Cluelessly Yours – It’s A Funny Story Read Online Max Monroe

Categories Genre: Alpha Male, Contemporary, Funny Tags Authors:
Advertisement

Total pages in book: 102
Estimated words: 97592 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 488(@200wpm)___ 390(@250wpm)___ 325(@300wpm)
<<<<19101112132131>102
Advertisement


“She…she what?”

“Man, it was good,” Brooke says from behind me, her voice devoid of the agony I heard mere moments ago. Without a second thought, I spin on my heels and thump her on the forehead with a flick of my index finger.

“Ow!” she yells, and Seth laughs immediately, each peal rife with the hysteria only a seven-year-old can pull off. Brooke, however, is aghast, rubbing at her forehead furiously. “What was that for?”

“For scaring me! I thought you were on your deathbed!”

Brooke groans. “Oh jeez.”

“Oh jeez? Oh jeez! I was beside myself!”

“Mom, what’s this do?” Seth asks, tugging at one of the wires plugged in behind Brooke’s bed.

“Don’t touch that!” Brooke and I yell in unison, and he jumps back like we’ve shot him in the hand before twirling so fast he bumps into the wall.

Brooke sucks her lips into her mouth and then turns to me with wide eyes. “You ought-bray the iminal-cray to the hospital with you?”

I grit my teeth. “I had to. The anny-nay is at home with ant-Gray uking-pay all over everything I own.”

Brooke scrunches her nose and gags. “Ugh. Gross.”

“How about I take Seth with me for a little while?” Noah interjects, stepping up beside me. “Show him around the hospital? Sneak some snacks from the lounge?”

“Yeah!” Seth yells excitedly. Which, considering his little ass’s penchant for trouble, shrivels the very soul inside me. Dear God, I pray for the safety of those within these walls.

“Are you sure? I don’t know if that’s such a good idea…”

Noah waves me off. “No worries, Sam. We’ll be fine.”

“Can I, Mom? Can I? Can I?” Seth begs excitedly. I consider him for a long moment. It would be good to get a chance to talk to Brooke alone, but with my child, a hospital is one giant disaster waiting to happen. And I definitely don’t have the money lying around to pay several doctors, patients, and visitors restitution. “I promise I’ll be good, Mom! I promise!”

I point at Seth sternly. “You better be on your best behavior.”

“Yes!” Seth cheers, jumping up and doing a spin, and even going so far as to high-five Noah.

I close my eyes briefly, only to open them at the feel of Noah’s hand on the small of my back. It’s so freaking warm and comforting. I don’t know if he keeps a space heater in that thing or what the deal is. “It’ll be fine, Sam. I promise. Just text me when you’re ready to find us.”

A few seconds later, before I’ve even given confirmation of permission, my little troublemaker and Noah are out the door together, destination unknown.

“Are you sure you don’t want to date him?” Brooke asks straightaway. “That hug between the two of you looked mighty cozy…” My head swivels faster than the girl in The Exorcist.

“Brooke!”

“What? I’m just saying. He’s hot. He’s smart. He’s successful. He’s thoughtful. And the fact that he’s not afraid of your eldest son should be enough to earn him a little heavy petting, you know?” She jerks her head toward my special place without shame. “The old coo-coo-cachoo could use a touch or two.”

My head falls back on an exhale. “Do we really have to go through this right now?”

“Of course we do!” Brooke affirms. “Because if not now, when? I mean, let’s be real, Sammy. You’re into each other. And don’t give me some bullshit excuse that you’re not because I see the way your face turns red when he touches you.”

“Into each other? Ha.” I suppress a laugh. “I think you’re seeing things, Ms. Romance Writer. He’s never even asked me out.”

“Well, no freaking kidding, Sam!” She slaps both of her palms down onto the bed hard enough to startle Benji’s eyes to open for a brief moment, but as soon as he takes stock of the normal drama, he drifts back to sleep. “You’re about as open to that kind of invitation as I am to a quick trip on an airplane.”

The last time Brooke was on a plane, they had to make an emergency landing in Buffalo because of her. Thanks to a twenty-thousand-dollar medical bill, she still can’t stand the sight of the friendly skies.

“Look at my life,” I counter on a sigh. “You think I have time to be seductive and sexy? To worry about getting myself ready and flirting and showing avid interest in someone else’s life? I’m barely afloat, Brookie. I don’t have the energy for sex on top of it. Falling into bed at night to go to sleep is the only escape I have.”

“But you could be on the bottom.”

“Brooke!”

I pointedly avoid telling her about the Gavin situation that occurred on my way here. I can’t decide if that would fuel her constant push to get me to date Noah or make her mad that someone who isn’t Noah asked me out. Either way, I’d never hear the end of it.



<<<<19101112132131>102

Advertisement