Total pages in book: 47
Estimated words: 46715 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 234(@200wpm)___ 187(@250wpm)___ 156(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 46715 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 234(@200wpm)___ 187(@250wpm)___ 156(@300wpm)
It was that same wild unchained expression like he was setting himself free….
Like we were setting each other free.
“But he gave me his word,” Dad goes on. “He’ll keep that stuff away from where the shareholders can see it, at least.”
The waiter brings our coffee. After we say thank you, Dad mutters, “I just wish he’d find somebody. Sorry, Lauren, you don’t need me unloading on you.”
“Find somebody?” I say, ignoring the last part.
I get this nasty feeling like I’m prying, but Dad never talks much about work, even less about Silas.
And why would he?
It’s not like Dad knows I’m waiting for any scraps I can get.
“I’m not saying older men shouldn’t do extreme sports….”
“Silas isn’t exactly old, Dad.”
“I said older,” Dad replies.
I look at my coffee quickly, keen to avoid his gaze, as though he’s mentally picking me apart, wondering why I wanted to defend Silas’ age so fervently.
“But if he had a wife, kids, something other than adrenalin and work, I think he’d slow down.”
“Maybe he doesn’t want kids,” I mutter, blowing on my coffee.
“He does. We’ve talked about it before.”
The café is bustling, with plenty of noise, but even so, I have to focus hard to keep my voice level. It’s like there’s a matchmaker inside of me, keen to get all the info about Silas that I can.
But this is my dad, not somebody to sneakily get information out of.
“Oh?” I say, somehow sounding casual.
“A few, he says,” Dad goes on. “But the problem is, he’s never found a woman…ah, you don’t need to hear this.”
I do need to hear it, but I cannot explain that without shattering everything.
“I don’t mind,” I say.
“It’s unrealistic,” Dad goes on. “He wants to look at a woman and know, instantly, that he’s always going to love her. He wants it like that.”
Dad snaps his fingers.
“But that’s not how it works for most people. Most people find somebody they like, slowly fall in love, and work daily to make it happen.”
“Maybe he doesn’t want what most people have,” I whisper, daring to dream that woman could be me.
But just because he pounced on me with lust-filled hands doesn’t mean he feels that way.
Maybe that’s why he was so pissed, looked so disgusted at the end…not only because we’re betraying Dad but because I don’t live up to his ideal.
I’m not good enough.
It’s not like I can even ask Silas since we agreed that we never happened.
“I understand that,” Dad says. “But he might wait too long. As a man who says he wants kids, he’s not working very hard to find the one.”
“Has he ever looked?” I ask.
“Yeah, when we were younger. But he’d go on a few dates and then tell me he didn’t want to waste her time. He’s different from most people. I’ve never been able to get him to tell me, but something happened when he was younger, something he never talks about. I’m sure of it. It’s this look he gets in his eye whenever childhood comes up.”
“And you think that relates to him wanting to find the perfect wife?”
The perfect wife…the phrase resounds in my mind, tattooing itself in colorful letters as I wonder and dream if I could be her.
“I think it means he never wants to feel boxed in. That’s what our whole lives have been, escaping from the normal confines, the normal existence. But I’ve managed to find a way to bridge that gap. Silas is still all in on the other side.”
“Maybe he just wants to be alone,” I mutter. “And he uses that as an excuse. He might have a bunch of girlfriends you don’t know about.”
I want Dad to tell me no, no way. But he sighs, picking up his coffee.
“That’s something I’ve considered too. Maybe he’s living a bachelor lifestyle, but he keeps it away from me.”
I’m fidgeting under the table now, struggling to accept what Dad’s saying.
“Do you think he’d do that?”
“He’s rich. He’s single. It wouldn’t be unusual.”
“Yeah,” I mutter, ugly images flashing across my mind.
Silas with other women, making me just another one along the line, nothing special.
Maybe that’s what he says to all of them.
Nothing happened.
CHAPTER
FIVE
Silas
I manage to resist the urge until I’m in bed later that evening, staring at the ceiling, with nowhere else to run.
I spent the day in meetings, then I took a helicopter ride over to a nearby bouldering location and worked my body raw on that, hammering onto the crash pads, trying to forget about Lauren’s taste and her closeness and her heat.
But even with my body pulsing, even with my guilt singing out, telling me I’m wrong, broken for what I did, for the friendship, the business partnership I risked.
It’s not as though the stakes are low.
My oldest friend, our company, right when we’re acquiring a new one which will if the multimedia approach works, make us millions, if not billions.