Total pages in book: 50
Estimated words: 46500 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 233(@200wpm)___ 186(@250wpm)___ 155(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 46500 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 233(@200wpm)___ 186(@250wpm)___ 155(@300wpm)
“So, you grew up without a mom,” I said quietly. More and more pieces of this fucking complicated ass puzzle began to fall in place.
Joey nodded. “We did,” he looked over at me, “but that’s not why Jessie is freaking the fuck out, brother.”
I stayed silent, waiting on him to elaborate. Joey clenched his jaw before he forced it to relax again so he could continue speaking.
“Ink, she’s at risk of postpartum psychosis as well.”
Fuck.
I thrust my hands through my hair again. “I asked her if she wants an abortion—fuck, I even asked her about adoption, Joey.”
Joey shook his head. “Jessie won’t run from her shit, Ink.”
I clenched my jaw. “I’m not asking her to run from her shit, Joey,” I snapped at him, but it wasn’t him I was angry at. Hell, I wasn’t even sure I was angry. I was just confused; I didn’t know what to do. “I’m trying to fucking save her.”
Joey sighed. “We can’t save everyone, and with it being her body, we can’t force her to save herself either.”
I swallowed thickly. “I know,” I said quietly. “I know that, and I fucking hate it. I just want her to be okay again. She’s all that fucking matters to me, Joey.”
Joey circled his hand over my wrist when I dropped my hands to the table in defeat. He gently shook my arm. “We will do whatever we fucking can for her,” he promised me. “This entire club loves Jessie. She’s one of us, Ink, and she’s my goddamn sister. We’ll do our best to save her.”
I felt helpless, and I didn’t fucking like it.
“Is there anything we can do after the baby is born to help prevent this shit from happening?” I asked him. I was desperate. I had to be able to do something. I refused to lose Jessie.
Joey shrugged, releasing my wrist. “I don’t know. Dad tried with Mom. He tried being the one to take care of us, letting her do whatever she wanted when she felt comfortable. He did everything he could to keep her stabilized, but just the sound of us could sometimes set her off.”
I swallowed thickly. “Any signs to prepare us?” I asked him, my voice low.
Joey sighed. “It starts as postpartum depression,” he told me. “No interest in the baby. Lots of frustration. You’ll notice the changes,” he assured me.
I sighed. “But nothing short of completely removing the baby will stop it,” I muttered.
Joey nodded. “Basically.”
I clenched my jaw, staying silent. I hated this shit. I hated that I had done this to Jessie, and now, she wouldn’t choose the option to save herself.
She’d rather destroy every bit of progress she’d made thus far.
“Why would she choose this baby?” I wondered out loud.
Joey sighed. “Maybe she already loves it, brother, and she can’t bring herself to do anything to harm it or get rid of it.”
I dragged my hands down my face. “I hate this shit.” And it took every bit of my restraint not to hate this baby, too.
Joey stayed silent, but I knew he agreed with me. He hated this shit for his sister, too.
And all the blame was on me.
Jessie didn’t leave bed all day. I stayed with her, holding her as she slept off and on. She didn’t say much, but I got her to eat food and drink water without a fight.
She was still trying to please me, and I’d milk that shit for as long as I could because I at least needed her to be physically healthy while I tried to figure out a way to save her mental and emotional health.
I glanced at the clock on my nightstand. It was ten at night, and I couldn’t sleep worth a fuck. I had too much energy running through me, and I had too much shit on my mind.
Carefully, I slid from the bed and changed into a pair of gym shorts and tugged on my sneakers before I walked out of the room, heading for the gym. If I couldn’t get rid of this shit on my mind, I could at least burn off all this energy until I was too fucking tired to think about it anymore.
I was lifting weights when Alejandro walked into the room holding Antonio on his hip. The little boy was the spitting image of his father with the same olive skin, dark hair, and dark eyes.
There was no way in hell Alejandro could ever claim that kid wasn’t his.
“Surprised you’re here,” I grunted as I set the weights down and used my towel to wipe some sweat off my face.
“Heard you banging around in here. Wanted to run something by you.”
I arched an eyebrow at him. “Well, run it by me, then.”
Alejandro grunted, a look of annoyance passing over his face. I smirked. “I’ve got a job I think you’ll be interested in.” I stayed silent when he paused. “I need you to do surveillance for me. You’ll have a team of my men under you, but you’re damn good at surveillance, Ink. This isn’t a dangerous thing, but I need the best fucking eyes on this that I can.”