Total pages in book: 108
Estimated words: 105301 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 527(@200wpm)___ 421(@250wpm)___ 351(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 105301 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 527(@200wpm)___ 421(@250wpm)___ 351(@300wpm)
I’ve never seen this side to him before. I don’t know what to do. I feel panicked as he holds me tighter still, crushing my wrists in his hands to my chest.
“I could never be him.”
“Nathan, you’re hurting me,” I say calmly, trying to diffuse the situation. There has never been a time like this in our relationship that I’ve felt scared of him, not since I found out about his life of abuse and he punched the wall beside my head. Was that a warning of things to come?
“And now, now you just throw me away so easily.” He releases my wrists, not wincing when I rub one and then the other to help relieve the ache. “Now you’ve found an untainted man who can cook, somebody you share passion with. Yet another perfect fucking heart throb for Gwen, just like Caleb was.”
“Stop,” I order, trying to escape the cage of his arms.
“You didn’t even hesitate!” He shouts and I hear the pain in his voice. “It’s clear now though. I’ll become the weekend dad, looking after your kids while you go and fuck my friend. Something tells me that was your plan all along.”
My hand whips around and with a loud crack it connects with his cheek. My palm tingles and aches with the force of it and Nathan staggers back a step with the force of his head turning.
We both hear a peculiar crunching sound with his step and both of us look down as he lifts his booted foot, revealing a bent and broken ring.
“Figures,” he laughs and bends to pick up the broken sign of our commitment. “If that’s not a sign then I don’t know what is. Maybe I can make it into a charm and you can put it on your necklace besides Caleb’s ring.”
“You’ve lost your mind,” I sob, rubbing my chest with the very hand I struck him with. He’s never been so cruel in all of the time that we’ve been together.
“Probably.” He pockets the damaged ring and stares at me in the eyes. I can’t tell what he’s thinking or feeling. The carefully guarded mask that he once used constantly is in place. I’m too angry to try and tear it off. “As promised, I’ll leave.”
“I think that’s best.”
“Daddy!” Dillan comes diving into the hallway and immediately latches onto his father’s leg. Emily toddles in shortly afterwards, covered in chalk. I manage to laugh a little at the state of her. I’m unsure how; I’ve never felt worse. “Emy pull ma hair.”
“Emily,” I chastise when Nathan doesn’t say anything. Upon looking up, I notice his swollen, sad yet still achingly beautiful eyes on me. “Just go, Nathan.”
“As you wish,” he hisses and when his breath hitches, my chest stabs with the most powerful ache. “I love you with every fibre of my being, Guinevere. Why can’t you just feel the same?”
He exits the house, leaving me winded and cold and none of it is because of the breeze.
“Daddy gone now?”
“He’s gone to work,” I lie and lift my boy into my arms.
“Yes,” he says cutely as his little hands stroke the back of my hair. “Daddy work with sparkly.”
“That’s right, baby.” My teeth find my trembling lower lip and pin it between them.
“Sparkly, shiny, wings and waces.”
“Shall we tidy the room?” I whisper and nuzzle my nose against his.
What am I going to do about work? How will I explain this to anybody?
The night passes slowly and I’m relieved when the children go to bed, though not so relieved when I notice Nathan hasn’t been in touch at all. I’m not sure why I’m expecting him to. I guess I just feel wronged and feel as though he should be grovelling a little. It’s messed up, I know that. The last thing I want to do is inflict pain on him but I need to follow my heart and head and both of those aren’t in this relationship right now. I can’t be with a liar. It hurts too much. Caleb damaged me for life.
Nathan’s words swim around my mind, echoing over and over again. Does he truly feel so little for me?
Does he really think I only wanted him out of obligation to the fact he nearly died and I was pregnant with his child?
Why has he never spoken to me about these worries? It’s unfair that he’s suddenly blaming me for all of this now without giving me any chance to defend myself. I love him, with all of my heart I love him. How can he not see that? He makes me happier than anyone. Even Caleb. Every moment with Nathan is full of such fiery passionate sparks. It’s just a shame he can’t get past his insecurities for long enough to realise that.
Gwen: Can you by any chance have the kids while I work tomorrow?