Total pages in book: 64
Estimated words: 61248 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 306(@200wpm)___ 245(@250wpm)___ 204(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 61248 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 306(@200wpm)___ 245(@250wpm)___ 204(@300wpm)
What do I feel?
The words replay in my head, and all I know is that I have never felt as intimate with anyone in my life.
I press my lips to his, and we’re instantly wild with need, fighting to get his pants down, maneuvering to shift our bodies until I’m straddling him, gripping his cock and guiding him inside me. I’m gasping all over again as he pulls me down his ridiculously hard length and thrusts deep. He groans with the feel of me around him, and I like the power to make him wild. I want more. It seems like I always need more with him.
But when I lean in to kiss him, to rock against him, his hand slides under my hair, and he holds me there, searching my face. “Did you like it?”
For reasons I can’t explain, having him ask me that, having to answer while he watches feels more vulnerable than lying across his lap. But I don’t pull away, nor do I play coy. “Yes. Yes, I liked it.”
A mix of heat and satisfaction flares in his eyes, but there is more of that tenderness there, too, that I don’t try to understand. I lean in again and press my mouth to his. He cups my head and claims my kiss, devouring my mouth, greedy and hungry, and I like it. I rock against him, and we’re all over each other. Touching. Kissing. Swaying. Every inhibition I’ve ever owned has been devoured by the heat between us, and we’re both clinging to every second, slowing down. Speeding up. More rocking, pumping, fucking each other, and at times it feels deeper.
As if we’re making love.
But it’s here; it’s time. Passion consumes us, and so does the end. My body curls into his, shaking against his with the intensity of my release, and the low guttural groan that follows from him leads us to total collapse. We melt into each other, and my face is buried in his neck. I’m not sure how it happens, but one minute I’m hyper-focused on his hand on my back, and the next a waterfall of emotions rushes over me. Tears are all but bursting from me, and Ethan is going to think I’m a freak or that he hurt me.
Or both.
“Bathroom,” I manage to say, and when I try to move away, he holds me tighter.
“It’s normal, baby. It’s the endorphins. Just let it happen.”
“I don’t… I don’t want…” It’s too late. I explode into tears, my body quaking to such a degree that I barely know when he shifts us and lays us down, pulling my back to his front, his big body encasing mine from behind, his hand stroking my hair. Time stands still, and I don’t even know why I’m crying. It’s as if everything I’ve bottled up for a lifetime is out and wreaking havoc on me and him. When, finally, it calms, he hands me tissue, and I press my hands to my face.
“I need to go to the bathroom and blow my nose, and I never thought I’d say that right after sex to any man, let alone you.” This time when I move away, he lets me escape.
I rush to my bedroom, into the bathroom, and shut the door, going to sit on the toilet where I cry some more and blow my nose. Oh yeah, and I pee. I’m just one big beautiful mess right now. By the time I’ve pulled on a robe, washed my hands, and taken off the make-up that is now in all the wrong places, this emotional ride is fully over, and exhaustion is starting to slide over me.
There’s a knock on the door, and I don’t hesitate. I walk over and open it to find Ethan standing there in only his pants, looking like a poster for hot men and temptation, the kind that wouldn’t want to be with a blubbering idiot. But that’s not how he acts at all. He captures my hand and walks me to him, his hand settling on my lower back. “You okay?”
“Why didn’t you warn me? Asshole,” I add weakly, only half teasing.
“It doesn’t happen to everyone, and you needed it. Clearly. And it probably won’t happen next time.”
“Probably?”
He cups my face and tilts my gaze to his. “It’s about healing. And I hope we’re doing that together.”
“I hope so, too,” I whisper, but in the back of my mind, I think we’re just so wounded, we’re almost like wild animals, always fighting for survival. Never able to find true peace.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Sofia
What starts as Ethan running me a bubble bath ends in us both in the tub, sitting across from each other, a sexy luxury I’ve never shared with a man before him.
“Your house has a lot of personality,” he says, after referencing my old-school-style claw-foot tub. “Did it come this way, or did you make changes?”