Total pages in book: 145
Estimated words: 141385 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 707(@200wpm)___ 566(@250wpm)___ 471(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 141385 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 707(@200wpm)___ 566(@250wpm)___ 471(@300wpm)
This warm, fuzzy, buzzy feeling that’s pooling between my legs and spreading out through my body is familiar but not.
I know arousal. I’m no stranger to my own body.
I’ve just never felt this kind of instinctive arousal before. It’s like my body is begging for more. There’s an itch I can’t reach, one that only the man in front of me can scratch.
And if the growing firmness against my lower stomach is anything to go by, I’m not the only one feeling this.
I run my fingers up into his hair, pressing my hips against him. He jolts, and with a small gasp, pulls back, ending our kiss.
His eyes have a glazed sheen to them, and he stares at me like he can’t quite believe what just happened. My heavy exhales meet with his, mingling in the space between us, and for a moment, neither of us say a word.
“I’m sorry,” he says, pulling back slightly. “I’m not trying to push you into anything. I—”
“It’s okay.” I’m surprised at my own words—I’ve never even pecked anyone before, let alone been in a situation like this. “I… You… We don’t have to stop.”
His chest heaves. “Harriet, think about what you’re saying.”
“I am.” I swallow back the lump in my throat and step closer to him again. “We’re engaged, right? We can do this.”
“I don’t know,” he says softly. “It’s not that I don’t want to. I just… don’t know if we should.”
Ah.
There it is.
That familiar sting of rejection.
Of not being wanted.
Of always wishing for something that I can’t have.
And really, it’s fine. This is little more than an arrangement. I know that. It was from the very beginning. It’s not as if we fell in love at first sight. We’re here because it’s mutually beneficial, and aside from the fact that an heir must be produced at some point, there’s really no need for us to be physical.
That’s what I’m going to tell myself.
Maybe it’ll numb the sting of the hope that kiss sparked. The hope that perhaps we could build something real in time.
The hope that maybe there’d be somewhere I’m truly wanted.
“You’re right.” I take a few steps back and smile, although my heart isn’t in it. “In that case, do you mind if I take the master? I had a lie down in there earlier, that’s all, so…” I dart around him with my head lowered.
My cheeks are burning. With what, I don’t know. I can’t tell if this is embarrassment or acceptance of the inevitability that even the man who just agreed to marry me can walk away from me.
“Wait.” Crown Prince Finley grabs me from behind, wrapping his arms around my shoulders.
“Your Royal—”
“Finn. My name is Finn. Use it.” His lips are right by my ear.
I tilt my face away. “I cannot.”
“Finn.” His voice is lower this time. Firmer. Rougher. “Use my name if you want to address me, or I shall simply ignore you.”
Ugh.
“Fine. Finn,” I say softly. “Please let me go.”
“It’s not what you think. My rejection.” He sighs and presses his face into my hair. “It’s not… It’s not that I don’t want to. Truly. I do. Shit, that should be obvious.”
Well.
I’m not going to point it out, but I can feel that obvious against my lower back.
“I’ve… never… done this before,” he finishes quietly, his arms tightening ever so slightly around me.
I pause. “You’re a virgin?”
Another sigh, and this time, it blows through my hair. “Yes. I’m a virgin.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN – HATTIE
“That’s it? That’s why you think this isn’t a good idea?” I say.
“I don’t want to rush you into anything. And, well, it’s not like I can guarantee you a good time.”
“So, what? You want to wait so you can go home and study it?”
“I wouldn’t put it that way.”
I laugh and tug on his arms, loosening his hold just enough that I can spin in his embrace. I reach up onto my tiptoes so my lips are by his ear and murmur, “Me, too.”
“What?”
“Me, too,” I repeat, pressing the side of my face against his. “Actually… That was my first kiss just now.”
He steps back and cups my face, staring intently into my eyes. “It was?”
I nod. “So, I’m pretty sure you’ve got nothing to worry about. I wouldn’t know a ‘good time’ from a bad one.”
“That fills me with so much confidence.” A laugh escapes him, and I can’t help but smile a little at the relief that instantly sags his shoulders. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
I nod, touching my hand to the back of his on my face. “Do you think I forgot everything? No. I was waiting for you this whole time. Just in case I ever made it back to you.”
“Fuck.” He kisses me, and it’s nothing like the one from a moment ago. It’s a harsh coming together of our lips, and I squeak, tilting my head slightly.