Total pages in book: 89
Estimated words: 87439 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 437(@200wpm)___ 350(@250wpm)___ 291(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87439 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 437(@200wpm)___ 350(@250wpm)___ 291(@300wpm)
There it is!
ME: Do I ever…
*
I throw on a shirt, checking myself in the mirror in the en suite bathroom of my room. Most of the rooms in our house don’t have one, but being a senior and the president, I have priority for the perk.
I study my arms. I’m filling this polo out nicely.
I tell myself I’m being my usual vain self, but I know I secretly hope Lance will think I’m looking good. That this will make Lance eager to sneak off with me for more trouble.
I grab my phone off the counter and notice it’s pulled a Memory from photos, which immediately makes me tense up.
I’m tempted to leave it. No reason to dredge anything up tonight. But it’s been three years. I can handle whatever’s in here.
I click on it.
I’m used to seeing the old pics of Grant and me. Going on fishing trips. To Six Flags. Universal Studios. Go-carts. Sometimes it’s pleasant to reflect on the good times. But this picture isn’t from those days. It’s Grant sitting on the couch, looking pale as hell, his gaze not meeting the camera as I hook my arm around him and smile.
My chest tightens, and I press my palm against it. I quickly close out of the Memory, but the floodgates have opened and the memories are back, a montage of everything from the disorientation and confusion to the fall…to steadily losing more and more of him each day. I fight back the tears as I instinctively start to pull up Mom’s number, but I stop myself.
No. I can’t do this to her. I refuse to do this to her. I must deal with this shit on my own.
It’ll pass. It always passes.
I tuck my phone in my pocket, telling myself I just need to get out there and live my life. That’s what Grant would have wanted.
But fuck, it hurts like hell.
11
Lance
“Okay, Ash,” I say as I knock on his door. “Come on. Get off the phone with your boyfriend and let’s get to the party.”
Ash opens his door in his underwear, a cute pair of red trunks. “About that…”
Behind him, Colin plops down on the bed, shirtless, waving.
“What? I thought you weren’t gonna get here until later tonight,” I say.
“I finished with my work early, so…here I am.”
“Sorry,” Ash says. “He surprised me. And then we got a little dickstracted.”
“Sounds like you won’t be rushing off to the party, so I’ll head on, and if you two can manage to pry away from each other at some point, how about you come meet us at Omega Psi.”
“Thank you for understanding,” Colin says. “It’s not easy not getting to spend every night with my man.”
“I understand that. I mean, not about spending them with a man, but with someone you’re with romantically.”
Their expressions twist up similarly, in that way couples do sometimes because they’ve been together so long, although these guys were like that even before, which I guess came with the stepbrother territory.
I blush. “I should have stopped after saying I understood.”
“You really should have,” Ash teases.
“Okay. I’m gonna go party. You guys enjoy…whatever you were in the middle of.”
“Thank you, Prez,” Colin says.
“I’ll see you in a bit,” Ash adds before closing the door, I’m sure to get back as fast as he can to fucking around with his man.
Normally, I wouldn’t be in such a hurry to get over to Omega Psi, would tell the guys to finish up and walk over with me, but tonight I obviously have more on my mind than just having a good time with my buddies.
I want to see Ty.
After messing around on Tuesday, I was so in my head the rest of the week, wondering if maybe Ty was gonna hit it and quit it when I really didn’t want him to quit it. What we did has awakened something in me, this curiosity I never considered might be lingering inside me. I keep imagining how tragic it would have been if he’d let me walk out the door that day. Not getting to feel his hot breath against my flesh, his grip around my shaft. I was relieved when we saw each other at Junkie’s once he assured me he wanted to see me again too.
When I get to the party, I find Ty playing beer pong with some of the guys on the back porch, and as soon as his team claims victory, his gaze travels around, as though he’s looking for someone. When his gaze settles on me, a smirk plays across his lips.
And now I’m smiling too.
He grabs a guy near him and pulls him into the game before slipping away. Taking a Solo cup off the table, he approaches. “Well, well, well…Alpha Theta Mu’s president, in the flesh. Well, maybe not as much flesh as I’d like to see, but still…”