Total pages in book: 159
Estimated words: 149301 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 747(@200wpm)___ 597(@250wpm)___ 498(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 149301 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 747(@200wpm)___ 597(@250wpm)___ 498(@300wpm)
“Mama, I don’t wanna have—”
“Kage, you’re volatile and stubborn. Like your father. One thing you have over my father, and your father, too, is patience, and your ability to see light in darkness. Don’t let my father trick you, or goad you into somethin’ that you can’t get out of.”
“Mama, please.” He huffed in frustration. “I hate when you do this. Who have you been getting your weed from lately? It might be laced with something.”
She chuckled at that. “I haven’t smoked any Mary Jane in weeks. I’ve been too busy praying and meditating for my family and friends. A lent of sorts. Look,” she ran her hand nervously along her leg. “go somewhere you love. Somewhere peaceful. Just think, and meditate, and find your center.” He rolled his eyes. “I know you think this is just a bunch of superstition and mumbo jumbo, but you know I’ve been right sometimes… you know that!”
…And yes, sometimes mama’s visions were right.
“I go to the river that runs through my property and just sit there, every now and again.”
“Yeah, you love going to the river. Go there and pray, Kage. Ask God and the angels to help you. Matter of fact, it all makes sense now. I kept seeing you by the water, and that’s where you’ll get some peace. Forgive yourself, Kane.”
“Forgive myself for what?”
“Forgive yourself for the past. Forgive us all. I, uh, I ran into Lorna’s brother the other day. He didn’t see me though, or at least I don’t think he did.” She played with her gold hoop earring, and looked past him. Towards the window. “Have you spoken to her lately?”
“I ain’t seen or spoken to her in at least eight years.”
“I liked her somewhat, but she wasn’t the one for you. She didn’t understand you, but there is someone perfect for you, son.”
“Mama, why are you goin’ on about my ex, about women, my daddy, Wilde men, and all of this mess? I just came to pay you a visit. Now I’m in my old room with you tossin’ ’round them tarot cards, and speakin’ in code about omens.”
“Well, I bring it up because I feel like you want a change in your life. At least according to the reading. Hell, I could be wrong,” She chuckled. “I’m biased after all, but I want you to find love again, too. I would like a grandbaby, one day. You’d make a wonderful father.” He sucked his teeth and turned away. “I think you’re lonely, too, son.” She leaned forward and rubbed his knee, making him smile. “Would you admit it to me?”
“Admit what?”
“That you want love back in your life? You need it. Only love can defeat hate, honey.”
“Who do I hate, Mama, besides Grandpa? I hate that motherfucker with a passion, that’s a fact.”
“I’m not talking about a person.”
“He ain’t a person. He’s a damn demon.”
“Come on now. Listen to me. Keep your mind open. You hate being betrayed, Kage. It’s the worst thing in the world to you. You love bein’ in love, but you think that deep down, you can’t pull it off because you can see through people… their darkness. It’s what made you go after my daddy the way you did. You saw his demons even before I had. Your intuition about folks is spot on, but you don’t trust it when it comes to affairs of the heart. You’re concerned about bein’ hurt again, so you don’t even try anymore. You’ve been single for so long, havin’ one night stands, but that’s not what your heart truly desires.”
Mama was a little crazy, but damn it, he loved her, and she was onto something. Some of what she said rang true. He did long for a soul connection. Someone he could call his own, but he had to choose wisely. He didn’t want another damn divorce. It gutted him. He married young, but for life. After that, and all the stints in the funny farm, he had a hard time connecting with folks. Not because he didn’t know how, but folks were funny. Fickle. Unreliable. He was the type of bastard that told you A, B and C, and damn it, he meant it.
People told lies. Lots of ’em. Big and small fabrications. People in the world were two-faced, too. They’d pretend to be one way, but were really another. He didn’t believe in sugar coating shit, and definitely didn’t do any ass kissing. If he said that he was sorry, which was rare, he meant it. If he told you that he loved you, he meant that shit, too. Humans were an interesting study, and he seldom found folks worth giving his time to. Women were easy for him to get – but they didn’t always give him the soul fusion he desired. There was always something missing. He wanted to be whole and complete with just one lady. To be mated in mind, body and spirit for life.