Total pages in book: 83
Estimated words: 82524 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 413(@200wpm)___ 330(@250wpm)___ 275(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82524 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 413(@200wpm)___ 330(@250wpm)___ 275(@300wpm)
“Hattie’s resilient. Most kids are.”
“Even so. She’s been through enough. I don’t want to be the reason she’s even more scarred than she already is.”
I touch his cheek. “You say you don’t know how to be a father, but it sounds like you have it figured out.”
He puts his hand over mine and nuzzles against my fingers. “You’re wrong. Every day I feel like I’m going to ruin her. Like I’ll say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing, and she’ll resent me and hate me forever.”
“Be kind to her. Support what she needs. Be a little strict, but not too much. Don’t ever hit her. Don’t insult her. You’ll be okay.”
“You make it sound easy.”
“Well, you missed the infant stage, which means you’re coming in at the best time possible.”
“That was my plan all along.”
I smile to myself and close my eyes. “What was your plan? Seriously, before all this?”
“I was going to watch you.”
“Creepy.”
“But it’s true. I was going to watch you and Hattie grow, and I was going to keep my distance. I wanted you and her to have a normal life. I provided however I could from afar.”
“I have been exceptionally lucky. How many scholarships does a little girl possibly need?”
“I’ve always wondered if you were going to think hard about the money.”
“I didn’t want to, honestly. Felt easier to accept it at face value.”
“That was my plan. Keep sending you what I could. Take care of you in secret. But never get close.”
“Sounds… lonely.”
“Most of my life is lonely.” He breathes against my neck and kisses me, lips tickling my cheek. “I have four brothers and a massive organization, but I’ve always been alone.”
I shift to face him, palm against his chin. “You’re not anymore.”
“I know.” A half-smile. “It has its perks.”
He kisses me. I sink into him, kissing back. This man, who spent all day beating, torturing, and questioning the most dangerous men in his crime family, needs me in a way I’ve never been needed before.
I’ve always had to fix things. I was the den mother before I had Hattie. I grew up fast, took care of Grandma when I was too young to even understand that’s what I was doing, and learned to express my love by being useful.
But that’s not how Rafe needs me.
For once, I’m wanted for who I am, and not for what I can provide.
It feels… good.
Really good.
“I’m starving,” he murmurs, breaking off the kiss. “I want to have dinner with you.”
“So long as there’s no screaming.”
“I promise I won’t make you scream until after we’re done eating.”
“Sounds like a deal.”
I kiss him again. I linger, thinking, this room was a hellish mess for dozens of people today—while for me, with him, it’s heaven.
27
RAFE
Blood’s such a pain to get out of concrete.
I blast it with the hose. The water runs pink as it rushes to the drain. Kellan uses a broom to scrub more of it out of the cracks but it’ll take weeks to make it disappear.
“You know, all things considered, this went well.” Kellan stops to wipe his brow. “Only one person died.”
“He was probably innocent.”
He concedes with a gesture. “But maybe not?”
I look at the garage doors grimly. One guard got a little too mouthy and had to be handled a little more roughly than the others. He didn’t survive.
All the others are fine and mostly intact.
But I don’t know who the rat is.
That’s the worst part. All this work, all this pain spent, and for nothing. I’m no closer to knowing who left that photograph on my desk than I was the moment I picked it up.
“You know what’s messed up?” Kellan helps me finish cleaning up. I wrap the hose and put it away. “You seem like you’re happy for once.”
“You mean from all the beatings?”
“Don’t be a prick.”
“I am happy.” I say it simply. I don’t do emotions and feelings, especially not with my brothers, but this feels easy because it’s true.
“And I’m happy for you. God knows if anyone deserves some joy, it’s you.”
“That isn’t true.”
“Come on, Rafe.” Kellan hesitates as he wipes his hands dry on his jeans. “You saved our lives.”
“I didn’t.”
“Yes, you did. You kicked open that door. You dragged us out. If you hadn’t shown up, we would’ve burned.”
“Leanna—“
“She was already dead. Let her go.”
“I can’t.” I close my eyes and swear I can still hear the roar of the fire eating my childhood home. In my dreams, my little sister is screaming. “I should’ve been there.”
“Then we’d all be dead. But instead, you saved our lives, you stepped up, you raised us when we had nobody else.”
“I did a great job, right? Silas is a charming sociopath, Cassian’s psychotic, you and Devlin—“
“Are perfectly well adjusted.” He shows his teeth and pounds a fist against the garage door. “You did your best. We all love you for it. You can forgive yourself for being imperfect whenever you’re ready. I know I did a long, long time ago.”