Series: Fever Falls Series by Riley Hart
Total pages in book: 96
Estimated words: 92704 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 464(@200wpm)___ 371(@250wpm)___ 309(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 92704 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 464(@200wpm)___ 371(@250wpm)___ 309(@300wpm)
Certainly, it couldn’t make up for it, but there was relief in hearing her speak the words—acknowledging what she’d done.
“I asked some of the girls at the restaurant, and one had this therapist she really liked, and I started going. I’m not sure if it’s because of the work we’ve done, or just that I finally sought help, but I started to notice how unhappy I am…have always been with guys like Jon. I wasn’t planning on walking out, but then when I mentioned I was seeing a therapist, he freaked out. He acted like it was the worst thing in the world I could have done, despite how it was making me feel. Suddenly, I realized that my happiness threatened him. That I could never be happy with him; he wouldn’t let me be. So I left.”
“Oh my God, Mom. I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”
“No, Carter. I’m sorry you were there too many times, so many times, when I should have done something different, when I should have said something. I guess it took the only man who really was important to me walking out for me to open my eyes. And I’m glad you weren’t there, because it made me reach out to others for support. To make new friends and find a support system here. I’ve been going to church with some friends and taking a spin class to meet people. It’s nice, actually.”
Therapy? Church? Spin class? They gave me reasons to hope that the change could be real. “I’m proud of you, Mom. But where are you staying?”
“With one of my coworkers from the restaurant. It worked out because she was already looking for a roommate, and I can afford the price. And now that I’m not having to support Jon, I even have some extra money.”
There was relief in knowing she was somewhere safe, and even more importantly, that she had people looking out for her while I wasn’t there. Despite how angry I had been at her, I still wanted what was best for her.
“I know it can’t mean much,” she continued. “Certainly we’ve lived this dance long enough to know that, but I think… Well, I’m working on it.”
“That’s more than enough, Mom.”
We continued chatting about changes she was making, her progress and hopes with therapy. Then she switched the subject to my life—my promotion and prompt self-demotion. And more importantly, everything I was sharing with Sawyer. The life we were creating together.
I could hear the ease in Mom’s tone as she asked more about him and our life. It seemed that, just as I had been concerned about her well-being, she had been concerned about mine.
“You boys need to come out for dinner,” she said. “My roommate has been dying to meet you.”
“We’d enjoy that. How about we figure something out when I call you again later this week?”
“I’d like that.”
“Okay. I’ll talk to you then.”
“Carter,” she added quickly. “I’m so sorry. I should have stood up for you. I shouldn’t have let Leonard call you that horrible word back then. Or any of those men say anything to you about who you are. I was supposed to protect you. I was supposed to put you above everything else, but…I got lost along the way.”
I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. “We all get lost sometimes, Mom.”
“Can you ever forgive me?” I could hear the desperation in her tone, but all I could be was honest.
“I’m not sure if I can,” I admitted. “There’s a lot there. Pain and hurt for a lot of years. We could sit on the phone all night talking about I’m-sorrys without putting a dent in there.” I reflected on Dax and Serena laughing together over dinner. “I hope one day…maybe it can get better. Even just a little. And that maybe I can get to forgiveness.”
“That’s good enough for me,” she said with a sniffle. “I love you, Carter.” She spoke quickly, as though afraid if she didn’t get it out, she might not have the chance.
“I love you too, Mom.”
I hung up.
“Carter?” I turned to see Sawyer standing in the doorway. “Everything okay?”
I pushed to my feet and approached him. “Feeling a little better.”
Hooking my arms around him, I pulled tight against him. He held me close, I guessed knowing that’s what I needed in the moment. Then I shared the details from my conversation.
When I was done, he said, “That’s really great to hear.”
“Yes, it was nice. One conversation can’t heal everything from our past. We can’t wish it all away, but it helps that she’s taking steps in the right direction. At least now I have hope that maybe she can get better. That maybe we can get better.”
He raised his hand to my face and ran his knuckles across my cheek. “Regardless of what happens, at least you have a super-supportive boyfriend who’ll be here for you.”