Total pages in book: 99
Estimated words: 95471 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 477(@200wpm)___ 382(@250wpm)___ 318(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 95471 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 477(@200wpm)___ 382(@250wpm)___ 318(@300wpm)
At that, I look away.
“Does she love you?”
I wrap the hand towel around my fist restlessly. “I don’t know. I think she could have.”
“Then why’d you dump her?”
“Because…” I unwrap the towel and throw it, shaking my head. “It’s not that simple for guys like us, Adrian. Guys like me. Of course I want to have her here with me, but there’s danger that comes along with this lifestyle. I don’t know how to keep her safe when I’m busy keeping us safe.”
“That’s something we all have to think about, Jasper, but there are ways to do it.”
“Ways for you,” I tell him.
I don’t mean to sound so accusing, but I hear a trace of envy in my own voice. I don’t want him thinking I harbor any ill will over the better perks that come with being higher up on the food chain, so I work to squash it before I go on.
“You live behind Mateo’s walls. Of course you don’t have to worry when you’re at work that your wife isn’t safe at home, but I don’t have that kind of security. If I brought Autumn here to live in my shitty fucking apartment and then someone got to her?” I shake my head. “I can’t be the reason something bad happens to her, Adrian. And I can’t afford to spend all my time distracted by her, either. If I’m constantly worried about her safety, how am I supposed to concentrate on what I need to concentrate on?”
His lips thin, but he doesn’t offer up some magical solution I haven’t considered already.
“It’s just not in the cards for me,” I tell him, resigned to my fate. “I care about her too much. I can’t do this job and have her. I’m happy for you that you can, but some of us… some of us can’t have it all.”
Adrian doesn’t say anything.
His gaze is so solemn, I can’t hold it anymore.
I drop his gaze—and this ugly-ass topic—and turn to walk away.
As I do, my stomach knots up and I can’t breathe as easily as I should.
I hope like hell I did an adequate job assuring the most dangerous man I know that Autumn isn’t a potential threat.
But I’m not sure I did.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Autumn
Sleet pelts my bedroom window so hard it sounds like someone is outside throwing rocks.
I think that’s what wakes me up.
I can’t be sure.
All I know right away is that something doesn’t feel right.
I get the strangest sense that there’s someone in the room with me.
The hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I swallow, keeping my eyes closed while I try to orient myself, figure out where the intruder is. If they’re watching me, they shouldn’t feel compelled to act while I’m asleep. If they see my eyes open, that could change.
My heart thumps in my ears, making it harder to concentrate. I don’t know how to stay calm. I don’t know why anyone could possibly be in my apartment, but I know it can’t be good.
If I scream, the neighbor downstairs should hear me. I hear his alarm clock most mornings, so I know that… I just don’t know if I’d be endangering him if I did. I don’t have any particular fondness for my neighbor, but I don’t want to get him killed.
It’s absurd that I’m even able to think about that so calmly.
I wouldn’t have been before Jasper, but now I’ve brushed closely enough to a dangerous man… well, I just don’t feel as much like an unwitting bystander in that world as I would have before.
I decide what I’m going to do before I open my eyes.
“What do you want?” I ask calmly.
No answer.
I swallow convulsively, but I keep my tone nice and even to reassure the intruder we can handle this calmly, without all the messy dramatics.
If it’s anyone associated with Jasper, they should be calmed by that.
If it’s some local methhead who broke in to steal my electronics—well, then I’m probably fucked.
“Are you from Chicago?”
Still, the intruder doesn’t speak.
“You’re from Chicago,” I say, to see where this goes. “All right. We probably have a mutual friend. I have a friend who lives there. Maybe you know him.”
Silence.
“If you do know him, then you probably know… You really don’t want to hurt me. I’m not sure why you’re here or what you think I can help you with, but it would be a bad idea to cross my friend. He’s a very good friend. He would take it personally, and… Just take my word for it. It’s a really bad idea to get on the wrong side of him.”
Still nothing.
“So, I think the best thing for both of us right now is for you to leave. I won’t even open my eyes. I haven’t seen you. You can slip right back out the way you came, and I promise I won’t chase you. I won’t try to figure out who you are so I can tell him. We can just pretend this whole thing never happened. It’ll work out better for both of us that way.”