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I’m naked, touching myself, and thinking about you…
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It still feels strange to walk around alone, after all those years with Mitch around. He’d been a rock in her life. A constant. And now, without him, it all seemed strange.
It was worse where she was going now, though. Everything seemed to be coming down around her, and there was absolutely nothing that she could do about it by herself.
So she did what she was always supposed to do. Even Mitch, who never had a problem he didn’t think he could solve for himself, wouldn’t disagree with going to the cops.
Not when Ava went missing.
He’d say, go on, get out there, girl. You better not let anything happen to her. And Anna wasn’t going to let anything happen to her, not if there was anything she could do about it.
So even though he didn’t want to hear from her, in a weird kind of way, it was Mitchell’s idea to go. And even though she didn’t want to go by herself, didn’t want to go out without him there to make sure it’s all gonna end up alright, she went.
It took a long time to get the attention of the guy behind the desk. Maybe if she’d said something, but she didn’t. He was cross-referencing some paperwork and typing it all into a computer. Finally the guy, dark blue uniform that borders on black, looks up.
He’s got a clean-cut look, like he might be the poster boy for cops. “Yes ma’am; can I help you?”
Anna smiles as best as she can. Her voice sounds weird coming out of her own mouth, but she can’t let that get to her. “I need to speak to a policeman.”
He straightens a little bit. “Of course. What’s the problem?”
“My daughter’s missing.”
Anna doesn’t know how to be sure that he’s not just faking interest, but he at least pretends that comment makes a big difference.
“How old is your daughter, ma’am?”
Anna’s skin crawls. How’s she supposed to talk about it? It’s all so embarrassing. She lost Ava. It must have been her fault. Babies don’t just walk off.
“Um, ten weeks?”
Her hand tightens and loosens up. If Mitch were here, this would have all been so much easier. He’d have handled it for her. He’d have gotten it all taken care of. How was she going to tell him that she’d lost his daughter?
The man behind the desk lets the comforting look slip off of his face for a moment. Anna knows what that means, it’s time for things to get worse again. He holds up a finger for her to wait, and picks up a phone.
Anna doesn’t listen to his conversation. She knows how rude it would be. Mitch used to hate it when she eavesdropped on his conversations. So she’d learned to tune it out.
He sets the phone down in its cradle, and Emma is back to listening to him. Like she turned the tape recorder back on.
“Ma’am, I just need you to wait a moment? We’ll have a Detective out to talk to you in just a few minutes, okay?”
Anna knows how to wait. She’s good at that. “Of course.”
She steps away to a nearby pair of large tables and stands there, and waits. It’s not any easier than anything else that she’s had to do today. She’d kind of assumed that there would be a whole lot of craziness going on. That everything in her life would go crazy.
But the truth was, with Mitchell gone, everything was pretty crazy already, so… that wouldn’t have been much of a change.
Anna stares out the window. It’s better not to pry into whatever is going on behind the desk. They’ll get to her when they’re ready, and until then it’s rude and presumptuous to stare.
Which is why she doesn’t see him walking up. She doesn’t really connect the sound of the shoes tapping on the floor with being something she should worry about. So the first thing that alerted her that she should turn around was a man’s voice.
“Excuse me, ma’am?” His voice was low and soft, and a little bit gravelly, like a movie star’s.
Anna turned around slowly. There were things she wasn’t very good at, and then there were things she knew how to do. She wasn’t so good at being in situations like this on her own.
Turning around without rushing, without looking hurried or panicked, those were things she was good at. It would have been real embarrassing for Mitch if she couldn’t keep her control at dinners.
She gives the man a smile. He’s wearing a shirt and tie, no jacket. The tie is striped, blue and yellow. Anna liked blue a lot. This was a good shade of blue, and it brought out the color of his eyes.
He was attractive, a wide-set jaw with dark features that made his eyes look a little bit daunting.