Total pages in book: 155
Estimated words: 154379 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 772(@200wpm)___ 618(@250wpm)___ 515(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 154379 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 772(@200wpm)___ 618(@250wpm)___ 515(@300wpm)
A different sort of fear scattered, and my gaze moved to my son who continued to dance in front of the window as he waited for me to take him out to play.
Grief gripped me at the thought of losing him.
At the thought of leaving him alone.
My grandmother was strong and fierce, but she couldn’t take care of him forever.
“But what if they did? What if they believed—” I choked it off, unable to say it.
Her brow scrunched. “I don’t think there’s a person in this world who would look at you and not recognize your pure heart.”
“But I was a coward.”
Her head barely shook. “No, you fought the way you had to. You had no other choice then, but I believe that you do now.”
The secret I’d carried for so long wobbled through my conscience. Hope trying to sprout through the barricade where I’d kept it hidden.
Hope always felt like such a dangerous, dangerous thing.
“What would you do if this was your home, Piper?” Her voice was hushed as she asked it.
Lulling me into a dream.
A dream I would give anything to be able to grip onto.
Wistful laughter rolled from me as I shut the dishwasher door.
Heaving out a sigh, I placed both hands on the counter, head shaking as my mind was washed with possibilities. My voice was thin and thready when I finally spoke. “I don’t know…get a job…find friends for Finn. Maybe some for myself.”
Visions of the sketches I’d allowed myself to look at the first night we’d come here hit me unbidden.
How that little girl’s dream had almost become a reality.
“Then how about you do exactly that for a little while?” She suggested it as if it were simple.
Disbelief had my attention swinging to her. “You know I can’t do that.”
“It’s time, Piper. Don’t you feel it? Don’t you think there’s a reason that we’re stuck here? I believe it’s because we’re supposed to be here. I think this is our place. Our safe haven.”
My chest squeezed. We didn’t get one of those.
Edging forward, Nelly set a gentle hand on my arm. “At least for a while, Piper. Give it a chance. I just have this feeling…”
A buzz of anticipation sparked in the deepest place inside me. A clash against the terror of what staying might mean. The fact that standing still only put a target on our backs.
She tightened her hand, and her words lowered in emphasis. “I’m not gettin’ any younger, and I’m tired. Tired of running. And I’m pretty sure I’m not half as tired as you. The burden you carry. You can’t keep on like this, Piper. You can’t keep on and expect to give you or your son the life you both deserve.”
“Nelly.” It was close to a plea.
A plea for her to see reason.
To understand what she was asking.
“I want to stay here, Pipes.” Her weathered voice cracked. “I want to wake up every morning and have a view of that lake and a view of your son’s smile, and I’m hoping to God that soon there will be a smile on your face, too.”
Uncertainty trembled through me. Violent, crashing waves that threatened to drag me to the depths.
Sympathy carved her features. “You can’t run from your demons forever, sweet girl, and this just might be the place to crush them.”
My mind tumbled back to the texts that Theo had sent. The promise he’d made that he was more trouble than anything I could bring to his door. That he wanted it.
To stand for me.
But we weren’t his responsibility.
Besides, that man was nothing but a broken heart waiting to happen.
I could see it written all over him.
“Can I think about it?” I asked, not sure how I was even agreeing to that.
“Well, of course.”
“Mommy, wook it. Kids!” Finn once again had his face smooshed to the glass as he giggled at the children who were romping out in the field.
Loneliness pulsed, that longing pushing in from the periphery where I normally never allowed it to invade.
“I see them, sweet boy.” It was a haggard breath, and moisture filled my eyes as I pulled my gaze from him.
It landed on Nelly whose expression had turned to encouragement. “I know you’re afraid, but it’s been years. Your son needs a home. And so do you.”
Sadness billowed. “Isn’t it going to hurt worse if I have to pack up and leave?”
Understanding filled her grayed, hazy gaze. “Maybe. But living is always worth the pain that comes with it. You just have to hang onto the belief that the joys are so much greater.”
The tattoo on the inside of my forearm burned beneath my sleeve.
In sorrow we must stand.
There had been no standing when the only thing I’d ever done was run.
My throat nearly closed off, and I stared at her as a tear slipped down my cheek. “I’m not sure how to do that.”