Total pages in book: 44
Estimated words: 43102 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 216(@200wpm)___ 172(@250wpm)___ 144(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 43102 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 216(@200wpm)___ 172(@250wpm)___ 144(@300wpm)
Finally, curled up around the pillow that doesn’t smell like either of my guys, feeling alone and confused, I let the tears come.
Chapter Eighteen
GABE
Alex just left, her sister driving away with her, and I round on Adam, pissed the fuck off.
“What did you do?”
He shakes his head and pulls his hands down his face as he paces to the windows and back.
“I’m protecting us both. If she doesn’t know what she wants, we need to know that now. If she does know what she wants, and that isn’t us, we also need to know that now.”
“That was such a clusterfuck. I can’t even wrap my head around it. What did I miss today? What did you say to her to send her packing?”
He glares at me for about three seconds, then blows out a breath. “Today was fucking great. We had fun. We laughed, we fucked, we slept.”
“And then I come home, and she runs for the hills? Jesus Christ.” I cross my arms over my chest. “Adam, I love you, but this is fucked up. We need her.”
“I know.” He sits on the couch, lowers his head into his hands, and fists those hands in his hair. I’ve never heard his voice quiver before, unless it was during sex. I’ve definitely never seen him on the verge of tears. “I need Alex to love us back, baby. Without hesitation. Without a thought. Because for you and me, there’s no going back, but anytime either one of us even says the word love, in any context, her reaction isn’t great. And you saw how she flinched when she saw us holding hands.”
I scowl at the floor because I did see that. And I fucking hated it.
“She’s never had an issue with you and I together before. I don’t think it was jealousy.”
“Of course, it isn’t. It’s that she’s afraid that while you and I are a united front, she’s still a third wheel.”
“That’s bullshit.”
Adam looks up at me with eyes full of anguish. “You and I know that. And we can tell her that all we want, but she has deep-seated trauma from that asshole that she lived with, and she has to believe it on her own. As much as I want to, I can’t force her to really hear me.”
“Fuck.”
“And I can’t have you pissed at me, too. Jesus, G, it was a great fucking day. And now she’s fucking gone, and I hate how you’re looking at me. I’m trying to keep us all safe, and I’m failing spectacularly.”
“Come here.” I pull him to his feet and cup the back of his neck, pulling him against me. He clings to me, buries his face in my neck, and it softens my heart. He’s hurting as bad as I am.
As bad as Alex is.
“I’m right here, baby. I love you so much that I’m stupid with it. But I love her, too.”
“I know.”
“We’re going to figure this out. Maybe a couple of days apart will be good for her. Like she said, she needs to think, and we’ll just keep reminding her how important she is. Just because she isn’t here doesn’t mean we let her forget us. We won’t make it easy for her to walk away for good.”
Adam lifts his head, and for the first time since Alex walked out the door, he has hope in his beautiful gray eyes.
“You’re right.” He pulls me in for a kiss, then he stalks away from me, headed for his office.
“Where are you going?”
“I’m winning back our girl.”
Chapter Nineteen
ALEX
Ihaven’t left the bed in almost twenty-four hours.
I got up to use the bathroom, and I moved the fan around the room because it’s hot as fuck in here, and I miss the air-conditioned house I’ve been living in for the past few months. Aside from that, I’ve been laying here.
Stewing in my own juices.
I probably stink.
I can’t bring myself to care.
I miss my guys. I turned my phone off because I was afraid they’d call or text me all night, trying to talk me into going back, and I’m not strong enough to tell them no.
Because dammit, I love them.
I love them.
And I haven’t loved anyone aside from my family and my very best friends ever in my life. No one. Because I don’t trust them. Usually, men I’ve dated scoff at my fear of animals. One guy actually bought me a puppy and then had the audacity to call me an idiot when I told him to get that thing away from me.
They think they can fix me, or overlook my quirks for a while, until they get old. And then, it’s over. And I can always be in the comfort and safety of the home I pay for, that has my name on it, when I need to go lick my wounds. Because this is where I’m safe.