Total pages in book: 179
Estimated words: 170878 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 854(@200wpm)___ 684(@250wpm)___ 570(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 170878 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 854(@200wpm)___ 684(@250wpm)___ 570(@300wpm)
“What an asshole,” I muttered.
She nodded in agreement, chewing slowly.
“Do you?” I asked gently. “Want to have an abortion?”
She instantly shook her head. “No. I mean, I considered it. And if you look at things logically, it is the smartest option. Especially since I’ll be an unwed mother.”
I choked out a laugh, thinking she was joking. But her face was grave.
“My family is religious,” she explained. “One of the many reasons I haven’t told them about this. It won’t go down well. And I haven’t had the best track record with men.”
I reached across the table for her hand. “I’m currently fighting to get divorced from an alcoholic, abusive asshole who stole my identity. And now I’m having sex dreams about my boss who is a complete asshole and emotionally unavailable—so you’re not alone in that.”
Her eyes widened in shock at my word vomit. Then she let out a giggle. As did I. Before long, we were both laughing with an edge of hysteria. It felt nice, though. Cleansing. Laughing instead of crying for once.
After we got a hold of ourselves, I asked her, “What are you going to do?”
She sighed then shrugged. “I’m going to finish my PhD and have this baby. I’ll figure it out.”
The confident way in which she said it had me admiring her. I could feel her fear, her anxiety over this, but I could also see the trust she had in herself that it would work out. That she could figure it out.
She pointed at me with a fry. “What are you going to do about Beau?”
I’d almost forgotten that I’d blurted about my crush on Beau not two minutes ago. It was only fair. She had told me a secret, trusting me. Plus, I desperately needed to get it out, and I’d spent all that time denying Cole, denying myself. It felt freeing.
“I’ll finish working for him, then I’ll leave. I’ll get my degree, fix my credit, restart my life.” I shrugged, as if it were going to be that simple.
“Selfishly, I wish you were staying here.” Lori gave me a small smile. “I love everyone here, but I’m the odd woman out. It would be nice to have you.”
My stomach pitched. “I wish I could stay too.”
For a second, I let myself believe I might be like Nora, Fiona, or Avery. That I might be someone who had found themselves a rare man. A good one. A happy ending.
But that thought was quickly squashed. Beau was a good father.
But he wasn’t a good man.
Not for me.
Never for me.
“A toast.” I held up my soda. “To terrible men giving us the strength to live extraordinary lives.”
Lori clinked her glass to mine. “I’ll toast to that, but I’m pretty sure Beau is not a terrible man.”
I pursed my lips.
That was what I was afraid of.
Lori was driving me home. She’d suggested driving because she was now the default sober driver and wanted to give me the opportunity to drink at dinner.
Though I enjoyed the night with Lori and the champagne with the other women, neither was going to be a regular occurrence for me. Even without the hangover, I was still haunted by the hold alcohol had over Waylon and my mother. I was still waiting for it to sink its talons into me and drag me down to their level.
That, and I didn’t need to repeat the situation of crawling on all fours in front of Beau, being so clouded by champagne I could’ve kissed him.
I didn’t need him to muddy the waters between us more by acting like he cared about me. And it was just plain unprofessional to be hungover while looking after Clara.
“Are you sure that there isn’t anything with you and Beau?” Lori asked during the drive. “Because that would be a pretty cute love story.”
I barked out a laugh. It was funny, describing Beau Shaw as cute and referring to our situation as a love story.
“I’m sure,” I told her. “I may be somewhat attracted to him, and maybe even like him, but we’re not suited.” It was the first time I’d admitted out loud that I liked him. It felt nice to say it to someone who understood how messy things could get. And it also made me extremely sad. Because we were not suited. Not in the ways that mattered.
Lori gave me a sideways glance, opening her mouth to say something. But then there was a crash, a crunch of metal, and not much else.
It was my first car crash.
I didn’t love it.
There was a lot of chaos. Flashing lights. Paramedics. Luckily, nothing dramatic like us being pulled out of the car. We weren’t speeding, nor was the person who ran the stop sign and crashed into us.
I had a minor cut on my head, which was being treated by paramedics. Lori seemed shaken but unharmed. I was worried more about her than me, since she was pregnant, so I’d been arguing with the paramedics to focus on her.