. Wow, that’s great.”
“Thank you. We’re excited,” I replied.
“Overjoyed,” Aaron added. “And we have Murphy now. He’s keeping us busy too.”
We all took the opportunity to stare at the adorable red dog snoozing at my feet, his head propped on my sneakers.
Cassie flashed an authentic grin. “He’s so cute. I’m glad you have him and each other and good luck with your b-baby. I…”
She didn’t finish her sentence, nor did she seem to be in any hurry, but I got the impression she had more to say.
“Was there something else?”
“I…no. I was going to ask if…never mind.” Cassie wiped her nose in a businesslike fashion, tucking her used tissue in her bag.
“What?”
“It’s nothing. I’m happy for you. Really, really happy.” Her smile wobbled, but her tone was unmistakably sincere as she bowed her head and speed-walked toward the parking lot.
We didn’t say a word. We watched Cassie get into the same beat-up old Prius her grandmother had bequeathed to her in her will ten years ago. Or eleven now. When the taillights faded from sight, we headed for our own car in silence and let the quiet linger all the way home.
“What did you make of that?”
“I don’t know, but it felt heavy. Too heavy.” I bounced a tennis ball on the deck, then tossed it across the yard for Murphy. “She’s not doing well.”
“Understatement. She’s miserable.” Aaron gnawed on his lip thoughtfully. “I wonder what’s wrong and—”
“Aar…stop. Hey, I think the apology was nice, but let’s be honest, it also sucked. We cannot be pulled into whatever dysfunction she’s dealing with. We can’t. It’s not healthy or good for us. I know that might sound heartless, but it’s called staying sane. We have our own worries and our own battles to fight. We’re not taking on hers. Especially not now. We’re finally where we want to be with every legal seal of approval in place. The baby Lena is carrying is one thousand percent ours. He or she is our family, and we have to protect our peace.”
He inclined his head in acquiescence. “You’re right. Observation…you’re fierce, Matty. I’m getting major daddy vibes.”
“Very funny.” I tickled his sides and pulled him into my arms.
We swayed, holding each other through what felt like the aftermath of a fierce storm. Dramatic, maybe, but it fit. We’d done our best to put our failed adoption behind us and today had kicked up some rough memories. I couldn’t help thinking it might have been easier if Cassie had seemed to be thriving instead of in over her head and on her way to drowning.
I wasn’t an asshole, nor was I immune. Her angst and sorrow had bled through every word and everything she hadn’t said. She wished she made other choices, but if she had, we might not have Murphy and we certainly wouldn’t be expecting a baby. I had to believe we were on our current path for a reason. And though it was painful, we had to sever that tie to her to grow. It was a somber and sober reckoning.
ten
“Okay, daddies, let’s see what we’ve got here.”
Irene, our ultrasound technician, moved her wand across Lena’s swollen belly, and the blur of dark space took the obvious shape of a real live infant with fingers and toes, closed eyes, and a big head.
“Oh, my…geez, the baby is so much bigger.” Aaron’s reverent tone hitched as he pointed at the monitor.
“Sure is, and he’s growing like a weed!”
“He?”
“Or she,” Irene corrected. “I didn’t peek yet. I promise! My default is boy, but that’s probably because I have three sons. Let me take a few photos. The eighteenth-week ultrasound is important. We call it the anatomy scan ’cause we’re accessing the baby’s growth and checking organ development, like the size of the heart, brain, stomach, spine, and—oh! We’ve got a thumb-sucker. How cute is that?”
I chuckled. “Very cute. So…does everything seem normal?”
Irene hummed as she paused the wand, zeroing in on what I thought might be the baby’s skull. It was a great picture, but she moved quickly so I wasn’t always sure what I was seeing.