Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 81375 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 407(@200wpm)___ 326(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 81375 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 407(@200wpm)___ 326(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
“How soulless?” He devours half his potato like he just suddenly realized he’s starving. He stabs a carrot from the dish, not even bothering to set it on his plate before he pops it into his mouth. It’s uncouth, disarming, and completely captivating. I can’t stop watching his lips as he chews.
Don’t go getting obsessed now. Obsession sneaks up on you. It’s creepy.
“Incredibly. Officey. Just air and dust in the space where the heart should be,” I tell him.
He stabs another carrot and puts it into his mouth pretty much whole. They’re not very big, but my good god. New kink unlocked.
“I’m having a good time,” he says.
“You sound surprised,” I point out.
“I fucking am.”
And I’m obsessed (damn it) with how he says fucking. It’s more like fookin’ and fackin’ had a baby. It’s from the scar tissue at the side of his mouth, but I wonder if he realizes that it makes his words sound almost pretty in their uniqueness. He has a way of speaking that’s entirely unlike anyone else.
The longer I spend here, the more certain I am that he truly is entirely unlike anyone in other ways. And not ways I should be considering either, but my brain and ovaries keep going there.
“You’re not like I thought you’d be.” There goes my mouth again, running ahead of my brain, but to my mouth’s credit, it’s not like my brain is in a highly functional mode. It’s sluggish, sending all the wrong signals to all the wrong parts.
“Same.” He leans back in his chair and puts his hands behind his head. His jacket gaps open, and his shirt tightens across his chest in a way that’s incredibly sinful. “My opinion about this whole thing is more of a blanket statement that gets applied to each and every person, I’m ashamed to say. You must think I’m vile.”
“Only because you try really hard to give off that vibe. I get it. Cloaking yourself in stench makes sure no one wants a second sniff. Although…” I lean in, though getting closer to Luca should be on my top five list of things to not freaking do, right along with this whole charade and being here in the first place. “You smell really good. Like the outside. Pines and moss. Cedars? What kind of trees are out there? Maybe crows? What do crows even smell like? Probably metal because they love shiny things, although maybe carcasses too, because they eat dead things, so maybe not birds. Just trees. Clouds. Water. Earth.”
“Where did my mother find you?” he asks.
“In a rather morally bankrupt moment, I’m ashamed to say. I was plotting out how we should work around being each other’s arch-nemesis. I thought you’d be a douchwad, arsehole of a conscienceless turdbag, but you’re actually kind of funny.”
His eyes crinkle up at the corners, and this time, he smiles so big. “I think we might share the same sense of humor. But I’m not sure what I did to deserve that impression.”
“Arranged dates aren’t my forte.” I finish the rest of the salmon, and unable to help myself, I gush, “Oh. Oh my god! This is… this is beyond the pale. This is beyond the food. This is beyond heaven. This is straight into foodgasm territory.”
“Thank you.” I swear his cheeks actually get a little bit pink. “It’s been a while since anyone’s complimented my food.”
“Do they not have taste buds?” He finally helps himself to some salmon and makes the same face I’m sure I’m making, but holy shit, if I’m making that face, I need to tone it down because the last thing I need is to be giving bedroom vibes. I need to steer this around to pie-making vibes. “How many surgeries have you had?”
“Eighteen now.”
I choke on my saliva and hit myself on my chest to dislodge the trapped air. “They’ve done an incredible job, but I’m sorry you had to go through that. People say pain is supposed to teach you something, but I can’t get behind that. There’s a lot of unnecessary suffering in the world.”
“They’re getting smaller and smaller, and they don’t hurt so much anymore. Some are just to remove the scar tissue, if they can. The recovery time is also shorter. Maybe I’m getting used to it. I’m never going to look the way I did, but I can respect the artistry that’s gone into facial reconstruction. I also know how privileged I’ve been to be able to afford to not work, to have this place, and to be able to get procedures like that.”
“You’re really humble. I didn’t expect that either.” That’s perhaps the biggest kicker. That underneath everything—and I didn’t have to dig deep—Luca is kind.
“You naturally lose some of your arrogance, I think, when a soup ladle takes out your jaw.”