Total pages in book: 72
Estimated words: 74005 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 370(@200wpm)___ 296(@250wpm)___ 247(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 74005 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 370(@200wpm)___ 296(@250wpm)___ 247(@300wpm)
My heart cracks.
Hawk is so tall, so strong. And here he is, brought to his knees by the sight of his little brother in such precarious condition.
I don’t know what to say, what to do.
So I simply stand by Hawk’s side.
I hope my presence is comfort to him. But inside I know it isn’t.
Eagle’s chest raises and falls in a steady rhythm. The monotonous beep of the heart monitor is the only sound that breaks the oppressive silence in the room.
Hawk pushes back the unruly curls from Eagle’s forehead.
“Come on, E,” Hawk whispers, his voice choked with emotion. “You’ve got to come back. You can’t leave us like this.” He swallows hard, shaking his head.
This is breaking Hawk. I feel it.
And I hate it.
I kneel next to Hawk and take his other hand. His gaze remains glued to his brother.
I can only imagine the turmoil he’s going through. I squeeze his hand a little tighter, wanting to ground him, to reassure him that he’s not alone in this.
“The doctors say you’ve got a fifty-fifty chance, Eagle. That means you’ve got to fight. Do you hear me?” Hawk’s voice cracks, and he quickly clears his throat. “We’re all here. Your family. We’re not going anywhere.”
He’s silent a moment, his eyes squeezed shut. Until—
“Eagle, listen to me,” Hawk says, opening his eyes. “The family needs you. Mom needs you. I need you.” His voice breaks on the last words, and he takes a deep, shuddering breath.
Then he looks at me. The raw pain in his eyes is almost too much to bear.
I choke back a sob.
Hawk needs my strength now.
I can’t become a blubbering mess.
I rise and rest a hand on Hawk’s shoulder. He flinches at my touch but doesn’t push me away.
“Hawk,” I whisper, “You’re not alone. We’re all here for Eagle. For you.”
He simply shakes his head. “This is on me. All on me.”
“It’s not,” I say gently.
He turns on me then, his blue eyes full of anger, rage. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. Why don’t you just get the hell out of here? I need to be with my brother.”
I blink at his sudden outburst.
He can’t mean that.
Can he?
I’m hurt. Confused. I open my mouth to respond—how, I don’t know—but before I can, he turns away from me with a cold, distant look.
I stand rooted to the spot, my mind reeling. I want to reach out, to comfort him, but the hostility in his gaze stops me. He’s built a wall, and I’m on the outside, looking in.
So I do the only thing I can.
I step back, away from Hawk and his pain. I can’t help if he won’t let me.
“Okay,” I manage to say, my voice barely audible, even to me.
I turn, fighting back the hot torrent of tears threatening to spill from my eyes. I force them back, though, swallowing hard.
This isn’t about me.
I leave the room and close the door behind me with a soft click.
I return to the waiting area.
Star is crying now, holding onto Falcon for dear life.
I walk toward Raven and Vinnie. “Where’s Belinda?” I ask.
“She’s home,” Vinnie says. “Natalie is there.”
I nod and plunk down next to Vinnie. “Good. She hates hospitals.”
“I know,” he says. “Is Hawk okay?”
I’m not sure how to answer that.
So I don’t.
3
HAWK
“Come on, Eagle,” I say for what seems like the hundredth time. “Please. Please.”
I’m answered only by the relentless hum of the machines hooked onto my little brother.
My fault.
My fault.
My fault.
I hear the words from the humming of the machines.
I should have answered the phone. The door.
I should have been there.
And now…
Now Eagle might die.
“Don’t you dare,” I say to him. “Don’t you dare fucking die.”
I close my eyes to pray, to beg, to do anything, but instead, a memory floods my mind.
The last time Eagle relapsed.
The last time I took him to rehab.
He fought me tooth and nail. Even tried to punch me.
A year earlier…
“Fuck off, Hawk,” he says. “You’re not my goddamned keeper.”
Lines of coke still sit on Eagle’s coffee table.
I swipe them off, and they scatter in powdery clouds. “You’re right. I’m not just your keeper. I’m your big brother too.”
“Bullshit.” His eyes are bloodshot. His movements jittery. “Look at you, living your high and mighty life, thinking you can dictate mine.”
“You’re self-destructing, Eagle!” I grab him by the shoulders. “You think you’re invincible. You think this shit can’t touch you. But it can. It is.”
He glares at me, his usually bright eyes dulled by the haze of drugs. “You’re one to talk. Always the shining example, right, Hawk?”
“It’s not about being an example. It’s about saving your life.”
He wrestles out of my grasp, turning away from me. “And what if I don’t want to be saved?”
The question hits me like a punch to the gut. I swallow hard, my resolve wavering.
“Then you’re a fool.” I match his glare with one of my own.