Total pages in book: 115
Estimated words: 106948 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 535(@200wpm)___ 428(@250wpm)___ 356(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 106948 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 535(@200wpm)___ 428(@250wpm)___ 356(@300wpm)
Any hope I’d had of ever leading a normal life was gone. Judith had informed me of that. I could never leave the world of the Cordova cartel now, I knew too much, but she was giving me a chance to heal before I made any decisions about my future. As if I had a choice. All I could hope was they allowed me to return to school for real at some point, to finish up my degree.
The thought of my hard work, my sacrifices, pissed away over the wrong man infuriated me, but I kept every emotion locked up tight inside. I knew Leo was deeply hurt by my silence, and I liked hurting him, liked sharing my pain. Misery loves company, and I was a big hole of darkness, drawing everyone around me into my despair.
When Joy visited me, I tried to put on a happy face, but knew I wasn’t succeeding. She was worried that I was more hurt than I was letting on, that something was wrong, but I’d kept my silence about my real problems. Who the fuck would even believe me if I told them I’d been drugged and hypnotized into loving Leo?
Something Leo said caught my attention, like a shiny lure thrown into the deep abyss of my mind. I followed that thought, trying to make my mind remember what he’d been saying. My body language must have alerted him, because Leo lowered his face into my line of sight.
Usually I could look past him, focus on the scar above his brow, or the fine hints of a blond so light it was almost pure silver coming in at his temples, and just drift. But today his gaze captured mine, the old compelling force back in them instead of the guilt and sorrow I’d grown used to. I didn’t like that he wasn’t suffering like I was and swallowed hard to keep from saying anything. Mules had nothing on me when it came to being stubborn. Once a man broke my heart, I never let him back in, ever, and Leo was going to learn that the hard way.
“Thought that would get your attention,” he all but purred. “You do a very good job of pretending I don’t exist, but your body still belongs to me.”
Another swallow, this time out of nervousness as he continued to stare at me.
When I said nothing, he simply held my gaze, then leaned back in his chair, my head unwillingly turning to follow him. He was too satisfied with himself, too sure, and it left me unsettled. Knowing he had my attention, he allowed himself a slow smile that screamed trouble.
“I realize I’ve been handling this the wrong way. You won’t listen to my explanations of why I did what I did, and I’m done feeling guilty over it. You’re right, I am a monster, and I will do whatever it takes to bring you back into my life. I wanted you to do it willingly, but I’ll take responsibility and help urge you along. Enough with the pity party.”
“Pity party?” My voice came out thick and scratchy from disuse, breaking as I said in a louder voice, “Pity party? I find out the guy I’m in a relationship with is a cartel-affiliated fucking sociopath and you accuse me of having a pity party? You are completely fucked in the head.”
“I am.” He shrugged and gave me a grin that was almost boyish, in a disturbing way. “A prime example of that is how I feel about you.”
Holding up my hand, I rose from my chair and backed away. “Don’t. Don’t you dare say you care about me. I’ll puke if you do.”
He rolled his eyes—rolled his damn eyes at me—like I was the one behaving in an insane manner. “I never realized you could be so dramatic. Nice to know I bring out that passion in you. Now get back over here and sit down. We need to discuss this like adults.”
Something huge, nasty, and ugly rose from deep inside of me, from the place festering with fear over what had happened, the constant tension I was in. I hated this, hated being afraid, hated being alone. Whatever he’d done to my mind had twisted me so I missed him with every breath and dreamed of him constantly. Every time I woke up, I missed him more, and loathed myself for it.
The smirk he gave me was the last straw, and I picked up a pretty decorative vase that probably cost a shit-ton of money and chucked it at him as hard as I could.
He ducked, lucky asshole, and it shattered behind him like a bomb going off.
In a rage, I threw the table the vase had been on against the wall, the shatter of the delicate wooden legs snapping only feeding my wrath.