Total pages in book: 106
Estimated words: 105231 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 526(@200wpm)___ 421(@250wpm)___ 351(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 105231 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 526(@200wpm)___ 421(@250wpm)___ 351(@300wpm)
What was happening?
“Caren, baby. Listen to me. I need you to fucking breathe. Hear me? Do as you’re told.”
Was he kidding? He just expected her to start breathing?
“Shit. Fuck. Fine. We’ll do it Tyler’s way. Fucking soothing voice, what is he talking about? All right, baby, I want you to concentrate on my voice. Tell me what you can hear. Just one thing you can hear. And focus on that.”
“You,” she managed to get out.
“Good girl. You’re doing so well. Am I being soothing? Didn’t know I had it in me. Must be working. Two things you can smell.”
“You,” she said.
He made a scoffing noise. “Are you going to answer every question with me?”
Well, that sounded nice. She’d want every sentence, every day, every breath to end with him.
Okay, stop.
You can’t think that way. He’s not yours and he’s not going to be.
“What else?” he demanded.
Already, she was thinking more clearly and her breath was coming easier. She would have Tyler to thank for that and what must have been his advice to Travis on the phone.
It definitely wasn’t due to Travis ordering her around.
Had the nutter really thought that he could just order her to breathe and she would?
“Cleaning stuff,” she eventually managed to say.
Exhaustion washed over her and she could finally breathe. That was such a relief. Tears filled her eyes and she closed them tight, determined not to let them out. Not being able to breathe, feeling so completely out of control, it was terrifying.
She couldn’t even put it into words.
She’d suffered from panic attacks for years and yet they still took her by surprise each time. They still threw her back to that helpless child, waiting for her piano lesson with her cruel mother.
Or praying that her father might notice her, might care about her, only for him to walk past her as though she was invisible.
“Tell me three things you can see,” he said.
“I’m okay now,” she told him, opening her eyes to look at him. “You don’t have to worry. Tyler told you what to do?”
He grunted. “You don’t look so good, Goldie.”
Goldie . . . not baby? He had called her baby before hadn’t he? Or had she imagined that?
God. She wasn’t sure. Everything was so muddled up inside of her head.
“Thanks,” she said faintly. “That’s what every woman wants to hear.”
He gently grasped hold of her chin, tilting her head back. Suddenly, she remembered the lump on her forehead. She’d worn a hat in an attempt to cover it. Her hat was bright orange and pink patchwork and thank God she had it.
Still, she wasn’t sure it was sitting properly and the last thing she wanted was for him to see the lump on her head.
So she shied backward, banging her head into the wall behind her.
A groan of pain escaped her.
Her poor head. Her poor brain. Was it true that whacks to the brain could kill brain cells? If so, she was a damn sight dumber than she had been twenty-four hours ago.
“Careful!” he barked. “You’re going to hurt yourself.”
“Too late,” she muttered.
“That’s it. You do need me even if you deny it. Without me, you go around having panic attacks and hurting yourself.”
Dear Lord, help her.
Give her some patience. Please.
Unfortunately no one was listening to her pleas. Because she couldn’t seem to find much patience.
“You’re the one who scared me!” she snapped at him. “Lurking outside my apartment like a cockwomble."
“Like a . . . like a what?”
“A cockwomble. It’s someone who does something stupid while thinking they’re all that and a packet of chocolate biscuits!”
“Biscuits?” he repeated.
“Cookies. Keep up, man.”
“Someone who thinks they’re all that?” he said.
“Yes. Someone who thinks they’re awesome while doing something really dumb. Like lurking outside my apartment, scaring me to death, then saying I need you around because I can’t take care of myself.”
He was such a tosser.
She was glad she’d discovered this before she did something stupid.
Yeah? Like what? Throw yourself at him and tell him how much you want him and how you’ve loved him since you were a teenager and that it’s always been him?
Yep.
That was never going to happen so it shouldn’t matter to her what a nutter he was.
She was also insane since she actually thought some of his behavior was attractive and cute.
Well, no more.
“I think it would be best if you deleted my number off your phone and left me alone,” she informed him.
She’d had enough.
And those tears that had been threatening slid down her cheeks as she grabbed her handbag and stood. Of course, the world decided to spin, which was really crappy timing, and she made the mistake of closing her eyes for a moment.
Then she found herself in the air, being held in strong arms, against a firm chest.
Damn it.
Why couldn’t some part of him be soft? Why couldn’t he have flaws?