Total pages in book: 121
Estimated words: 112755 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 564(@200wpm)___ 451(@250wpm)___ 376(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 112755 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 564(@200wpm)___ 451(@250wpm)___ 376(@300wpm)
“They are my dessert, after a seven-course meal. Cooking became a way for me to escape, and now is the way for me to get my life back again. I got extra money in prison by cookin’ for other inmates. I got physically big. Strong. Pushed weight. Nobody was tryna fuck with me, unless it was to order some food. I can fight. I’m resourceful. I’m on the battlefield. I’m a soldier ’til the day I die. I’m slaughterin’ these mothafuckas, left and right. Every day a pedo is killed is a damn good day, in my book.”
“Have you ever gotten counseling, Legend?”
“Have I ever gotten counseling?” He smirked, looking at her as if she were crazy. “My Ruger GP100, Glock 19 and Smith and Wesson are all the counselin’ I need, baby!”
“I’m serious. I am telling you right now, as a person who knows, that even when they’re dead, you’re still going to feel the pain in the pit of your gut, Legend! You’re still going to have nightmares. You will still bleed on the inside.”
His nostrils flared as he walked up to her, huffing hard. His eyes filled with bloodlust, violence, but she stood her ground. She would not cower, for she was looking into the eyes of a hulking monster. Inside though, he was just a small, trapped child. A terrified little boy.
Never breaking eye contact, she reached for his hand. He was trembling. She felt it as soon as she touched him.
“What the fuck a counselor gone do for me, huh?” he sneered. His wide, tattooed chest poked out, reminding her of an enraged bull, ready to tear shit up. “Ask me a bunch of dumb ass questions?” His jaw tensed. “Say dumb shit like, ‘It wasn’t your fault.’ I FUCKIN’ KNOW THAT! I didn’t ask to have my six-year-old dick sucked by a grown ass man! I didn’t want my asshole played wit’! I didn’t need three mothafuckin’ men slobbering all over me, caressing me like I was some fuckin’ woman, a lover of theirs, their long-suffering wives. I already know it wasn’t my fuckin’ fault, Desiree! I already know that most adults don’t help and protect shit! We’re makin’ the laws, and we let these mothafuckas walk, time and time again! They get a slap on the wrist, while the guy with a joint gets ten years! Mothafucka out in Covington just raped a whole baby, it was on the news, and he gets counseling and put in a special part of the prison for his own protection. He gets meals with salt and pepper, while the baby he ruined gets a lifetime of trauma and mental disorders, and grows up to be a LEGEND!
“I already know that bein’ called ‘pretty’ by a grown ass man is fucked up! I already know that bein’ called ‘Freckles,’ by your abuser, is not a cute nickname—it’s part of the groomin’ process. So when a teacher does it, and you tell him not to, you gotta let that bitch know what time it is! I already know that accepting toys and candy from these mothafuckas is a mistake! I already know that the nightmares of them trying to fuck me in the ass ain’t gonna stop, but at least they won’t be alive to dream of me no gotdamn mo’e! I already know that Ms. Florence meant what the fuck she said, when she told me to TELL SOMEBODY I LOVE THE TRUTH OF WHAT HAPPENED TO ME! When she told me that my mama failed me, but she would NEVER TURN HER BACK ON ME! I knew she meant that shit! When she said, ‘LEGEND, GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, OR I WILL HAUNT YOU IN YOUR DREAMS!’—she meant that, too!
“She was right when she warned me that I am lettin’ them win, if I keep messing up my own life! I knew that somewhere, somebody loved me… but then she DIED! I had nobody to talk to about this anymore. I had her one day, and she was gone the next! The one person God let me have, who had my back, he snatched away from me! Don’t tell me what a mighty God we serve. He is CRUEL God! And I have accepted the fact that kings can and will be mean! God is LEGENDary! I already had a counselor, baby! Her name was Ms. Florence. I was already failed by a selfish ogre. Her name is Paula—she is my mama. She birthed me, named me, and left me to die. She’s a ditzy, silly ass woman, who was so horny and desperate for a man, she turned a blind eye to what was happenin’ to her child. Then called me a liar even though I had bruises all over my fuckin’ body, and the doctor told her somethin’ wasn’t right! SHE REFUSED TO SEE THE EVIL! They still left me in that house! SOCIAL SERVICES REFUSED TO SEE THE EVIL!