Total pages in book: 76
Estimated words: 71908 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 360(@200wpm)___ 288(@250wpm)___ 240(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 71908 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 360(@200wpm)___ 288(@250wpm)___ 240(@300wpm)
Pregnancy is no freaking walk in the park. I’m not sure what I was expecting, but this might be one of the hardest things I have ever done. Women do not get enough credit for this. How did my mom do it four times?
I rub my hand down my belly. I’m thankful, though. The first few years I hadn’t thought much of pregnancy. It was in the back of my mind. Paxton and I have sex almost every day. It has become impossible for me to fall asleep without an orgasm. No clue how I managed that before. I swear my body finds ways to make sure I’m dependent on my husband. All parts of me are obsessed with that man.
On some level, I thought I would get pregnant without actually trying. I believed it would occur unintentionally, but it wouldn’t truly be an accident if it lingered in the back of my mind. I didn’t want to have to verbalize my feelings about it. Motherhood was intimidating, and I wasn’t sure I’d ever be ready for it. So if it just happened, then so be it.
Except it didn’t.
Then when presented with the possibility that maybe it wasn’t in the cards for me, I had to face the fact that I did want to be a mother. I wanted to see a child that Paxton and I made together. To have the bond with them that I share with my own parents. I also wanted Paxton to be a father. I knew without a doubt that he would be an incredible one.
I still had lingering doubts about what kind of mother I would be. I adore all my nieces and nephews. Mac frequently made subtle remarks suggesting that I could both take the lead and have a child. If men can do it, then I can too. That all of us are a team, and she’s correct.
I knew I would be far from alone, and a child would never go without anything in the Marino family. Plus, I have one of the most incredible mothers, and I know she would be super hands-on. I also started to think the sooner the better at this point.
I haven’t fully taken over my role, and honestly, I don’t foresee me completely doing so for a while. Right now, I stand beside my father. We look to each other about everything when it comes to discussions. With him still staying involved, it would be wise to get pregnant now.
I’d discussed this with Paxton, and I knew he was trying to hide his excitement. I wanted to give him this. I know he is fully enmeshed in the family. Everyone treats him as one of us, but he still wants a family of his own, and so do I.
We’d booked an appointment for me to see a specialist and found out it was a simple hormone imbalance that was easily fixed. In no time, Paxton had me pregnant. If I had ever doubted that I could have an array of emotions, pregnancy has beat the hell out of it.
Those first few months, I was all over the place. My emotions were up and down. Thankfully it settled when I hit my second trimester. I managed to get through it without murdering anyone unnecessarily, which is a positive. I thought about it a few times, but it passed pretty quickly.
Now I am at the end of my third trimester, and we are counting down the days until our baby girl makes her appearance. When Nix found out I was having a girl, she was so damn excited.
At least now she’ll have someone else to focus on when it comes to trying to make them girly. I’ve done my time with her constantly trying to do my hair and put makeup on me. Though I’m sure she’ll still try. Even though I have found my own style.
I have read and reread those pregnancy books. My focus lately has been on going into labor. I’m ready to get this show on the road. I’m already a few days late.
They give all kinds of tips on how to encourage the labor along. I have done them all, but there is one I favor more than the others. When Paxton steps into our bedroom and sees me, he gives me a warm, loving smile.
He’d gone up to the main house to spar with my father. We’d built our own home a few years back to the east of my parents’. If they’d had a say, we would have just taken over one of the wings, but I enjoy our space.
During those first years, we hadn’t worried much about it because we were busy traveling and cleaning up after the chaos we had caused, but now things have calmed down, and everything is in its place. Paxton’s plan is coming to full fruition.