Total pages in book: 159
Estimated words: 149301 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 747(@200wpm)___ 597(@250wpm)___ 498(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 149301 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 747(@200wpm)___ 597(@250wpm)___ 498(@300wpm)
“She tried to talk to me as she was quickly gettin’ dressed, begging me not to go, but I just walked off. Besides, I was sure the police would be there soon due to all of the ruckus. I didn’t want to go to jail on account of her. I did as I said. I went home. And uh,” he shook his head, “for probably the first time in years, I got in the bed with a bottle of beer, a cigarette, the box fan blowin’, and my blues music playin’ on low. Then I… I cried like a fuckin’ baby.”
She stroked his cheek. Nothing but love in her eyes.
“I was drunk by the time I fell asleep. I woke up, showered, packed up most of her stuff and set it by the door, then went to work. Apparently she’d tried to come to the house that night, I found out later, but I had put the chain on the door and shoved a chair up against it. Anyway, when I got in from work the next day, her shit was gone, and so was she. We didn’t talk for a few weeks, then she came by the crib unannounced.”
“She didn’t read the room, huh?”
“Not at all. When I tell you I’m fuckin’ done with you, that’s what I mean. She tried to explain herself… said that he was payin’ her attention, and I was workin’ all the time. He was a nurse apparently, too. That’s how they met. Ain’t that some shit?” He smirked. “The education that I paid for helped this woman cheat with another man. The irony.” He scoffed. “Anywho, I told her I wasn’t tryna hear it. She kept blowin’ up my phone for several weeks. After a while, I agreed to meet her at restaurant for breakfast.
“Now, I had my own motives, and she obviously had her own, too. Two different agendas. She went into this long thing about how much she missed me, how it had only happened twice, and it was more of an emotional affair than sexual, that things had went too far… he was in the middle of a messy divorce, and she was his shoulder to cry on and all of this other bullshit. She tried to toss in there that I was better in bed, so it wasn’t about sex, it was just about attention. As if that was supposed to somehow make me feel better. I nodded and listened, but I was checked out. Then I slid an envelope over to her. The divorce papers.”
“I knew it!”
“She got to cryin’ and carryin’ on. Telling me that I was a cold, uncaring son of a bitch. That I wasn’t being fair. That I wasn’t perfect, and she made this one mistake and I was making it so hard. I explained to her that a mistake is eating up my last ice-cream bar because you forgot it was mine.
A mistake is putting bleach on my black shirt in the laundry, forgettin’ it was in the same load as the whites. A mistake is readin’ the wrong book for an exam, or walkin’ out the house for work with your slippers still on. No ma’am. This wasn’t no mistake. You didn’t fall and slip down on another motherfucker’s dick. Let him take you to Pound Town. Twice. That ain’t no accident.” He held up two fingers. “Probably happened more than that, but I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt.”
“She wanted to save her marriage, so it wouldn’t be far-fetched of her to downplay what happened, and the number of times she stepped out.”
“Exactly. I’m real funny about shit like this, Poet. I can handle a woman sayin’ terrible things to me in a fit of rage. I can handle the woman I love cussin’ me out because she thinks I said something unkind, or did her wrong. Emotions happen. Women sometimes are emotional creatures, and I love that about y’all. That’s why God made y’all the nurturers in the first place. We’re not cut out for it. You can do a lotta shit to me, and I’ll forgive you if I love you, but you give your body and heart to another guy, then I can’t move past that. I don’t care if it’s an emotional affair with no sex—that’s just as bad. In the back of my mind, I’ll always see you with that other man. I’ll never be able to trust you again. Cheating is my dealbreaker.”
“I understand.”
“I’m sorry that you understand. I wouldn’t wish this type of understanding on anyone.”
“I don’t believe you’ve never cheated on anyone, Kage.” She put her hand on her hip.
“I’m true blue, but there was one incident.”
“I knew it!” She laughed, a sound that came out a bit forced.
“Hold on now, let me explain. I was a kid, okay? When I was sixteen, I tried to cheat on this gal I was dating, with my stupid, young, silly ass.” She boldly met his gaze. “My lies were awful! I kept lyin’ to cover the other lies, and it was just a fuckin’ mess. I ended up confessing everything, and she didn’t even ask when I started tellin’ her what I’d been up to. Naw, that’s not me. I learned my lesson. She wasn’t even my girlfriend, but I was not honest with her, and that’s what matters. If I have to do all of that, then it’s not worth it.”