Total pages in book: 151
Estimated words: 139803 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 699(@200wpm)___ 559(@250wpm)___ 466(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 139803 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 699(@200wpm)___ 559(@250wpm)___ 466(@300wpm)
It wasn’t right. If I loved Julian so much, why did I want Axel, too? I hated that saying if you love two people at the same time, choose the second one. Because if you really loved the first, you wouldn’t have fallen for the second. I loved Julian so fucking much that just the thought of losing him made me want to scream with agony.
“Sweet girl,” Axel called softly, drawing my eyes back to his, “come out of your head.”
I swallowed thickly. “I don’t think I want to swim anymore,” I managed to get out.
Something flickered in his gaze, but he didn’t say anything. I felt Julian’s hands slide around my waist as he pressed the front of his body against my back. I shuddered, my eyes sliding closed as I relished in the feeling of being so close to him. “Why?” Julian softly asked me.
I shrugged, not wanting to answer him. Julian had always had a possessive, jealous streak running through him, and it was ugly when it reared its head. I had no urge to bring that beast out of Julian. We were doing so good.
“Baby,” he softly coaxed as his arms flexed around me, “don’t withdraw from us. You need to be open about how you feel, remember?”
I squeezed my eyes shut as I drew in a deep, shaky breath. Tears burned at the back of my eyes. I felt Axel’s hands grab mine. “Sweet girl, look at me,” Axel commanded. I shook my head, afraid that if I looked at him, I would burst into tears.
“Meghan, look at him,” Julian ordered, his voice rough. “Open those beautiful eyes, baby girl, and look at him.”
I bit hard on my bottom lip as I ripped my eyes open to look at Axel. My vision blurred with tears as I looked at my rock standing in front of me with tender, understanding eyes. This man had never judged me, had never pushed me except to push me to be better.
“Meghan, what is it?” Axel softly asked. “What’s wrong?”
Hot tears slid down my cheeks. I shook my head and tried ripping myself away from the two men, but both of them were too strong. And I knew they would never let be away from them while I was breaking down.
“Meghan, baby, hey.” Julian moved around me to stand next to Axel. He cupped my face in his hands. “You’re freaking me out. What’s going on?”
“I can’t.” I couldn’t tell him what was wrong. What if he hated me for developing feelings for another man? What if he decided that would make me unfaithful, and he walked away?
I couldn’t lose him a second time.
Axel released my hands, and I swung my fear-filled eyes to his, terrified that he was walking away from me. Axel swore softly under his breath. “Meghan, Julian needs to take care of you. Let him do that.”
“You’re leaving?”
“Fuck,” Julian swore. “Baby, I need you to tell me what’s wrong,” Julian gently ordered. “I swear to you, I will not be angry—no matter what you tell me.”
“I don’t want to lose you,” I cried.
Julian gripped my face in his hands again, and he slanted his lips across mine, kissing me hard—aggressively—his lips working fast against mine. My tears mixed with our lips, but he didn’t slow his kiss as he hauled me close to his body, a low growl slipping past his lips before he forced the kiss to a slower pace, eventually pulling back from me.
“I will never walk away from you again, Meghan. I don’t give a fuck what the circumstances are. I will always fight to be with you, you got that?”
“Please,” I softly begged as I shook my head. “I can’t.”
Julian sighed but nodded his head. “Okay.” He gently ran his hands down my arms before he pulled me into his embrace. “Okay, baby. Just tell one of us when you’re ready, okay? But fuck, don’t pull away like that ever again.”
* * *
✶ ✶ ✶
* * *
Dr. Gresham and I moved through the garden outside. “I can see that being out of here is messing with you a bit,” Dr. Gresham noted. I blew out a harsh breath as I latched my eyes onto my favorite rose bush. It was still struggling to bloom, just like I was. “How are your medications working for you?”
I shrugged. “I feel down a lot,” I admitted.
“Let’s talk about what’s making you feel down, Meghan,” Dr. Gresham said as we sat on our normal bench.
“Vincent came to visit me,” I said quietly, a lump forming in my throat at the thought of my old best friend. Tears burned at the back of my eyes. “He—fuck, he doesn’t know me anymore.” I drew in a deep, shaky breath. “It was unexpected, and I wasn’t ready to deal with it.”