Total pages in book: 155
Estimated words: 154379 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 772(@200wpm)___ 618(@250wpm)___ 515(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 154379 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 772(@200wpm)___ 618(@250wpm)___ 515(@300wpm)
She shook her head as she scooped the potatoes she’d diced into a pot. “No dreams are too big, Piper. It’s when you lose sight of them that you get stuck or just plain lost.”
“Or maybe you can still see them hanging out in front of you, but your mistakes are so grave, you’re forever cut off from them, and the only thing they become is temptation.” It tremored off my tongue like a confession.
Sorrow weaved through Nelly, and she set the knife aside and turned to fully look at me. “Is that what you really think? That any of this was your fault?”
Grief tremored through my insides. The loss so severe that my lungs closed off. “You know that it was.”
Her head shook. “No, Piper. You were blinded.”
“I was a fool.”
A heavy stream of air blew from her nose, and she wavered as she carefully chose her words. “You were young and thought you were in love—”
Fear streaked through my being.
Love.
That’s what I was so freaking afraid of.
“I didn’t think I was in love, Nelly. But I was caught up. Caught up in a feeling.”
Her head shook. “You can’t keep blaming yourself.”
How could I not when the consequences were eternal?
“I just…”
She reached out and set her hand on my forearm. “I know you can never forget what happened or ignore what we’re going through, but I want you to answer something honestly. I want you to tell me what it is you really want. If none of those things were a factor.”
I squeezed Finn tighter. The cotton candy scent coming from his hair offered me the barest sense of comfort. I pressed my nose into it as I whispered, “I want a life. I want stability. Safety. A home.”
“And why are you so afraid of chasing after those things?” she pressed.
Hot tears blurred my eyes, and I warred, a ball of sorrow and hope fighting for dominance in my chest. I finally spoke around it. “I’m afraid of being broken all over again. Afraid of repeating every mistake I’ve ever made.”
Afraid of the pain and the loss.
Because the loss would come.
It was inevitable.
“I’m afraid he’ll find us. I keep getting that same sense…” Fear pinched my brow. “Like he’s right there, tracking us.”
Worry held her expression. “Have you…seen something?”
“No. I just…” I breathed out the strain. “I think I’m just being paranoid.”
She shook her head in compassion. “I think it’s the thought of settling down that scares you most. The idea of it when you haven’t known anything else. Maybe the only mistake we made was running in the first place.”
“You know it was the only thing we could do.”
“I know it felt like it at the time, but now…?”
That hope she stirred billowed inside me, butting with the worry of what it might cost.
I hugged Finn tighter, pressing kisses to his temple.
He giggled. “No Mommy kisses.”
“All the Mommy kisses,” I teased as I continued to press my lips to his soft skin, inhaling all that he was.
Maybe…maybe I had been fighting for my son in the wrong way.
Nelly’s brow tightened in emphasis. “I think we knew that day that what we were doing couldn’t last forever. All roads end. Maybe that road we’ve been running has come up to a sharp dead end. Maybe everything new begins here.”
“And what if I lose it all again?” It sounded of a petition.
She reached out and set her hand on my cheek.
Tender.
Supportive.
True.
Affection squeezed my chest.
“I want the world for you, Piper. The world for you and our Finn. I want you to live life to its fullest, and what’s living if you’re doing it in fear? If you’re running from every opportunity and from every chance?”
She shifted and set her hand on the back of Finn’s head. “What kind of life is it if this little man never has a home? How’s he going to go to school? Have friends? Build his own life? It just doesn’t work. Eventually, all secrets are exposed.”
“I guess that’s what I’m afraid of most.”
Discernment filled her soft nod. “I will always support you in every decision you make. I will be right here for both of you for as long as this old body will allow. I just want you to remember that you have a choice.”
I knew what she was suggesting.
Go to the police.
But how could I entertain it after what happened last time?
Then she stepped back, clearly knowing I needed the reprieve. “Now, why don’t you show us what is loaded down in those bags? Looks like you bought the whole store.”
Nelly shuffled back to the cutting board and started slicing carrots.
A soggy laugh rolled out. “I certainly wasn’t responsible for all those bags.”
Curiosity arched her brow. “How’s that?”
I blew out a long sigh. “More of that charming.”
A knowing chuckle rumbled out of her. “That boy has it bad.”