Total pages in book: 260
Estimated words: 245483 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1227(@200wpm)___ 982(@250wpm)___ 818(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 245483 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1227(@200wpm)___ 982(@250wpm)___ 818(@300wpm)
“How could you bring her here?” I ask him as my body trembles. My poor Robin. She can’t be here.
“You slept. Well you thought you slept, with not a fucking worry in the world. All the while, all I am is a fucking ghost of what happened to us! You kept me back to feel better,” he spits the last two words.
“Selfish fuck!” I spit the words as the bedroom door opens. In two large strides I’m at the door and pulling the handle hard so it shuts.
“Stay inside!” I scream at her while Jay fights for control, or does he? I don’t know anymore. My head pulses again with pain.
“I’m not going away, John.”
I grab both sides of my head, falling against the hallway.
“Jay, please,” I hear Robin call as the door creaks open again.
“Get out,” I tell him as my hands ball into tight fists. They pound my head time and again.
“Please let me help you.” She’s cautious and doesn’t move from her spot, but she opens the door slowly.
“You do this to me!” Jay’s voice forces my eyes up to the corner of the hallway as Robin approaches me. He screams back at me, his eyes glossy and suddenly I see him for who he really is. “This is who you are!”
“Jay, please,” Robin says and walks toward me with her hands up. She’s walking into the fire.
She’s not safe.
“Get out,” I tell her as I press my hand to the wall and steady myself. “Get out of here,” I bite out the words as she flinches and takes a half step back.
“I’m not leaving you,” she says quietly beneath her breath, her eyes wide with both fear and disbelief. Jay’s voice echoes in my head as he screams, but I don’t listen.
“Get out,” I say calmly, all the rage just beneath the surface. She tries to turn, to run back to her room, but I’m faster than her. I close the door and slam it shut before she can run. I cage her small body in, loving the heat and the feel.
I fucking love her, and that makes the pain in my chest only splinter deeper.
“Get out,” I repeat again, feeling her hair in my face and resisting the urge to touch her, to comfort her as she trembles beneath me.
“I can help,” she barely gets out as she turns in the small space between us.
“That’s why I’m here,” she pleads with me, chancing a moment to reach out to me. Her small hands reach up to my chest and I feel Jay inside of me. I feel him cower in pain and agony.
I’m a monster. “He never should have brought you here,” I tell her and grab her wrists.
Her breath shudders as I tug her away.
“No!” she yells as she kicks me and runs to the living room.
I grind my teeth and follow her in, right on her heels. She grabs onto the first thing she sees, the sofa, and grips it as if it will protect her.
“John, no,” she pleads with me, but she doesn’t turn.
My breath stills and I feel Jay pace inside, hating me and wanting to kill me as I pry her fingers from the edge of the sofa.
She can’t stay. I won’t let her see this.
Jay’s quiet as I fight her, holding her small body against mine and force her from the house. She kicks and begs me over and over, but I ignore her.
As I toss her outside, careful to keep her from falling too much, I know how this needs to end.
Chapter 29
Robin
Fear laces my blood and the night air is bitter cold, making my hands shake as I reach into my pocket for his phone I took from him as he forced me out. I’m glad I had the presence of mind to put on my shoes when I went back to my room. I did it to avoid being cut by the broken glass in the bathroom but I should have realized this would be a possibility as well.
My shoes slam down on the porch steps, one after the other as I run forward. I look behind me, over my shoulder, breathing heavily from the terror screaming in my blood.
I knew there was a chance he’d break. Every moment with John I waited for him to remember. It fucking killed me for him to look at me with new eyes. No memory of everything we’d gone through. It was selfish of me, but I needed to know if he'd still love me even if I kept the truth at bay. That selfish desire stayed my hand. That, and the fear of how he’d handle it once he learned the truth.
Once he’s learned who he truly is.
My Jay. The tortured boy and my savior in every way. But he doesn’t see it as that. He never could.