Total pages in book: 89
Estimated words: 87439 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 437(@200wpm)___ 350(@250wpm)___ 291(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87439 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 437(@200wpm)___ 350(@250wpm)___ 291(@300wpm)
“It hasn’t been that long.”
He snickers. “Dude, now I’m trying to lighten the mood.”
And really, I’m glad someone is trying because this shit is way too serious right now.
He takes a breath. “I know you probably don’t have those kinds of feelings for me, and I guess since you’re the first person who experienced what was happening to me—”
“Twice.”
He smiles again, and fuck, what it does to me knowing I can make him smile like that.
Why did I just think that…?
Wait, why is that thought surprising me when I keep having these kinds of thoughts?
“I’ve never felt this way about other guys, Lance. And I’ve pulled up images online, but it seems it’s just you who gets me going.”
I swear, it’s like the guy is trying to poke at my inner…whatever the hell is making me interested.
“And I don’t know what to do about it,” he concludes. “Sorry if I’m making this too weird.”
“You’re definitely doing that.”
He huffs, nodding, avoiding eye contact.
And…I can’t deny something’s happening for me too. “I guess this would be a good time to tell you that whatever’s going on with you, I…get what you mean.”
His gaze cuts right to me.
“And I don’t know what’s going on either, but even while you’ve been talking about this…” I indicate my crotch, and it catches his gaze.
“Oh…”
“Yeah…”
“What are we gonna do, Lance?”
That’s the million-dollar question.
“Right now, it’s all in our heads. We haven’t actually done anything with each other, so what if we tried and we didn’t even like it?”
“That’s true,” he says. “Like with this girl I met in San Antonio. I thought we’d have a great time, but then we kissed, and there just wasn’t any chemistry there.”
“Sure,” I say, once again fighting back that knee-jerk irritation at hearing about one of these girls he’s done stuff with.
“What if we try to mess around, see what happens, and then we’ll know for sure.”
I nod. This isn’t an erotic thing. It’s practical. We both have questions, and this is the surest way to get answers.
He licks his lips, and fuck, now I can’t take my eyes off his lips.
“Yeah,” he goes on. “Chances are we get a little grossed out and move on. But maybe it doesn’t mean anything about the two of us as much as that there could be something for guys, right?”
“Yeah,” I say, though I hate the thought that we might mess around and it won’t be as satisfying as I have a feeling it’d be. But am I really suggesting me and my Sigma Alpha rival mess around to sort this out?
I mean, it feels like the only right way to do it but also like I’m in way over my head.
“You free later?” he asks.
Oh, we’re on, aren’t we?
8
Ty
This is a mistake.
I shouldn’t have told Lance about my fantasy, but once we were alone together, I couldn’t keep this all in my head anymore. I had to tell someone. Anyone.
I definitely shouldn’t have encouraged us to meet at Sigma Alpha to mess around, and Lance shouldn’t have gone along with it. But before he left the meeting room, he said, “I have another class, and then I’ll meet you at Sigma Alpha.”
This has huge mistake written all over it. It could wind up being an epic fail that leaves both of us, or one of us, embarrassed as hell. Although, if there’s anyone I trust to experiment with, it’s the guy who kept secret what happened last spring.
I return to my frat house, telling myself I’ll get some work done on a group project I have in Ethics, Law, and Policy, but it turns into mindless scrolling on socials.
Nothing takes the edge off, though, so I start pacing my room like I would before a big exam. Biting my bottom lip, I check my phone for what must be the hundredth time. Lance’s class must’ve ended thirty minutes ago, but he hasn’t texted me to let me know he’s on his way.
Maybe now that he’s had time to think about what a stupid idea this is, he’s changed his mind. Can’t say I’d blame him, but my heart sinks at the thought of not exploring this, of being left wondering what the hell is going on. Just as bad would be having a guy I’ve considered a worthy adversary suddenly looking at me differently whenever we see each other at TaskFrat challenges or around school.
No, he wouldn’t do that to me.
I start texting him, then stop.
Fuck, if he’s looking at his phone, sees the ellipsis come up, he’ll know I stopped, so I go ahead and send the question that’s burning on my mind.
Still coming over?
I stare at the text feed, waiting for a response, when the ellipsis appears, indicating Lance is replying, giving me some relief that at least he’s still talking to me.