Total pages in book: 102
Estimated words: 100476 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 502(@200wpm)___ 402(@250wpm)___ 335(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 100476 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 502(@200wpm)___ 402(@250wpm)___ 335(@300wpm)
He pouts. “What about your brother? I know he’s gay.”
“That’s a surefire way to get murdered by a hot fireman.”
“Maybe that was my goal all along,” he teases. “Your dad? I’d totally do your dad in a second.”
“You’re such a creep,” I groan. “Go home.”
“Nope,” he says, swatting my thigh. “Not until big Daddy with the pierced dick shows up to save the day. Until then, I’m your babysitter. Lucky you. Wanna do some butt sex while we wait?”
Neither of us laughs.
“Fuck,” he grumbles. “I’m trying to be good, but that joke wasn’t funny. I know…after what happened…the last thing you want to think about is sex.”
I smack his arm. “Stop. Please be you. If you’re not you then I can’t be me and I really, really need to be me.”
He snuggles close, dropping his head in my lap. Because of what we went through and how we met in rehab, I feel like Loden understands my pain on some level. I’m thankful to have him living minutes away. I stroke my fingers through his messy black hair, enjoying the peacefulness his nearness brings. Both he and Roux are my emotional rocks. I need them more than ever during this time.
The door snicks open and then heavy footsteps thud into the cabin. My heart rate races with anticipation. Cal appears, his coat dusted in snow, green eyes lasered in on me.
“Hey, loser.”
“Hey,” I say back, smiling.
“Get off my woman, Lo,” Cal grunts, shedding his coat. “I don’t like when I can smell you on her. Makes me want to piss on her leg after.”
Loden snorts. “Fucking nasty fucker.” Loden lifts up, smacking me right on the lips with a sloppy kiss to piss off Cal, and then grabs his coat. “See you dirty bitches later. I’m going to go into town to see if I can get laid. I’m in the mood for a filthy cowboy. Got any of those here in Hood River?”
“This is Oregon, not Montana. Get the hell out of my house, asshole.”
Despite their crude words, they fist bump as Loden leaves. Cal’s good hand of course. His other hand is in an orange cast. He fucked it up pretty badly when beating up Ryan. When he finally let them look at it, he ended up having to have surgery right away. Dad says it’ll take a lot of therapy on his part to get it working like normal. He has pins in some of his fingers, but the comical part of it is that the way they did the cast, his thumb always sticks out. I know how much he loves that thumb.
Cal strides over to me and leans down to give me a kiss. He’s handsome as ever in his dress clothes and tie he has to wear to school. His earthy, pine and mountain scent saturates the air around him, bringing a sense of peace over me. I’m overwhelmed by how much I love him and need him. How much I want him. He’s gentle as he brushes a finger over the bandage on my neck. So far, according to Dad and the doctor, it’s healing nicely.
“Want me to run you a bath?” he asks, pulling away slightly.
Always pulling away.
Always gentle.
“I want to have sex,” I blurt out. Even as I say the words, I choke on a sob.
“Charlotte—”
“You don’t think I’m ready. Got it.” I shove my thumbs-up right in his face, blinking back bitter tears. “Great talk.”
His jaw clenches, fire blazing in his intense, green eyes. “You didn’t let me talk, woman.”
A tear of embarrassment races down my cheek. “So talk.”
“I was going to say I’m worried I’ll be too rough for you.” His gaze darkens. “It wasn’t a problem before, but what if now, you can’t handle it?”
His words make my blood run cold. I’m right back to that night. Screaming and fighting. Losing.
“Never mind,” I mutter.
He stands upright to his full height. “Want me to make you some dinner?”
“Nope.”
His eyes lock onto mine as he unties his tie. He pulls it away from his neck and pins me with a glare. “Since when do you give up, loser?”
I flip him the bird.
He unbuttons his shirt, a cruel, beautiful smirk on his face. “You have claws, Charlotte. Fucking use them. This bratty little girl stuff isn’t you. It’s weak. Face your fears like the fucking force you are.”
Tears burn my eyes, blurring him from me. “What if I freak out halfway through…” I stand up, shoving past him toward his room. “What if I can’t do it?”
His strong arm loops around my stomach, making me shriek in surprise. He pulls me against his chest, nuzzling my hair. “You can. But if for some reason you can’t, what are you going to do, Charlie girl?”
My heart thunders in my chest, panic swelling up inside me. I can get away from him. He has a broken hand. Cal doesn’t want to hurt me. Not like them.