Total pages in book: 124
Estimated words: 116471 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 582(@200wpm)___ 466(@250wpm)___ 388(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 116471 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 582(@200wpm)___ 466(@250wpm)___ 388(@300wpm)
Still, I was reluctant to approach the subject of children with Emma. I didn’t want to rip open certain wounds, but I also despised relying on the tasteless rumors making the rounds to build my knowledge.
After dinner, I had gone to my office to check the documents our accountant had sent us for the dummy corporations we upheld to launder our drug money, but now I went in search of Emma to finally broach the subject with her. I found her in the living room, huddled into a corner of the sofa with a book. Emma looked up from her book, her brows pulling together as she scanned my face.
I gave her a tight smile and sank down on the sofa beside her. She watched me curiously. “Is something the matter?”
“As you know, we’re expected to have children,” I said carefully. I was tired of the subtle and not-so-subtle comments from friends, soldiers, and distant relatives—my parents rarely bugged me with this—regarding our nonexistent chances of having children. I wanted certainty.
She put her book aside and leaned back, pursing her lips. “You want to discuss it now?”
I couldn’t determine the emotion in her voice, but she was not happy about the topic. “I think we should do it sooner rather than later. You never mentioned if the accident caused any injuries that would affect us having children and whether we might need help becoming parents.”
She tilted her head, regarding me with a quiet intensity that almost made me squirm. “Of course, it’s always good to be prepared, but what makes you think we need help?”
The way she emphasized help made it clear she didn’t like my choice of words. To be honest, I had never researched the matter and didn’t know what exactly needed to be done in our case. “Emma,” I said firmly. Despite the short time we were married, I knew she didn’t like to be reduced to her wheelchair, but we needed to face the reality of the situation. I didn’t have any detailed knowledge about the extent of her injuries from the accident, and I didn’t trust Danilo or my mother-in-law to be honest with me. “You know what I’m talking about.”
“I do,” she said with a small sigh. “You think I’m infertile because I’m in a wheelchair like so many rumors are suggesting, which is another reason I was labeled damaged goods. You could have asked me instead of believing the rumors.”
Emma calling herself damaged goods made my blood boil. Nobody had dared to call her that in my presence, or they would have suffered a similar fate as the useless recruit.
She was right. My assumption was based solely on the information that had been making the rounds in our circles and that even my parents had shared, which neither Emma nor her parents had ever contradicted. “I assumed the injury to your spinal cord resulted in infertility issues.”
Fuck, I wasn’t a doctor, and like many men in our circles, I really didn’t like to think or talk about women’s issues.
“It can cause certain issues to keep a pregnancy or become pregnant at all, but in my case, it doesn’t. Of course, other issues having nothing to do with the accident might lead to the same infertility issues every woman might be affected by. I’m as fertile as a woman with working legs can be. I can get pregnant, and I can bear children, and my doctor assured me that I don’t have a higher risk of a miscarriage than any other woman does.”
“All right,” I said slowly, feeling relieved. “If that’s the case, then why didn’t you or your parents say something to dissuade the rumors?”
She smiled bitterly. “Because,” she said, “my fertility isn’t anyone’s business. You make it sound as if I should have defended myself. My value isn’t based on my reproductive organs, Samuel. I’m telling you now because you asked and because, as my husband, you deserve to know, but anyone else can just assume whatever they want.”
When she was angry like that, with her skin flushed and her hair a little messy from her agitation, she was even more gorgeous. She was always lovely, not just when she was angry, but then in particular.
“It would have killed the rumors.”
“People would have found new things to gossip about,” she said with a small shrug, but I could see that it bothered her.
“They always do,” I agreed. “I assume you want children?”
I had to admit I was relieved we wouldn’t have to use additional help. The idea of having to shoot my load into a little cup so doctors could get Emma pregnant just made me uncomfortable. It was ridiculous, but I simply wanted to get her pregnant the natural way.
Her expression softened. “I do.”
I nodded, glad we’d discussed the matter. “I never use protection, and we have sex a lot.” I couldn’t stop the smirk from appearing on my face.