Total pages in book: 102
Estimated words: 99967 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 500(@200wpm)___ 400(@250wpm)___ 333(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 99967 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 500(@200wpm)___ 400(@250wpm)___ 333(@300wpm)
I shift Alice onto my shoulder so I can burp her and type out a response.
Me: Says who?
Biting my lip, I wait while the little bubbles bounce, and Blake replies to my message.
Blake: I found your paperback on my couch where you left it the other night, and it seems I’m getting an education along with the female character.
Yeah, like Blake needs any advanced education on sex. The man could teach his own college courses on the subject. When I realized I left the book behind, I downloaded it on my reading device so I could keep going.
It’s fucking amazing.
I snort and set my phone aside to finish up with little Alice, get her comfortable in her crib, then move on to make my rounds and check in with everyone else.
Jamison’s mom is rocking him, skin to skin, and she’s silently crying to herself, so I squat next to her and lay my hand on hers.
“Hey, Naomie,” I say softly. “Is there something I can do?”
“No.” She wipes at her tears, and I stand to get her a box of tissues, which she accepts. “No, it’s just hard. I hate that I can’t be up here more often with him. He deserves to have me with him all day, every day, but I have two other kids and a full-time job.”
“You’re doing the best you can.”
She shakes her head and just looks so damn sad.
“My best isn’t good enough. I’m a single mom, not by choice. And I already have so much going on at home. I think I have to give Jamison up, and it kills me, but I know in my heart that it’s the right thing to do for him.”
I blink quickly, completely blindsided by this conversation. “Naomie, this is a huge decision. I can arrange for you to speak with the hospital’s counselors again and—”
“I’ve been through it until I’m sick to my stomach,” she replies, taking a long, deep breath. “And the only time that I’m even remotely relieved or feel better is when I picture him with a family who can take care of him. We don’t know what kind of medical needs he’s going to have long term. I don’t even have insurance. I have no idea how I’m going to pay for his hospital stay.”
She starts to cry again and reaches out for my hand with her free one.
“I love him. I love him so much, but Harper, I think I have to love him enough to do what’s right for him. And I’m not going to lie, for me, too. And for my other two kids. I don’t have a big family. I don’t have help. I can’t do this by myself. I thought I could, but I didn’t expect him to be born so early, and it’s just too much. I know that makes me a bad person and a horrible mom, but—”
“Listen to me right now.” I hold her hand a little tighter, and her eyes find mine, swimming with tears and despair. “You are not a bad person or a horrible mother. You’re being realistic about what you’re capable of, Naomie. You’re thinking of all of your children and taking into consideration what their needs are. I think you’re an incredibly strong woman. I also urge you to spend one more session with a counselor to make certain that this is right for you. To make sure that it’s not exhaustion or fear talking. I don’t want you to do something you’ll regret for the rest of your life.”
Jamison makes a little squeaky noise, and Naomie smiles down at him.
“I know. Thanks for letting me talk for a bit. I’ll talk with the counselor and my doctor, but I think I’ve made up my mind, Harper.”
She checks the time on her phone.
“Shit, I have to get home to put the kids to bed. My sitter has to go.”
“I’ll take him.” Naomie transfers Jamison into my arms. She kisses his sweet head before she gathers her things and smiles at me.
“Thanks again.”
“You’re welcome. Will I see you tomorrow?”
She pauses and presses her lips together. She won’t look at the baby now.
“Maybe.”
And with that, she walks away, and I cuddle Jamison for a minute longer, then kiss his tiny cheek and lay him down.
God, that sucks.
The whole situation just tugs at my heart.
My phone buzzes in my pocket, and I remember that Blake was texting me.
Blake: Sorry to blow up your phone, but this scene in front of the mirror? Happening. Just warning you.
A smile tugs at my lips as I shoot him a reply.
Me: Yeah? Lucky girl. I might be jealous.
That’s right, I’m a smart-ass. Not even ten seconds later, he responds.
Blake: That’s one orgasm that I’ll deny you. Keep talking shit, and you won’t come for a month, sugar.