Total pages in book: 58
Estimated words: 55627 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 278(@200wpm)___ 223(@250wpm)___ 185(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 55627 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 278(@200wpm)___ 223(@250wpm)___ 185(@300wpm)
“Damn it.” Gray squeezed his eyes shut, dropped his bag, and rubbed his palms over his face. “We’re in our mid-forties and we’ve been friends nearly half of our lives. This shouldn’t be so hard.”
Gray sounded angry. He was never angry. “I’m sorry,” Jack said reflexively.
“Jack,” Gray said on a sigh. He opened his eyes. “What are you apologizing for?”
“For making this hard.” Not that he completely understood what this was. “For making you mad.”
“I’m not mad, I’m frustrated. And it’s not with you, it’s with…this situation.”
“I’m sorry for creating this situation.” Jack was sufficiently self-aware to recognize Gray was behaving like a typical adult and his own reactions were, as Gray implied, immature.
“Please stop apologizing to me.” Gray reached his hand up and caressed Jack’s cheek. “You’re not responsible for this situation.”
“I know I’m being weird, Gray,” Jack whispered. His own frustration rising, Jack looked up at the ceiling, hoping to keep away the tears he could feel welling in his eyes. “I think maybe the relationship part of me is broken and I’m destined to be alone.” His heart ached with that confession.
“No, you’re not.”
Lowering his gaze to meet Gray’s, Jack continued speaking. “I was twenty-four when I met Jaime. I thought I was grown, but I was behind in a lot of ways socially. We became adults together. Coming out. Finishing school. Moving across the country. Figuring out what we wanted to do professionally. Building a company. Making new friends. Renting our first apartment. Buying our first house.” He shook his head. “Looking back, I realize I should have let him go early on, but I didn’t.” Jack swallowed down his regret. “Everyone loves Jaime. He’s the quintessential good man. Love takes patience and effort, so I reminded myself to be grateful he was with me, and I tried harder. We went through all the steps of building a life together. And now…” He pressed his hand to his chest, trying to rub away the pain of dreams unfulfilled. “Now I’m twenty years older and my life is established, but I’m alone and it's too late for me to recreate the Notebook.”
“Nope,” Gray said, popping the p in a way that made him sound like the angsty teenager Jack had been channeling.
“What do you mean nope?” Jack sniffled and chuckled at the same time, sad about his failings while also amused by Gray. “You can’t nope that.” He rubbed the back of his hand over his eyes, wiping away the wetness.
“I absolutely can nope that, which is why I did nope it.” Gray grinned. “Watch, I’ll do it again.” He paused and then with emphasis, said, “Nope.”
Chapter 7
“So…” Gray caressed Jack’s cheek. “Now that we have that debate out of the way, where do you want me to put my bag?”
“I…” Jack’s voice broke, like his body wouldn’t let him finish his answer. He took a breath, opened his mouth as if to speak, and then sighed instead.
Gray didn’t struggle with confidence, which was why he never hesitated to pick up men and probably at least partially why he nearly always succeeded. But Jack wasn’t a guy he was hitting on at a bar or matching with on an app, so unlike those situations, their goals weren’t already obvious and aligned. He was in this for the long haul, always had been, but he wasn’t going to steamroll Jack to get there.
“How about I put my cards on the table?” Again. “I’d love to be with you tonight but only if that’s what you want. If it’s not, that’s cool too.” He searched Jack’s face and didn’t like what he saw. “Why are you scared?” he asked, voice low.
“I’m not scared.” Jack wiped the back of his hand across his eyes again.
Gray raised his eyebrows. “Try again. And this time, remember who you’re talking to.”
“Damn it.” Jack sniffled, rubbed his nose, and then chuckled. “It’s impossible to act unbothered with a hot guy you’re trying to land when said hot guy already knows you’re an anxiety-filled nerd with no game.”
“The good news is this hot guy likes anxiety-filled nerds. I’m not looking for unbothered. And most critically; you already landed me.” Gray cupped Jack’s cheeks and met his gaze. “The Notebook—a movie I never saw, by the way—lied to you.”
“If you never saw it, how do you know it lied?
“Well, if it has you thinking that it’s too late for romance when you’ve got half of your life ahead of you, that means it lied.”
“There you go again, telling me things are half full when I’m focused on the half that’s empty.”
“That’s right.” Gray grinned. “And since I’m on a roll with my always brilliant insights, I’ll keep going. Yes, you’ve built a great life. You have amazing friends, a gorgeous house, a blooming business. Now it’s time for fun.”