ISO – In Search Of – After Oscar Read Online Lucy Lennox

Categories Genre: Gay, GLBT, M-M Romance Tags Authors:
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Total pages in book: 107
Estimated words: 99583 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 498(@200wpm)___ 398(@250wpm)___ 332(@300wpm)
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“That’s not true, and you know it,” I admonished. “You haven’t met the right man, that’s all.”

It was true. Oscar was a hell of a catch, and it surprised me that none of the men he’d dated had snapped him up permanently… although, given Oscar’s past, I sometimes wondered if he purposely dated men he knew weren’t the right fit to save himself from pain when things didn’t work out. “You might try finding a guy you actually want to have a conversation with outside of sex. And ‘my yacht or yours’ is not a conversation. I’m talking actual, meaningful connection—”

“Yes, I understand the concept,” he said dryly. He paused for a long moment, and when he spoke again, he sounded uncharacteristically hesitant. “But if I were to make a connection like that… well, a man with my track record would have to be a fool to expect that it could ever be more than friendship, wouldn’t he? The risk-benefit analysis would practically guarantee heartbreak and disappointment for at least one of the parties involved if they let themselves hope for more.”

I frowned. For a moment, I wondered if he wasn’t speaking hypothetically and was actually thinking about someone special—but I quickly dismissed the notion. Oscar never hesitated to share or even overshare details about his love life. If there had been something to tell, he would have told me.

Instead, I prompted gently, “For all the men you’ve dated, have you ever really been in love, Oscar?”

“No,” he admitted, voice soft with melancholy. “But I did get really close. Once.”

“Ohhh, is that what you were getting at?” I grinned, finally understanding his mood. “Are we back to this?”

“Back to—?”

Every once in a while, when Oscar got lonely, he became nostalgic, wondering what our relationship might have looked like if our paths hadn’t diverged so wildly, even though both of us knew the answer. “You thinking of leaving New York and moving out to Wyoming permanently so you can join me on long cattle drives with no internet and spend your evenings listening to the crickets chirp on the porch? I hear the Feed and Seed just got their spring collection in. They’ve switched it up and added a new plaid to the mix.” He made a choking noise, and I chuckled. “Plus, PeeWee’s got the composter all tuned up. I’m sure he’d love to teach you how to turn some shit.”

Oscar audibly shuddered. “Horrifying. No, I don’t want any of that.”

“And you don’t really want me either,” I reminded him gently. “Not as anything more than a best friend. I don’t even know where the Maldives are, okay? And you… you’re a shining star the entire world deserves to know.”

He snorted. “Pfft. Obviously. Frank tells me so all the time.”

I smiled, thinking of his pet hedgehog. “If anyone would know, it would be Frank,” I agreed. “Keep putting your heart out there, and eventually, the right person will grab it and keep it safe for you.”

He barked out a laugh. “Jesus, listen to you. Since when are you mister romantic, Boone Hammond?”

I placed a hand on my chest, pretending to be offended. “Hey, I can be romantic if I want to. I just don’t get the opportunity all that often. If there was time left in my day, and by some miracle, the right man happened to land on my doorstep, I’d be plenty romantic. But seeing as how I live in the middle of fucking Wyoming and keep doing the work of several men at once, that ain’t happening anytime soon.”

Oscar clucked his tongue. “Always with the excuses.”

“Not excuses, just the truth. Besides, I have a standing nightly date with my hand and a bottle of that fancy lube you sent me. Once a month, I upgrade it to a visit into Casper for a bona fide human hookup.”

He made a derisive sound. “I can just imagine the kind of boys on offer in Casper, Wyoming. It’s gotta be the same damned cowboy each month.”

I thought of the three or four guys I usually rotated through. He wasn’t wrong, but I didn’t like how boring and staid he made it sound. Even if it was true—and honestly, it was—it wasn’t like there was anything I could do about it. Plus, it worked for me. I didn’t need the disruption and distraction of a relationship. I didn’t have the time for shit like that. “You’re forgetting that cowboys have muscles for days,” I teased. “And hand calluses that feel mighty fine on a man’s—”

“Stop,” he cried, sounding seriously wounded. “My manicure is curdling just hearing that word.”

I laughed. Oscar was such a colorful person, it made me happy just to talk to him for a few minutes. Unfortunately, a few minutes was all I had. “Listen, I have to go. I have a hundred head of cattle that need to be moved, and I’ve lost two hands this week.”



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