Total pages in book: 78
Estimated words: 77106 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 386(@200wpm)___ 308(@250wpm)___ 257(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 77106 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 386(@200wpm)___ 308(@250wpm)___ 257(@300wpm)
“Hey, Brooke,” I said, looking down at the pool.
“Keep an ear for my goblins for a minute? Just gotta pop down to toss this in the dumpster,” she said, lifting her trash bag.
“I can take it down,” I offered.
I knew what was coming when she set the bag down.
Her flip-flops slapped the cement as she walked over to me.
“Okay. Spill.”
“Nothing to spill.”
“Riiight. Because it’s every day a man takes care of a sick woman and her baby. And buys them lots of presents. Hell, the father of my children doesn’t even do half of that.”
“You deserve better than that,” I said, glancing over at her.
“I know it,” she agreed. “But we’re not talking about me. Why are you out here looking like someone kicked your puppy?”
“Dunno what you’re talking about.”
“Oh, I know a hangdog look when I see one. What happened? You muck it up with Zoe?”
“There is no anything with me and Zoe.”
“You men,” Brooke said, sighing as she leaned back against the railing. “Always thinking you’re making the right decision for everybody. While fucking everything right up. God, it felt good to say that.”
“Fucking?” I asked, smirking at her.
“You really start to realize how many swear words you’re using when you have to stop and spell them out all the time. These kids really put a crimp in my style when it comes to cussing. Anyway. What is this? You’re not good enough for her?”
“I’m not.”
“You know what I think?” she asked.
“What’s that?”
“That it’s her decision. And you’re out here thinking you’re being all noble and shit. When what you’re really doing is being a giant ass.”
“Thanks, Brooke.”
“I’m gonna call it like I see it. You like that girl in there. And her little girl. And you’re a good man. You’re everything a single, overworked, overwhelmed, lonely mama wants. Yet you’re gonna walk away. Typical. Just typical.” She stormed back off toward her door. “And don’t forget the trash.”
With a sigh, I moved down the balcony, grabbed the bag of garbage, and headed to the stairs.
I got what Brooke was saying. Really, I did. Zoe deserved a man to lighten the load, to love her and Lainey. But that wasn’t me. I was nothing but trouble. She needed a good, stable kind of guy. Whether she liked that or not.
I was making the best decision for her.
I threw the trash and made my way back to the lot, clocking a car parked down at the edge—engine running, heavy tint.
I felt the hair on the back of my neck go up, but brushed the concern away. This was a busy motel. People came and went all the time. There was no reason to get suspicious about a car in the lot.
I climbed on my bike, but sat there for a minute, pep-talking myself to go, to drive off, to leave Zoe and Lil’ Bit alone. They had enough on their plate. They didn’t me and my dirty hands and my fucked-up past.
With that in mind, I started the engine and pulled out of the lot.
Then went ahead and ignored the way each mile I drove away from the motel made the tight feeling in my chest intensify until it felt damn near ready to snap as I drove into the lot of the clubhouse.
“Didn’t expect you back tonight,” Caymen said as I walked around the back of the house to find a party already in full swing.
“Didn’t expect to be back,” I admitted, accepting the beer he handed to me.
“Wanna talk about it?”
“No.”
“We can drink about it then,” he said, clinking his can to mine before taking a long swig.
“Your brother seems to be fitting right in,” I said as he spun a group of women around on a big tube as they squealed.
“This is right up his alley.”
“Not yours?”
“I don’t mind a good time, but that was never the motivation for joining up. We needed the stability. You?”
“I wanted the partying and the action.”
“Because if you slow down too long, all that old shit you’re running away from catches up to you?”
“You’re not supposed to be the head-shrinker here,” I told him.
“Just an observation. From a kindred spirit, you could say.” He paused, watching his brother grab a girl and throw her over his shoulder as he made his way to the pool steps. “Shouldered it all so he didn’t have to.”
“I get that,” I admitted. “More than you can know.” And that was as close to telling anyone about my past as I’d ever gotten.
“You avoiding her because you don’t want anything serious? Or because you’re worried that you might?”
“Who the fuck knows?” I asked. “Eddie here?” I’d worked up an appetite.
“Been cooking nonstop. Says he feels guilty that he missed a few days.”
“Gonna go stuff my face,” I said, excusing myself into the clubhouse before anyone else noticed that I was still off.