Total pages in book: 155
Estimated words: 154379 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 772(@200wpm)___ 618(@250wpm)___ 515(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 154379 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 772(@200wpm)___ 618(@250wpm)___ 515(@300wpm)
Hope filled her features, a mix of love and devotion and the fear that we’d shared for all these years. “You take a deep breath, and you step into it.”
A riot of doubt blazed through me.
Worry and dread.
The nightmares of what we’d faced and the nothingness that we’d been running toward.
When would it end?
Nelly was right. Someday it would have to. One way or another.
Nelly suddenly stepped back and let a wry grin slide to her face. “And maybe you should do a little living with that smokin’ hot man who I’m pretty sure would give a new meaning to lovin’ you up right.”
I choked over her suggestion. “Nelly.”
“What? Don’t tell me you haven’t thought about it. Every time that man gets within a hundred yards of you, that poor, neglected body of yours just about combusts.”
“It does not, and that is absolutely not going to happen, so don’t get any ideas.”
She knew what happened the last time I got complacent. When I took the chance because I so desperately wanted to live.
Take this time, Piper. Take this time and live it like it’s the only thing you’ve got.
There was no way I could let go like that. I couldn’t open myself in a way that would only leave me trampled in the end.
My mangled heart crushed more than it’d ever been.
Because I had a feeling giving myself to Theo Mallin would be the absolute death of me.
“Mommy! We go now?”
I turned toward Finn’s tinkling voice, my spirit ripping and tearing as I looked at my precious son.
My heart expanded and compressed. The weight of my love for him so great I thought it might obliterate me from the inside.
This one single gift that I’d been given amid the torment.
“Go on and do some of that living.” Nelly shooed me out of the kitchen. “I’ll finish up in here.”
I wavered before I threw my arms around my grandmother, hugging her tight and mumbling, “I love you so much, Nelly. I don’t know what I’d do without you,” under my breath before I turned and moved for my son.
“Die of loneliness,” she hollered from over her shoulder, chuckling as she grabbed a dishrag and started to wipe down the counters. “And I’m not about to let that happen on my watch.”
ELEVEN
PIPER
Fifteen minutes later, Finn and I stepped out the front door of the cabin.
He was dressed in his heavy coat and mittens and a cap, plus snow boots and a tiny ski bib that had miraculously shown up yesterday afternoon after I’d found out we were going to have to stay here for three weeks.
A note had been tacked to them, the handwriting decidedly masculine.
Thought you might need these.
The man took thoughtful to a new level.
As if he anticipated what we would need before we even knew it ourselves. I still had no idea what to make of him.
I nearly rolled my eyes at myself.
I’d do best not to try to decipher it.
“Burr, Mommy! Is co-wed.” Finn hunkered down, snuggling up close to my leg as we crossed the porch.
“Is it too cold to play outside?” I asked, praying my voice didn’t slant into hope considering I was going to freeze my ass off if I spent any amount of time out here.
“Not too co-wed!” He giggled it, shaking his head emphatically as he jumped down the single step of the porch and out onto the pathway.
Of course not. Not that I minded. I wanted to relish this. This time, for however long it lasted.
He ran a couple steps ahead of me, tottering down the walkway and veering to the right where the stone sidewalk led around to the play area that he’d seen out the front window.
I followed a few feet behind him, my smile soft as I watched him.
Then I stumbled a step when I saw who was coming in the opposite direction, chest squeezing in anxious anticipation.
Crap.
Theo.
Dressed in his normal black jeans, though instead of a leather coat, he wore a puffy black one, plus a black beanie on his head. A dark wraith striding up through the endless expanse of white.
“Hi, Feo!” Finn shouted it as he lifted a mittened hand and waved it over his head.
Without reserve, Finn began to trot faster that way.
While I felt like I’d stepped in glue.
The sight of Theo nothing but quicksand. A rushing of my spirit that gushed out in front of me. The part that wanted to crawl to him when the rest of me knew I needed to turn the other direction and run.
“Hey, there, Finn-Finn.” That deep, tolling voice rumbled through the peace.
A thunder that resonated through my being.
“You pway in the snow wif me?” Finn bounced his way, my innocent son unable to feel the threat that rolled off the man. The child unable to understand why we couldn’t trust anyone.