Total pages in book: 116
Estimated words: 111732 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 559(@200wpm)___ 447(@250wpm)___ 372(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 111732 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 559(@200wpm)___ 447(@250wpm)___ 372(@300wpm)
Mom made it clear she wanted Dad to find love again, as long as whatever woman he finds is kind-hearted and good to him, Ripley, and me. Surely, he remembers her saying that to him, so his current reluctance has nothing to do with some misplaced idea that he’d be betraying Mom by falling in love again. But, hey, if he’s not ready, then introducing him to Geraldine would be pointless. She could be the perfect partner for him, but if his heart isn’t open, then he won’t see that.
“Okay, Daddy,” I say, patting his arm. “Take your time.”
He cringes. “Either way, I can’t imagine myself dating one of my daughter’s friends. I’d feel like a dirty old man.”
I crack up. “My yoga friend is fifty-three.”
He scoffs. “A child.”
“Twelve years is a totally appropriate age gap at your age, Dad. Especially given how fit and active you are. Lots of men your age date women more than twenty years younger.”
“Why?”
“Fuck if I know.”
We share a laugh.
Dad says, “It’s a moot point, because I’m not ready to date anyone of any age any time soon.”
I smile. “There’s no rush. I only mentioned my friend because she reminds me of Mom. She has the exact same kind of gentle, kind-hearted energy.” I shrug. “In retrospect, the person I probably wanted to set her up with was myself.”
“Aw, my love.” He kisses the side of my head. “Mom is looking down on both of us and telling us to get back out there and feel joy again. Especially you, Wild Child. You know it was her greatest pleasure to watch you taking the world by storm.”
My heart is aching. That was Mom’s nickname for me, not Dad’s. This marks the first time anyone has called me that since Mom died, and hearing the nickname out loud is making me realize the truth about what’s going on with me. I’ve been searching for comfort. To numb the pain. And to do that, I foolishly latched onto a walking red flag of a man. And then, onto Max, when it was clear he was hot as hell but not even remotely interested in a serious relationship. Where did my mother’s fierce daughter—the one who always took the world by storm—go? In my present form, I can barely take the world by a slight mist.
“You know what?” I say, as full clarity descends upon me. “This former Wild Child is officially tamed. Or at least, for a while. Starting today, I’m going to delete all my dating apps and swear off men completely. I’m done chasing cheap dopamine hits for at least a full year while I work on myself. I’m going to become the best possible version of Marnie Long. The best possible mother and daughter and friend. And when I finally put myself back out there, I’ll be healthy, so I’ll attract a good man who wants a healthy relationship. Something wonderful for both Ripley and me.” I smile. “With a little luck, I might even find the kind of true love you and Mom shared.”
“And still do.”
Oh, my heart. “And still do,” I echo softly.
Dad smiles. “I’m excited about everything you just said. I think it’s a great plan.” He winks. “Manifest it, my love.” It’s another reference to Mom. That’s what she always said and did. And I’ll be damned, whenever Mom manifested something, it always came true.
“I’ll start right now.” I close my eyes dramatically, intending to model my amazing manifestation abilities, but the image that pops into my head, unbidden, is Max’s handsome face. Followed by his gorgeous body. His straining, hard cock. And then, the look of complete bewilderment—and then, anger—on his face when I did him so fucking dirty without explanation. Dear God, the man must think I’m insane.
I open my eyes with a sigh. “It’s too soon for manifestation, I’m afraid. I’m too messed up. I need to work on myself before I can be trusted with that particular superpower, or else I’m going to manifest the wrong thing for me.”
The announcer in the football game announces the final score, which means we’ve been talking throughout the entire second half of the game. Dad grabs the remote and turns off the TV and we hug goodnight.
“Thank you for talking this through with me,” I say. “I feel excited about the future for the first time in a long while.”
“So do I.”
I head to my bedroom and complete my nighttime routine. But despite all my big talk, I can’t stop thinking about Max. I hate knowing he hates me now. That I’ll never get to see him again. Never get to talk to him in the moonlight in his bed after enjoying another round of delicious sex. He’s not in the market for a serious relationship, but he would have been a thoroughly delightful way to pass the time for a while.