The Big Fake Read Online Penelope Bloom

Categories Genre: Funny, Romance Tags Authors:
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Total pages in book: 106
Estimated words: 99356 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 497(@200wpm)___ 397(@250wpm)___ 331(@300wpm)
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But I told that little voice I wasn’t a dog, and I could talk to a bone without wanting to put my mouth on it. Probably, at least. Besides, this bone looked like it needed some comforting, and what better way was there to comfort myself than comforting someone else?

I plopped down on the bench beside her, tilting my head her way and drawing my brows together. “Let me guess. You tried the food in the cafeteria? Don’t tell me it was the sushi.”

She kept staring.

I scooted a little closer. “Hey,” I said, dropping the charming act. “You okay?”

She stirred, almost surprised by my voice. She looked over at me and barely seemed to see me. Oddly enough, that was kind of nice. Somebody who wasn’t eager to please me, for a change.

“Sorry,” she said. “Weird morning.”

She was blonde with long-ass hair that was in an Amazon-like braided ponytail thrown over her shoulder. She had tan skin with a speckling of freckles across the bridge of her nose and big, blue eyes. Her nips were a natural, deep shade of reddish pink and she had the perfect posture of a woman who danced or did yoga religiously.

Yeah, I noticed. I already mentioned I paid attention to detail, like the way her right index finger was idly scratching a nervous little white patch in her dark blue jeans. It was a well-worn spot, and I had a feeling most of her clothes would have a similar worn spot in the same area. I also noticed how she wore little snowman earrings in red and green even though we were still four months out from the holidays. One of those people, I thought.

I felt my own stupid brain working in its old, disappointing ways. That was the word of the day for me. Disappointment. Because it was starting to feel more and more like a stupid little circle I was running in. Meet a girl, find a new and exciting way for things to end, repeat. And where was I now? I’d wandered right over to the first beautiful woman I saw and started trying to talk instead of even processing what I’d seen on that fucking cork board.

Maybe I should’ve listened to that little voice in my head. Then again, what did a little voice know?

“Weird is the right word,” I said, ignoring my own internal warning bells. They were telling me to walk right the fuck out of Pollard Marketing, forget about Annabelle, and swear off women for a couple years. Things would be simpler. Wasn’t simple boring, though? “What’s with the tattoo on that guy’s fingers? I mean, put aside how dumb it is to get ‘Suck it Dudes’ on your fingers, but why go plural? He could’ve had a neat one letter per finger situation.” I was hoping to get at least a smile out of her. For some reason, the look on this girl’s face was tugging at something deep inside me. For once, it wasn’t the string that led to my cock, either. Maybe that string was connected somewhere in the vicinity of my heart? Probably not, but maybe.

The corner of her lip twitched, but it was more of a bitter smile than amused. “He was drunk. And yeah, I always thought it was a really stupid tattoo. Not as stupid as the girl who believed that guy actually cared about her though, I guess.”

Oh, shit. “Those balls were your boyfriend’s?” I asked. Stupid, Dean. I should’ve said hands. Bringing up the balls was hardly the most sensitive way to approach this, especially because she had to be aware how unusually small and unimpressive they were. “The ass was my girlfriend, actually,” I said. “So we have that in common, at least. Both our significant others decided to screw us by screwing each other.”

She frowned. “How do you know it was your girlfriend? I mean, you couldn’t see much. Other than…”

“The freckles,” I said. “They form a pretty distinct pattern. One I recognized.”

She nodded absently.

“I’m Dean, by the way. Dean Slater.”

She barely looked up. “Pearl.”

“Just Pearl? Like Madonna?”

Pearl’s big blue eyes lifted to mine in a dry, that’s not even close to funny, kind of way. I couldn’t help but grin at the way she was glaring, and my grin seemed to finally break through something in her.

She lowered her eyes and snorted a quick, little laugh and flashed a smile at her knees. “Pearl Moreno.”

“So, uh. Did you see this coming?”

“You mean someone pestering me while I try to process the fact that my boyfriend–former boyfriend…” she trailed off, eyes almost glazing over. She blinked, then continued. “Look, I’m not trying to be rude. But, I feel like I just–” She stood and put a hand to her mouth, eyebrows pulling together.

I got up. She was short, so I had to bend a little to look into her eyes. “Hey, you okay? You look like you might–”



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