Total pages in book: 50
Estimated words: 47196 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 236(@200wpm)___ 189(@250wpm)___ 157(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 47196 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 236(@200wpm)___ 189(@250wpm)___ 157(@300wpm)
As I prepare the filling, I talk to my viewers. “So how are you guys? Everyone doing okay?” I lean in to read the comments. “Hey, Elise! Yes, apple pie is my favorite too.”
“Hey, Kara, I love caramel. We can add that to the apple filling. Yum!”
My face falls as I read another comment. “Zach? Uh, he’s not here.”
I hold a finger up to the camera. “I’ll be right back. I need to get something from the fridge.”
I walk off screen, take a deep breath, and try to get myself together. I should have been prepared for this. I should have known that people would ask about Zach, and I’m not ready to answer them. It’s too soon.
I lean back into the frame and smile. “And I’m back!” As I slice the apples and the thunk of the knife hitting the board fills the quiet kitchen, I start to ramble. “Like I said, I love a good apple pie. I love the smell of it baking. I mean, who doesn’t love when the scent of apple and cinnamon fills your house? It’s comforting, right?”
I hold up an apple. “It’s weird, if you think about it. Like, I have this apple and some of them are perfect, crisp, and sweet.” I hold up an apple with a big bruise on the side. “And then sometimes you get an apple with a bruise, and you have to decide if you’re going to cut around the bruise and use what’s left or if you should throw the whole thing out.”
I pause and tighten my hold on the knife before I start slicing out the bruise. Instead of looking at the camera, I’m staring at the bruised apple as I work. “Heartbreak is kind of like that. When your heart gets bruised, you wonder if you’re ever going to be whole again. You can’t just cut out that bruised side of your heart, though. And yeah, people say that time heals, but in that moment, you don’t believe them. You begin to wonder if you’ll ever be the same again. Will the ache ever stop? Or will you always be half a person with a bruised heart?”
I let out a breath and then dump the apple slices into the bowl. “What if you just have to learn to live like this? With a heart that never heals.”
I use my arm and wipe at a tear that has rolled down my cheek, and I force out a laugh. “Oh my goodness, Cookie Crew, this was supposed to be about pie.”
I pick up the cinnamon as my back door opens. I freeze, and then I’m stunned when Zach walks in.
His gaze eats me up, and he points to the door. “You left the door unlocked.”
I swallow, unable to form a sentence.
He moves into the room. “I was sitting in your driveway, watching your live, and I had to come in. I hope that’s okay.”
I nod.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left. Seeing you hurt about killed me, and I convinced myself that you were better off without me.”
Finally, I find my voice. “I’m not.” Stronger, firmer, I shake my head. “I’m not better without you, Zach.”
He walks toward me but stops short of touching me. “I’m lost without you, Skyler. I love you. I love you so much, and even though I know you deserve someone better, I can’t let you go.”
I clear my throat and look at the camera, my heart pounding. “Hey everyone.” I chuckle. “Uh, sometimes these lives go off the rails, huh? I know we have a pie to make, but I’m going to need a few minutes. I’ll be back… thirty minutes, okay?”
I lean down and look at the comments. People are screaming in all caps saying no and wondering what’s going on. I turn to Zach. “They want to know if you’re going to be on the live later too.”
He swallows hard and nods. “Yeah, I’ll be here. I’m not going anywhere.”
His words hit me hard, and I look back at the camera. “All right, everyone. We’re taking a short break. Make sure your notifications are turned on so you know when I come back on.” I wave into the camera. “See you soon.”
As soon as I turn off the live, I look at Zach. I want to forgive him, I really do, but I can’t just let this go. Not yet. “What happened?”
He takes a step toward me and stops. He gestures to the camera. “I’m sorry for interrupting your live, but I was watching from the car. I was going to come in afterward, but when I saw how sad you were, I couldn’t wait.”
“I’m glad you did.”
He lifts his arms as if he’s going to reach for me and then stops and fists his hands at his sides instead. “I know I fucked up, Sky. I was stupid.” He shakes his head like he’s trying to get rid of thoughts. “First, I want you to know I’m sorry. I’m sorry I let you get hurt.”