Calamity Rayne Over the Moon Read Online Lydia Michaels

Categories Genre: Alpha Male, Billionaire, Contemporary, Funny Tags Authors:
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Total pages in book: 12
Estimated words: 11501 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 58(@200wpm)___ 46(@250wpm)___ 38(@300wpm)
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“Wink at my wife again and I’ll⁠—”

“I thought you were okay with it.”

“Why the hell would I be okay with another man flirting with my wife?”

“Guess you two don’t swing that way.”

What the… Oh! I placed a calming hand on Hale’s leg. “Honey, I think an upside-down pineapple is code for being a swinger.”

“Smart little cookie you got there, Hale.”

He growled. “Hit on her again and I’ll show you just how hard I swing, understand?”

“Loud and clear.”

This was a nightmare.

“Maybe we should leave,” I whispered.

Hale glanced at me, all of his frustration vanishing. “No. You planned a nice dinner and I plan to enjoy it.” He squeezed my hand. “Do you want some⁠—”

“No.” My stomach lurched.

Unfortunately, things only got worse. The next course was fried frog legs. And for dessert, we had a choice, spaghetti ice cream or chocolate-covered pickles. I chose neither, as did Hale.

The moment we left the restaurant he doubled over in laughter.

“It’s not funny!”

“Oh, Rayne, it’s pretty fucking funny!” He wiped his eyes. “Your expression was priceless when they brought out that pig! And then the frog legs.” He laughed harder than I ever saw him laugh.

“I was trying to do something nice for you!”

“This was unforgettable!”

“This was a disaster, Hale! You just threw down four hundred dollars for an evening with clowns and swingers, and all I had was one sip of a shitty cocktail.”

“Thank you so much for bringing me here. I’m never going to forget this!”

I left him to his hysteria and stomped off to the rental car, closing myself inside so I could sulk. When Hale finally joined me, he was composed. Until he wasn’t.

Losing the battle against the apparent hilarity, he dropped his head onto the steering wheel and cracked up some more, his shoulders bouncing as he howled.

“Jerk,” I said, whacking him with my tiny purse.

“Why am I a jerk?” He wiped the tears from his eyes.

“Because you’re laughing at me.”

“Baby, no. I’m not laughing at you. I’m laughing at us.”

“But it’s not funny! I had eight weeks and every time I tried to do something nice for you it blew up in my face. First the farting scuba gear, then the kitchen fire. And now this!”

He threw his head back and barked out another laugh. “I forgot about the farting wet suit!”

“Hale!”

“Baby, don’t you see? In eight weeks we didn’t have one single fight. We feasted, and drank, and explored, and played. We fucked and had two whole months of fun. I laughed harder than I’ve ever laughed before. Why? Because life’s so much better with you.”

Well, when he put it that way it didn’t sound too bad. “Really? I did that for you?”

“Yes, you!” He pulled me close and kissed me. “You make me happier than I believed possible, Rayne. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“And think of the memories we get to take with us. I never want to forget a single silly thing you do.” He tucked my hair behind my ear. “Don’t you see, baby? You did give me something—something priceless.”

I pressed my forehead to his. “How do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Put a positive spin on a bad situation.”

“Bad? Why? Because dinner was weird? Who cares? Look around, Rayne. We’re in Hawaii. We’ve been to Fiji, Bora Bora, Italy, and Greece. Our hut could have burnt down. My favorite part about this whole trip was spending it with you. That’s all that matters.”

He was right. Richer or poorer, through sickness and health, our love was what mattered most.

I lowered my head and chuckled, laughing at how ridiculous some of our adventures had been. “I nearly died when Norbert said he was a clown.”

“A Minister of Merriment!” Hale barked.

“The Head Honcho-of-Hilarity!” I laughed with him, finally seeing the humor of it all.

We fell to pieces, cracking up until our stomachs cramped. It was the perfect end to a perfect vacation. I never thought about the actual word honeymoon before, but I got it now. I was over the moon for this man. And he was over the moon for me.

THE END


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