Holding You Read online J.L. Beck, Cassandra Hallman (Blackthorn Elite Spinoff #1)

Categories Genre: Romance Tags Authors: , Series: Blackthorn Elite Spinoff Series by J.L. Beck
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Total pages in book: 18
Estimated words: 16561 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 83(@200wpm)___ 66(@250wpm)___ 55(@300wpm)
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“That was amazing… you’re amazing,” he murmurs against my skin, making me feel even worse. Yes, it was amazing, but now guilt is starting to set in. This would be so much easier if he’d tossed me to the side after sex.

Which is what I kind of thought he would do. I thought he would just try to get in my pants, and once he got what he wanted, he would give me the cold shoulder again. It would make all of this so much easier, but… I was wrong.

Sex with him wasn’t anything like I expected it to be. I’ve only had one other sexual encounter, which is the one that left me pregnant. But my first time was anything but romantic or passionate. Not like what I’ve just experienced with Carter. There are no real words to describe the way I felt as I fell apart in his arms.

“You okay?” he asks, concern lacing his words, only reminding me further about how wrong this is. I can’t do this. I can’t use him. Before, maybe I could’ve, but now, no way. I’ll need to find another way to escape my father because using Carter isn’t an option.

“Yes, I just… I didn’t expect it to feel like this,” I admit shamefully.

“Like what?”

“So nice… so intimate.”

“What did you expect?” He sounds genuinely surprised.

“Honestly? I figured you were just trying to get your dick wet and would probably throw me out as soon as we were done.”

His body stiffens behind mine, and the next thing I know, he’s turning me in his hold, stopping only once I face him.

“Daisy, I would never do that to you. I’ve wanted you for a long time… and now that I have you, all I want is to have you again and again.” His confession shocks the hell out of me. He can’t really mean that. All I can think about is the past, how he never stuck up for me, how he never really wanted me then.

“You don’t mean that.”

“I absolutely do. I want you, and I want to know everything about you. Everything I don’t know yet. For starters, I want you to tell me what’s going on with your father, and if I can help you in any way.”

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t.” He pins me with a dark look. “I’m not stupid. Something is going on. Why are you scared of your father, and why are you so different now? Did something happen to you when you were younger? Talk to me, please...”

For a long moment, I consider telling him everything. Telling him about the drugs, about my father controlling me, about my suspicions of my dad drugging my mother. Everything is on the tip of my tongue, leaving a bad taste behind, but I can’t bring myself to let all the secrets out.

Before I can stop the emotions from showing, big fat tears slip from my eyes and roll down my cheeks, leaving wet, cool tracks on my still heated skin. I close my eyes and try to turn my face into the pillow, but Carter doesn’t allow it. His hand comes up to cradle my cheek, holding me in place.

“Please don’t cry, I can’t stand to see you cry,” he tries to soothe me, but it does the opposite because it reminds me that he is a liar. Because he’s seen me cry before, and he did nothing. He just stood there like a coward and did nothing.

“Are you crying, Crazy Daisy?” One of the girls cackles. I shake my head, willing the stupid tears back into the corner of my eyes, but it’s no help. I can’t stop them from falling, any more than I can stop these people from bullying me.

“Oh, god, what a drama queen,” the guy next to her sneers.

I’m on my knees, picking up the food I spilled on the floor as quickly as I can, but still, every second feels like an eternity. Like a group of hyenas, the popular kids stand around me, laughing at me like I’m a sideshow act.

Just when I’m done gathering all the peas up in my hand and putting it on the tray, someone throws another handful of the green vegetable at me. I look up at the person who threw the peas at me. It’s one of the girls. She has long blonde hair and model-like features, and if she wasn’t such a bitch, I would probably envy her, in a way.

She laughs at me, pointing her finger as if everybody wasn’t already looking at me.

“Isn’t that hilarious, Carter?” She loops her arm into Carter’s and looks up at him with a smile on her face. I’m not sure why I do it, but I chance looking up at Carter, and for a split second, I think he is going to say something to defend me.



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