Total pages in book: 114
Estimated words: 111165 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 556(@200wpm)___ 445(@250wpm)___ 371(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 111165 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 556(@200wpm)___ 445(@250wpm)___ 371(@300wpm)
“I just want you to know, in case you don’t,” I tell her, “that any guy that has a problem with you not kissing them or putting out isn’t worth it. Believe me. The right guy will understand. The right guy knows what he has in his hands.”
She doesn’t look convinced. “You just acted all shocked when I said I wasn’t physical with them.”
“Because, for a moment, I wrongly assumed you were like every other woman.”
“Seriously?”
I grin. “I know. I won’t make that mistake again.”
“Way to make me feel normal.”
“I’m joking, Bumble. We can joke with each other. That doesn’t change. None of that changes, okay?”
“You don’t think I’m…weird?”
I’m trying not to smile. God, she looks so fucking sweet right now. “You’re an odd duck, Marina. So am I. That’s why we work so well together. But for this? No. I don’t think you’re weird.” I reach out and tap my finger on the notepad. “Back to the rules.”
“You still want to do this?”
I give her a look.
“I’m still unsure about the rules,” she says.
“Look, I’m putting the ball in your court. Or my balls in your court, if you will.” She rolls her eyes. “You control the ride. I won’t touch you, I won’t do anything. If you want to touch me, kiss me…that’s up to you.”
That seems to make her feel better. In a way I wish it wouldn’t, but as long as she’s comfortable.
“Okay. Thank you.”
“So, when is our date?”
“You’re in charge of the first one. You decide.”
“It’s Sunday now, so how about Tuesday night? I’ll pick you up at seven.”
She gives me a shy smile and laughs. “I’m already nervous.”
“Don’t be nervous. It’s me. Except it won’t be me. My name will be Carl. Carl McNaughty.”
“It will not,” she says, gathering up all the crap on the table and putting it back in her bag.
“You have to pick a name too. Think on it.”
“It’ll be better than Carl McNaughty, I’ll tell you that much,” she says, getting to her feet and slinging her bag over her shoulder.
“You’re leaving already?”
She gives me an apologetic shrug. “I promised Barbara I’d help her with dinner tonight. Which means I’m making her dinner.”
“You’re an angel, you know that?”
She taps her fingers along her chin. “Maybe that will be my name.”
“It suits you.”
She starts toward the door and I quickly get up, opening it for her before she reaches it.
“See you Tuesday,” she says to me as she passes by.
I reach out and grab her arm, pulling her closer to me.
Her eyes widen. I lean in an inch. She smells amazing, like honey yet sweeter.
“You told me something about you just now that I didn’t know before,” I say, my voice low. “That took a lot of guts. I figure I should do the same with you.”
She stares at my lips for a moment before her eyes meet mine. “If you tell me you’re a virgin…” she says.
I smile. “I’m not a virgin. But I do consult a Magic 8 Ball when I have to make some major life decisions.”
She blinks at me, then lets out a short laugh. “What?”
“It’s true. The band’s name came from somewhere.”
“No!”
“Yes.”
“So…when it came to this whole dating thing, did it decide anything for you?”
“It said Better Not Tell You Now,” I tell her. “So, we’ll see.”
She shakes her head and steps out of the door. “I don’t believe you.”
“Believe it, Bumble,” I say with a wink.
She just smiles and walks down the hall.
CHAPTER FOUR
MARINA
“SWEETEST PERFECTION”
“Last night I dreamt I was in Manderley again,” I say in a dreamy voice.
“Pardon?” Susan asks.
I give my therapist an apologetic smile. “Sorry. It’s from a movie I watched the other night.”
“Yes, I know the film. Hitchcock’s Rebecca,” she says. Her eyes are kind as usual, but coaxing, wanting me to get back on track. “But we’re talking about your dream. You mentioned it at the beginning of the session.”
I take in a deep breath and relax against the chair, stealing a glimpse at Frodo, her Cavalier King Charles Spaniel that acts like the resident therapy pet. “It was nothing.”
“All dreams are something. You know this. Now, what do you remember about it?”
“It was one of those dreams where I remembered it so well upon waking but now I don’t remember it at all. Just the feeling.”
“Are you still writing in your dream journal?”
“No.” Honestly, I stopped doing that years ago.
“What was the feeling it gave you?”
“Hopelessness. Bleakness. Despair. I remember just this emptiness, a void where there was no light or color, and I think I was lost in it. I think I was looking for someone. Maybe my mother. Who knows?”
I shudder. Even though in the dream I knew I was in a dream, there was the fear that I wouldn’t be able to escape. Then when I woke up, the feeling never went away. I still haven’t escaped. It didn’t let me.