Total pages in book: 138
Estimated words: 126823 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 634(@200wpm)___ 507(@250wpm)___ 423(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 126823 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 634(@200wpm)___ 507(@250wpm)___ 423(@300wpm)
She dragged herself up to her bed and sat on the edge, rocking herself back and forth. She had to make it all stop. Her face was wet, and she continually wiped at it with shaking hands. “You have to go outside, boys,” she whispered. “I can’t have you in here.”
She couldn’t have them in the house with her. She had no idea what she was going to do. She didn’t trust her judgment. The dogs crowded around, and she scratched, patted and petted them, all the while crying silent tears. So many tears running down her face.
She had no idea how much time passed but she managed to force her stiff, painful body up. She was impossibly weak. She didn’t think she would make it to the front door, so she let the dogs into the garden through the side door and relocked it before going back to her bedroom.
Her favorite pistol was where she kept it at night, under her pillow. Once more she slid down to the floor, drawing up her knees, making herself as small as possible. Placing the gun beside her left thigh, she pulled out her cell phone. She had to get it over with. She had to call Rainier. Once she’d warned him, she could try to clear her mind enough to think straight.
Shabina knew she shouldn’t punch the number into her private cell, not when she was this far gone, because he might know. She was completely falling apart, but she had to warn him.
Rainier knew her better than anyone else. She had never called him before. It would be so unlike her. And she intended to thank him for everything he’d done for her. And give him his life back. He deserved that. She just had to find a way to sound completely composed for a few minutes while she spoke with him.
This wasn’t a government number. She wouldn’t be calling in an army. No one else would know or hear their conversation. She needed help, and the only person who could help her was at the other end of that line, and she couldn’t ask him to come. There would be no one later to listen to a recording and analyze her voice.
Shaking, chin on her knees, she waited for him to answer. It took less than three seconds.
“Are you safe?”
On the heels of Rainier Ashcroft’s demand came a distinctive feminine laugh. “He’s occupied, honey. Call back later.”
Shabina pressed her fingers over her mouth to shove back the sobs threatening to escape and froze like a little mouse. Not again. She was always ruining Rainier’s life. It was never going to end.
He was with someone. A woman. Unlike her, he had a life. He deserved to have a life. She thought she’d taken that from him. Ruined everything for him. Now it was happening all over again. How stupid to think he wasn’t living with a woman. Why hadn’t she considered that? It was what she’d always wanted for him, so why did it hurt so bad? Why did she feel absolutely shattered?
Rainier swore, the words ugly and merciless, so like him. The woman shrieked. “What are you doing? I don’t have my clothes. You can’t throw me out naked. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
“You’re lucky I don’t cut your throat. Get out and don’t ever let me see you again.”
That was very distinctive and so like Rainier. He was on the move. Shabina could tell. She broke the connection between them and hugged her knees tighter, rocking back and forth. She had no one. No one. She was slowly losing her mind. There was nowhere to go. She would never find her way out of this minefield alone. She’d tried everything she could think of on her own. She was so tired of being alone.
Her cell announced a text. She lifted the phone, knowing if she didn’t answer, all hell would break loose, but she didn’t know if she could speak to Rainier and convince him she was perfectly fine. She could barely breathe as she read his text.
You fucking better answer and code in or I’ll be sending every branch of the service and special units your way in ten seconds.
The phone buzzed. She took a deep breath and did her best to sound normal. “Rainier, it’s your private cell, not the panic cell. Stop being dramatic. I’m fine.”
“Code, damn it.” A door slammed. He was already moving. She heard him murmuring orders into another phone.
She had to take another deep breath to keep a sob from escaping. “Sandstorms cover secrets.” Whatever orders he was giving, she hoped he rescinded quickly.
“Are you alone?”
“Rainier.” She couldn’t say anything else. Of course, she was alone. She was always alone. She pressed the phone to her forehead, trying to think of a way not to sound pitiful. “I have to end the call. I’m fine now. I just had a bad moment.”