Total pages in book: 49
Estimated words: 47606 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 238(@200wpm)___ 190(@250wpm)___ 159(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 47606 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 238(@200wpm)___ 190(@250wpm)___ 159(@300wpm)
After another moment, I said, “Are you done?”
He grunted.
“I am smarter than you in some areas, obviously none of those being the law. But why you’re being an ass about that is beyond me.”
He glared at me. “You’re better at Excel than me.”
I squinted at him. “I refuse to have an entire conversation about what you’re better at than me simply because I missed whatever convoluted point you were trying to make.”
“It was not convoluted.”
I crossed my arms.
“It wasn’t,” he muttered belligerently.
“Sometimes,” I began, “not all the time, but on occasion, you have the psychological maturity of a five-year-old.”
“What?” he groused at me. “Nuh-uh.”
I rolled my eyes.
“So what? Who cares?”
“Could we start walking again? I’m freezing.”
Grabbing my arm, he steered me into the falling snow that was coming down quite a bit harder. “All I was trying to say was that I can take care of myself and you. Think about it. Have I or have I not been doing that for the past five years now?”
He had. He’d hired me and then assumed I would leave the state’s attorney’s office with him. Along the way, all my many breakdowns had been met with unconditional support and understanding.
All that was amazing, but it did not negate the fact that due to his heroic nature, he sometimes rushed into the fray when it wasn’t necessary. A lot of the time, taking a step back and looking at the situation, it was easy to see what was needed.
“This, right now, is a different thing,” I pointed out. “This is actual physical jeopardy you could be in.”
“Could be. We don’t know yet.”
“But you have to admit, if I’m not standing right next to you, you probably won’t get hurt. You understand that, right?”
“Maybe don’t start imagining what could be the issue before you know.”
“I will not have Genrikh Antonov, or anyone who works for him, anywhere near you,” I said firmly, yanking my arm out of his grip. “That will not happen.”
Grabbing me again, he pushed up the sleeve of his coat that I was wearing, took hold of my hand with his gloved one, and resumed walking.
“Why?” I said after a few moments, not minding the handholding as much as being steered around by my arm like I was ten.
“So you don’t run away.”
“As if you’re not faster than me.”
He grunted smugly.
“I will wait and see what they say, but seriously, I can’t have Gen—”
“I have to tell you, that name does not inspire any kind of fear.”
“If you knew him, it would.”
“Yeah, really big man abusing people younger than him who don’t have his same resources and are basically at his mercy.”
I cleared my throat. “If he’s out, I’m sure there’s new ones, but—”
“I wish I had a Xanax or an edible to give you.”
I smiled then.
“We’ll both have a shot of bourbon at the pub.”
“No, we will not,” I assured him. “Bourbon is vile.”
“That’s sacrilege you’re speaking now.”
I shivered hard.
“We’re almost there,” he soothed me.
“It’s not that. I… I was so stupid.”
“When?”
“All the times I went back,” I said under my breath. “You have no idea how many times I was away cleanly and then returned.”
He shrugged. “What do I say when we talk to women and men who have been through similar situations?”
“No,” I rushed out. “It’s not the—”
“Oh, the fuck it’s not,” he rumbled. “It’s the allure of ruins and you know it.”
“No, Colt, you—”
He tightened his hold on me so I was tucked up against him. “You knew the ruins couldn’t sustain you. That life was no good, nothing there, but because it’s what you were used to, because you understood how to navigate the twists and turns, you went back since you knew it would be good and safe, even if only for a short amount of time.”
“I was an idiot,” I declared.
“You were human,” he replied with a shrug. “Give yourself a break.”
We walked in silence for a few minutes.
“How did you go to school?”
“I got my GED, and then Gen paid for my first two years of school that I started at seventeen when I lived with him. Once I moved here, I transferred to DePaul University and got my BA in criminology. One of these days I should go back and get my master’s.”
“Why didn’t you get the combined BA and master’s?”
“Oh, I don’t know, maybe…money?”
“Lose the sarcasm,” he demanded.
“Then don’t ask stupid questions.”
“Fine. Go on.”
“I had the ten grand as you recall, but I had to get a job fast because eating was also a priority, and the whole roof-over-my-head thing was necessary as well.”
“Right.”
I laughed suddenly. “You used your GI Bill to pay for school and, well, your parents. I basically had a drug-dealer pimp of a boyfriend for a bit before I bailed.”
He did a slow pan to me, and I lost it.