Total pages in book: 146
Estimated words: 141951 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 710(@200wpm)___ 568(@250wpm)___ 473(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 141951 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 710(@200wpm)___ 568(@250wpm)___ 473(@300wpm)
She couldn’t ignore how the ninety-minute webinars provided by the province’s mental health services affected her. Delaney recognized herself in the list of symptoms, and in the paths of avoidance or deflecting, that kept her stuck in her trauma.
Outside perspective made a big difference for her when she could see her problems projected through the life or experience of someone else.
She wouldn’t be the victim again.
She wasn’t that weak.
Those things could both be true, but also harmful.
“I think I might have PTSD,” Delaney admitted.
Putting it out into the world like that, even if it was only between her and Callie in the Jeep, was a huge step for Delaney.
“You can register every week for the webinars,” Callie told Delaney, “just use the same link I already sent. If it helped, I mean, some people go back a couple of times to learn methods of retraining their thoughts or learning how to target triggers. It’s—”
“I don’t think I’ll do it again,” Delaney admitted.
Callie nodded supportively. “Once was enough?”
“I got the point.” Delaney settled into her seat, folding her arms over her chest while she silently observed the movement on the highway below. With another week off before she had to return to work, a short car trip to have a face-to-face conversation with the only person she felt comfortable sharing these secrets with was more than worth it. Callie didn’t have to make time in her busy days for Delaney when they could do a session over the phone or on video chat, but getting away from her current day to day life could also be self-care. Something she desperately needed. “I keep wondering if because I didn’t really deal with the fire and how it messed with me, I gotta deal with this now, and in a way, that means they’ve won.”
They meaning her family.
The cousin, and her only brother, that set fire to her whole world. Literally. The Haus burnt to the ground in less than a couple of hours. The fire started at the back inside the rear offices after the guys had broken windows. It took twenty minutes of water spraying from the trucks of the fire department before the men decided to call the building a loss and maintain the blaze until the building fell. The back had taken too much structural damage.
She stood there and watched it all, and it never really felt like she left that time or place.
“They didn’t win,” Callie said. “They’re spending eight years in prison because your testimony about their movements and behaviors before and leading up to the fire helped to convict them. That alone makes you a survivor.”
“And I should focus more on the triumphs of my hardships and not the event itself,” Delaney parroted, remembering the advice about putting her past into a different perspective. One that didn’t automatically place her as the victim. Reframing tragedy took mindfulness and patience. She still needed some practice.
“Exactly,” Callie murmured. “You know, I think you’re gonna do okay. It just takes a little bit of time for some people to really get to the root of what’s keeping them stuck, but once you get it … boom. You’re out of there, Delaney. Out of your head and all the rest. Just give it time.”
She sighed. “How much is it going to take?”
Callie laughed lightly. “Why—do you have a deadline?”
Actually, yes.
“Gracen is getting married in the spring,” Delaney said.
“Oh, really? I didn’t hear that.”
“It’s a new thing. I don’t know if she’s started to spread the word, or …”
“No worries, I’ll keep it secret.”
Delaney wasn’t concerned about that, really. Her anxiety focused somewhere else entirely. “I would like to be able to go back home and maybe stay there for a bit. I want to enjoy that time with my best friend. She deserves a special day, and I don’t want to ruin it.”
Callie’s easy smile never faltered. “You won’t ruin anything, and for what it’s worth, you’ve already gotten past the hardest part of all of this.”
“How so?”
“You recognized something wasn’t okay. You asked for help, Delaney. Those are your first steps into healing.” Callie put the fast-food bag full of trash on the car’s floor before asking, “Do you think you’re ready to get back to work next week?”
Well …
“As ready as I’ll ever be,” Delaney answered honestly.
Chapter 7
Linda turned the salon into a shrine to whatever holiday or theme took focus that month. Delaney couldn’t say she liked the giant hearts hanging from the ceiling between rows of pink and white confetti strings, but it did give the place some charm. The small cupids pasted to the walls shot arrows into hearts stuck on every mirror.
A painted Happy Valentine’s Day welcomed everyone at the front windows on their way through the doors. The small salon tucked away into the strip mall showed up and out. Nothing was too much, apparently.