Total pages in book: 179
Estimated words: 170878 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 854(@200wpm)___ 684(@250wpm)___ 570(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 170878 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 854(@200wpm)___ 684(@250wpm)___ 570(@300wpm)
Tears were pouring from my eyes at that point. At the depth of pain in Beau’s voice, the single tear that trailed down his cheek.
“Beau,” I whispered.
“I need to get this out, baby.” He pressed his index finger to my lips.
“None of those things are excuses,” he continued. “There is no excuse for treating you badly, Hannah. I’m deeply sorry that my emotional bullshit hurt you. That I hurt you.”
There it was. An apology. Taking complete ownership for his bad behavior without a single excuse.
“I forgive you,” I immediately replied.
“No, you don’t.” He shook his head, wiping the tears from my cheeks. “It can’t be that easy. Shouldn’t be that easy. I should be groveling for the rest of my life.”
There it was—another permanent statement. Not just alluding to the rest of our lives but straight-up saying it.
After one night of sex.
That did contain an I love you, to be fair.
And I loved him. So recklessly, so painfully, in a way that scarred my insides and changed my very core.
But I couldn’t say it out loud. Not yet. I felt safe with Beau. Safe enough to let him take charge when I was physically naked.
I wasn’t quite ready to be emotionally naked with him yet. My bruises from his treatment of me those past few months still hurt, even with his heartfelt apology. I couldn’t entirely trust that he wasn’t going to hurt me again.
I couldn’t be certain that this was everything I could ever want. That he was. Clara was. There was no way I was going to expect it all to turn out well in the end.
That’s not how life worked.
Even though I wanted, more than anything, to tell him I loved him too, my mouth stayed shut.
Beau didn’t seem the least bit disappointed or angry at my silence. He didn’t even seem as if he expected me to say anything back.
He just pulled me back down, splayed on top of him, and kissed me.
“Go to sleep,” he murmured. “We’ve only got a couple more hours till our girl wakes up.”
My body froze.
Our girl.
Clara.
He said it offhandedly. Natural. As if it wasn’t just as powerful a statement, if not more than, the I love you.
Not to mention the offhand mention of him finding out his ex-wife was dead the same night we had sex for the first time.
How in the fresh hell could I go to sleep with so many emotional bombs obliterating my insides?
Pretty damn well, it seemed, since I was unconscious within minutes.
BEAU
Her breathing evened out and deepened quickly.
She was exhausted.
I’d worn her the fuck out. She’d met every one of my desires, every single one. Not every single one of my fantasies—because we were only human, and I’d been lusting after her for months.
I knew it might take a lifetime to act out every fantasy I had regarding Hannah Morgan.
Which was fine with me.
I thought it might take a lifetime and nothing less to get my fill of Hannah Morgan. I suspected I’d go to my grave wanting more of her.
It had thrown her, hearing me speak like that. In forever type terms, telling her how I felt about her. I knew because she was so expressive. And fuck, if I’d loved that when she was writhing under me, taking my cock. When my face was buried in her pussy. When I’d come all over her perfect tits.
My overworked cock came to life just thinking about it.
She wore her pleasure plain as day, and her pain too. It had haunted me all those months. Every night I went to bed, replaying the furrow in her brow, the downcast eyes, the flush in her cheeks, all created by my harsh words and dismissals.
I had to carry that.
Because I’d thought it was for her own good. For mine.
I still had doubts in dark corners of my mind that I was being selfish. Greedy. That I’d somehow fuck this up and hurt Hannah in ways that should be against nature. That I’d hurt Clara in the process.
But I quickly pushed those thoughts aside.
It was remarkably easy to do so with my arms around Hannah, her body pressed into mine, her hair just an inhale away.
This was not a mistake, bringing her into my bed, into our lives.
The mistake would be doing something to lose her.
twenty-four
HANNAH
“You’re in Daddy’s bed.”
I blinked open my eyes, instantly aware and instantly horrified that Clara was standing at the side of the bed, eye level with me.
Beau’s arm was draped over my torso. My luckily clothed torso. If you counted Beau’s tee and panties as clothed.
I was going to move. To do what, I didn’t know. We hadn’t exactly thought this through. Well, we’d thought of this too many times. At least I had. In my wildest fantasies. But that involved a lot of sexual acts, and no consideration for consequences that came from those acts.