Total pages in book: 72
Estimated words: 66651 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 333(@200wpm)___ 267(@250wpm)___ 222(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 66651 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 333(@200wpm)___ 267(@250wpm)___ 222(@300wpm)
“She’s as close to a wife as I’ll ever have.” I didn’t even know how true the words were until I spoke them.
“Until you kill her.” Vince says the words just as Catherine walks into the doorway. Her mouth parts and her eyes widen as she looks between us.
“Fuck you,” I say with disdain at Vince and quickly go to her. I take Catherine by the hand and brush past my brother as he walks into the doorway.
“Whoa,” he says with shock. “You guys alright?”
“We’re leaving,” I answer with my back to him and drag her out of the house with everyone staring at us.
As the door slams shut behind us, I look at my girl, but I know she’s not okay.
My heart hammers with a fear I’ve never felt before. Although I’m gripping onto her like my life depends on it, she’s already gone. I’ve lost her.
26
Catherine
I sure as fuck wasn’t expecting this to be so...comfortable and normal. I’m usually a bit awkward with people—and I still am today, don't get me wrong—but I don't feel the nervous energy I thought I would. I'm able to relax somewhat and just be my usual awkward self. At least around the women.
“So, do you want to be a writer?” Elle asks me. She’s Vince’s wife. Her voice is soft like you’d think it would be after taking one look at her since she’s sweet and petite. Vince isn’t. He looks scary as fuck. All the men are intimidating. I’m super fucking happy to be in a room with just the girls.
Being around the men is different. I felt like a sheep brought to the slaughter. I couldn't stop trying to determine which position in the mafia each man had. I couldn’t even breathe for the first few minutes. So many fucking flashbacks made me feel like I was drowning. But this is nothing like what I experienced with the Cassanos.
Lorenzo would start talking about things with the other members of his familia anywhere and then look at me like I shouldn’t have been there. Like it was my fault. It happened a few times, and then they started doing it on purpose and blocking me from leaving. They liked scaring me and taunting me by calling me the meek mouse. I never felt safe, and they said that was a good thing. Lorenzo said it was good to be afraid. And I was. They made damn sure to keep me afraid.
I stayed with Lorenzo far too long because of that fear and then...well, by the time I had the courage to leave, that’s when I actually saw shit. Shit that changed my life forever. I shake my head and try to forget. I don’t want to go there in that headspace. Not now.
It’s not like that here though with the Valettis. Everything is light-hearted. It took me a while to even want to eat, but when I did it seemed to help. I just kept something at my mouth the entire night hoping no one would talk to me. It’s odd how I still felt included in conversations even though I only really ever smiled and nodded. It felt nice though. It’s been a long time since I’ve even talked to anyone. I’ve been too afraid. Back when I was in hiding, I had the ridiculous idea that the very first person I talked to would somehow know the Cassanos and they would tell them where I was.
But that doesn’t matter anymore. I have Anthony now. I’ve never felt safer in my entire life than I do tonight. It’s the first time I’ve felt like I could fit in, like I could have a family again. And I want it. I haven’t wanted for anything in so long. But I want this.
The kids are all in bed now and the men are in the dining room. Anthony left me alone with the wives. I start to answer Elle’s question but hear a crash of toys from the living room. His aunt, Linda I think, is straightening everything up. I feel weird sitting here not helping. Even though it’s not my mess.
“Should we--” I start to ask.
“No,” Becca answers before I can finish. She’s a bit older than me and she’s a no-nonsense kind of person. “Trust me,” she places a hand on my forearm, “she will not let you help.”
“Okay.” I draw out the word and the girls all laugh. It forces a smile from me. I can’t help it. I feel included. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt that. My mom was everyone to me. She was my best friend. When she died, I had no one else. It feels good to feel like I belong here. Even though I don’t.
“So do you want to write? Or do you just do the columns and blog thing?” Elle asks again and I know she’s genuinely interested. She's been asking me questions ever since Anthony told them that I work in romance literature. I literally laughed when he said it like that. Romance literature. I love smut. That’s my genre. Smutty smut smut. I shut the fuck up real quick when he gave me that look though. I’m still a little worried about that look. It could be a good thing though.