Sincerely Up Yours – Grumpy Boss Comedy Read Online Penelope Bloom

Categories Genre: Contemporary, Funny, Romance Tags Authors:
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Total pages in book: 92
Estimated words: 85593 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 428(@200wpm)___ 342(@250wpm)___ 285(@300wpm)
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“Wow,” Elizabeth said. “I could use one of these for my bathroom.”

“Your bathroom?” I asked.

“I’ve been kind of backed up lately. I could use something to scare the shit out of me at the appropriate time.”

I shook my head, smiling. Eloise didn’t seem to get the joke or care. She just led us into the room where a man with long, surfer-blonde hair and a goatee was standing. He had one arm crossed over his chest and his other raised to his chin where he stroked his facial hair.

“Hey babe,” Eloise said. She went up on her tiptoes to kiss him. He nodded to her, only halfway paying attention. “Guys, this is Basil. My boyfriend.”

He turned toward us with a theatrical slowness, then looked us up and down. “Who are the townsfolk?”

Ugh. If it was possible to choke on pretension, this Basil guy would’ve been purple in the face already.

“This is my big sister, Darcy,” Eloise pointed. “And this is her blue-haired friend, Elizabeth. Why don’t you tell them about some of your art?”

Basil gave us all a pained expression like she’d just asked him to explain math to a moldy sack of potatoes. “Well, this piece is my latest. I call it Home, the Tangled Existential Plane Between Fear and Longing.”

“Catchy,” Elizabeth said lightly.

I could hear her barely holding the laughter in her voice, and it made me feel a fit of giggles coming on. I stifled it though, because I didn’t want to hurt my sister’s feelings. “Oh,” I managed.

The piece in question was a pure black background with specks of white and beige scattered in a vague pattern.

Basil stepped closer, gesturing. “These tortured lines represent my soul, and the black here is to indicate the suffering behind…”

I started to zone out when I sensed something behind us. I turned and saw Dominic striding down the hallway, tall and proud.

Oh, shit. If the mission was not to cause a scene with this Basil guy, Dominic was almost certainly about to fail it spectacularly.

“What the fuck is this?” he asked.

Basil turned a suffering eye on Dominic. “This is my soul on display.”

“Your soul is fucking creepy.”

That actually earned a smile from Basil. “Why, thank you.”

Dominic turned his attention to me, eyes narrowed. “Why did you ask me to meet you here?”

“Honestly? Because I thought you wouldn’t come,” I said.

He spread his long arms. “It wouldn’t be the first time you were wrong.”

“Hi,” Eloise said. She rushed up and hugged him while his arms were still spread. “I’m Eloise, Darcy’s little sister.”

Dominic flinched back from the hug like a flea-ridden dog had just started humping his leg. His lips twitched. “Alright,” he said finally, brushing off his suit.

“Hi, Boss,” Elizabeth said, twinkling her fingers. “Did you bring either of your friends?”

“Are we doing this or not?” he asked me, completely ignoring Elizabeth. I wondered if she was used to that by now.

“You bet your ass we are,” I said. “I finally get a chance to unlock the secrets of Dominic Lockwood in a one on one interview. Come on, I picked out the perfect little spot for it. You're going to love it.”

He probably was going to hate it, actually, but that was half of the fun.

10

DOMINIC

I took a seat beneath a wooden trellis lined with hanging vines and Edison bulbs dangling from black wires. Darcy had led us off to a side section of the outdoor area that was secluded from the rest by a well-maintained bush wall and more wooden trellises. The area housed a single wrought iron table and a pair of chairs.

“Did you set this up?” I asked. I gave the area another suspicious once-over. It felt more like the scene of a romantic date than an interview location.

“My sister has art shown at this gallery every few months. I only found this spot a little while ago. I don’t think anybody else knows about it because it’s so off the beaten path.”

I grunted, taking a seat across from her. She looked fantastic. Darcy had on a loose-fitting sleeveless black top tucked into a pair of black, baggy pants. She wore a white cotton cardigan over it all, looking cozy and making an irrational part of me want to pull her in to my arms, keeping her warm against the chill in the air.

Despite the sandals and relatively casual clothes, she looked classy as hell. Maybe it was the short hair and long neck, or it could’ve been the golden hoop earrings and matching necklace.

“Thanks for coming,” she said.

I nodded, then waited for her to get on with the questions. Instead, she just leaned forward on the table, resting her narrow chin on the tops of her hands. Her eyes seemed to dance with the reflection of lights as she looked up at me, totally comfortable in the silence.



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