Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 81280 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 406(@200wpm)___ 325(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 81280 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 406(@200wpm)___ 325(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
Kronos picks me up and hugs me tightly, but carefully. We have had such a tumultuous relationship lately. It’s felt like he kind of hates me in some ways. It’s felt a bit like I hate him too.
“You’re not the bad guy. You couldn’t be the bad guy if you tried. Not even on your very worst day.”
Tears start to prick my eyes as the last creature in the universe who I expected to be nice about this shows me kindness I am certain I don’t deserve.
“You let them carve your skull open?” Kronos asks.
“They had to, in order to get the chip out. It was proprietary. I wasn’t allowed to keep it. But I got to remember. My name is…” I pause. I remember my name. The name I worked under. The name I lived under. It doesn’t belong in this space.
“Pet,” I say. “My name is Pet.”
He narrows his eyes at me. “Do you really not remember your name, or…”
“No, I’m being symbolic.”
“Oh,” he says. “Very good.”
“So you remember everything?” Sharp asks.
“Yes, but the everything is in three separate phases. There’s what I remember from before I met you. There’s what I remember from when I first met you. And then there’s the three years I sold pills for money, and then there’s meeting you all again, and then there’s forgetting again and then there’s living on the ground… I’ve had four different lives, it feels like. I don’t know.”
“We’re going to give you time to integrate it all,” Sharp says.
“But I am the bad guy! I was trying to bring you down. Don’t you get it?”
“You were working for a force that owned you,” Sharp says. “We don’t hold you responsible.”
“But you should! I’m an enemy. I’m like those soldiers you chopped up. You should chop me up, too!”
“Alright, pet,” Boss says in a deep, resonant tone. “I think it’s time you got some rest. You’ve had surgery on your brain. It’s understandable you’d be addled.”
“Stop being understanding!”
“She needs a nap,” Kronos says.
“I know, but she won’t take one in this state,” Sharp replies. “She’s just going to work herself up.”
“We can put her to bed and stay with her until she falls asleep. If she’s going to rant and flail, she can do that in bed.”
They talk about me as if I’m basically not there, and I am deeply offended by it, but that doesn’t matter because none of my mates care.
“I’m evil. I was trying to ruin your lives.”
“You parachuted from a floating city with a piece of your skull glued in place to try to save us. We’re good,” Kronos says.
“I don’t want to be good! I don’t feel good!”
“Now those two statements certainly have some depth,” Sharp says. “We’ll talk about those once you’ve rested.”
“Promise me you’ll punish me,” I say as Boss lifts me into my bed nest in the cozy little room that I suddenly have so many memories about. I remember the very first time they showed me it. I was being a little shit and then they showed me that they’d made a space for me and I felt super guilty about it.
Kind of reminds me of now. I feel so deeply guilty about realizing that I am the problem. They were telling me I was being bad a lot, but it was always when I was trying to save humans, which I thought was good. But looking back… were they really trying to stop me from saving others? Or were they trying to stop me from getting caught myself… which I was probably doing because that was my secret mission?
“Lie down. Careful of your head,” Boss says.
“What if they secretly put more chips in my head?”
“We are going to take you to a human pet vet,” Sharp says. “You are going to be getting a full work-up. Don’t worry.”
“Didn’t we do this already? Didn’t you get me checked out?”
“Not for brain chips,” he says.
“Oh, that was a mistake on your part,” I say. “Wow. You must feel really silly right now.”
“You are being very silly right now,” Sharp replies. “Get some sleep.”
“Only if you promise to punish me for my treachery. Make me walk the plank…”
“Enough,” Kronos growls, putting rough bass in his voice and flashing his sharp teeth. “It is time you sleep. Now.”
I feel a zip of electricity rush through me. I’m not sure if that’s my own feelings, or if he just gave me a little zap to remind me I am going to be handled.
“But I’m not tired,” I squeak softly.
“That is a lie,” Sharp says. “You are exhausted. Close your eyes now. No more talking.”
I am starting to get in trouble, and I like it. I need it. The guilty feeling in me is assuaged a little by their sternness. I find my eyelids getting heavy. I’m not really being obedient, I tell myself. I’m mostly just giving into my own need for rest, which is more intense than I realized.