Total pages in book: 124
Estimated words: 116471 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 582(@200wpm)___ 466(@250wpm)___ 388(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 116471 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 582(@200wpm)___ 466(@250wpm)___ 388(@300wpm)
“You shouldn’t. She’s a good woman and soon the mother of your child.”
“What do I tell people? I always drink at functions, meetings, always. They’ll start to wonder why suddenly I don’t.”
Dad’s expression hardened. “You’ll be Underboss soon. You don’t need to justify your actions to anyone but me. And your wife. So don’t say anything. It’s not their fucking business. End of story. Maybe they’ll blame it on you becoming a father.”
I smiled. “The advantage of power.” I paused. “What about Dante?”
“Dante will certainly notice the difference, so when he asks, we’ll tell him.”
I blew out a breath. “I messed up once. Big time. He didn’t kill me, though he should have. And now I’ll disappoint him again.”
“He won’t be disappointed in you for giving up on alcohol, for making the responsible choice and taking back control. He might punish you if you keep drinking on the job and mess up, though.”
Dad had a point. I had been drunk in several dangerous situations in the past. It could have cost me and others their lives. Fuck. It had taken me way too long to ditch alcohol. I shivered, suddenly cold. Dad glanced my way. “You’ve got chills.”
Perspiration appeared on my forehead.
“I’ll be glad when this part is over,” I admitted.
“The physical withdrawal symptoms won’t be the hardest part. Your mind telling you to drink will be much harder to bear.”
I leaned my head back against the backrest. I wasn’t even sure when I’d crossed the line from occasional drinker to habitual drinker to alcoholic. What I knew with absolute certainty was that today marked the day I’d stop. For Emma.
After Samuel left the bed, I barely slept. Having seen how hard his nightmare had affected him and how the effects of it had lasted even after he’d woken up had shaken me too. The withdrawal would be emotionally draining, not just physically.
When I woke up after having fallen asleep eventually, Samuel’s side of the bed was still empty. I quickly got ready, then headed downstairs to find him. A small part of me was worried that he’d found a way to drink. When I found him on the sofa, asleep with his chin on his chest and covered with a cozy blanket, guilt overwhelmed me. I needed to trust Samuel. But I knew addiction was a tough opponent.
“He fell asleep thirty minutes ago,” Ines said, startling me in my wheelchair. She appeared beside me with a cup of coffee cradled in her palms. “He was exhausted. Pietro was with him all night.”
“That was so sweet of him. I should have been there for him as his wife.”
Ines touched my shoulder with a gentle smile. “I think it was important for Samuel and Pietro to talk and bond over this experience. And you need lots of sleep. You’re growing a human.”
The concept was still hard to grasp for me.
“Come on, let’s have breakfast. Samuel needs some more rest.”
Ines and I ate alone in the dining room. Pietro had to leave for work early despite his lack of sleep. I had a feeling Samuel would be annoyed that his father had left without him. But considering his pallor, it was for the best if he spent the day on the sofa.
I wasn’t sure if the worst withdrawal symptoms were already over. It was Christmas Eve in three days, and I hoped we’d overcome the worst by then.
Two hours later, my worries were confirmed. Samuel woke shivering and sweaty from another nightmare, and again, it took him several moments to realize he had been dreaming.
His eyes met mine, and he gave me a tight smile. I wheeled over to him and touched his thigh. “Maybe a bath will help.”
He nodded. “I definitely need to shower. Maybe a bath would be even better.” He pushed to his feet, then swayed slightly before he caught himself. His lips thinned, and a look of annoyance filled his eyes. Samuel, like many Made Men, hated any sign of weakness. “After a few more days, you’ll feel more like yourself again.”
He frowned. “Will I? I don’t even remember what it was like before I started drinking every day.”
“We’ll figure it out together.” Samuel leaned down and kissed the top of my head before he straightened once more.
He shivered. He looked as if he was going to be sick at any moment. He closed his eyes, squared his shoulders, then headed out. I followed him but stopped in the entry.
Watching Samuel like this filled me with pride and sadness. I hated seeing him suffering even though I knew it was necessary.
Ines came toward me and squeezed my shoulder as we watched Samuel drag himself upstairs for a shower. “He’s doing it for you and your child, not for himself.”
“I know. I hope he realizes that he’s worth it too.”