Total pages in book: 126
Estimated words: 121734 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 609(@200wpm)___ 487(@250wpm)___ 406(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 121734 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 609(@200wpm)___ 487(@250wpm)___ 406(@300wpm)
“Baby,” I said, brokenly. “I have no idea what to say or do. I’ve got no clue how to be here for you.”
She shook her head, holding on to my hand. “You don’t have to say anything. I’m not Zoey. My stuff is different. I was resigned to dying. I just didn’t see why I should keep going, but Zoey’s different. I think hers was an impulsive decision? I don’t know. That’s for Zoey and Skylar and whoever she ends up seeing as a professional to unpack. They’ll dive into that and help her. She will get help. Saying it is always the first step. And it’s terrifying.” She gazed at me. “It’s really terrifying.”
“You’re scared now?” I reached for her, my hand sliding along her jaw, cupping her face.
She blinked and nodded. “Yeah,” she said quietly. “I feel like a fraud.”
“What? Why?”
“Because maybe I shouldn’t be doing what I do considering—”
“Fuck that,” I growled. “In one sitting, my niece told you she’d tried to kill herself. In one fucking sitting, you got her to open up. You’ve helped me. What you said to me about the team, they meant everything. And you know as well as I do what you’ve done with the team—what you’ve done with countless teams. Stop that line of thinking. No one is perfect, Rain. Not one person. And it’s harder for women sometimes. I get that. I see it, but you and Skylar are the two strongest people I have ever met. Whatever you’re thinking about, whatever spiral you want to fall into, just stop it.” I leaned over, resting my forehead to hers and holding her face in my hands. “I need you here. I want you whole, and I’ll be with you every step of the way, to help in any way you need it. You hear me? I got you. The team has you. My sister will never let you go now. You’re not going anywhere, and all you need to do from now is do your job and take care of yourself. That’s it. The rest of us will have your back, okay?” I lifted my head but held her gaze.
Her eyes searched mine, and after a moment, they changed. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
She shrugged sheepishly. “You were here for me.” She smiled and reached for me. “For me, you being here, listening to me, letting me talk, seeing me, hearing me, that’s all I need. That’s all I needed. You see me.”
“I will always see you. I love you.”
“I love you too.” She glanced away for a second. “I’m going to find a professional to talk to, someone who specializes in the lost child role.”
“That’s the name?”
“Yeah. The lost child syndrome. Or the invisible child. For me, it was the same thing.” She nodded to herself, seeming determined. “It helped a lot to find out the name for what I was. It’s helped so much, even in a short amount of time, but I’m not going to lie. I am hard-wired to believe you don’t love me. I’ve been conditioned that you and everyone else will eventually leave, that you’ll suddenly realize I’m not worth it. Please be patient with me. I’m going to be fighting myself. And it’s…it’s going to be hard.”
“Rain.” I leaned in, finding her mouth. “I’m going to do so much research and studying and talking to your professional person,” I told her between kisses. “I’ll be able to take one look at you and know what you’re struggling with. That’s my goal. And you need to know that in the Griffin family, we’re one for all, like those Mouse people.”
“Mouse people?”
“The Mousksters. Those people.”
“The Musketeers?”
“Yeah. Those people. You’re the fourth one. Don’t tell Eric. Ski says he thinks he’s the fourth member of the family, now that he’s met me and you. I think your days of hiding are over. You’ve got too many people who’ll put out an APB if you try isolating yourself again.”
She grinned at me. She looked good.
She gave me another kiss and murmured, “We can go home, baby.”
I liked hearing her call me that. I liked it a whole lot, but a new type of worry sprang to life. I never would’ve thought she was the type to buy a gun and consider what she was going to do. Never. I’d met her and wanted her. She’d seemed good. Beautiful. She looked capable. Strong. Assertive. Now to find out she’d been wanting to die for years? I would’ve had no idea if she hadn’t said the words to me tonight. Not one inkling.
“You don’t think Zoey’s like…”
“Like what?” she asked.
“The way you were treated growing up—you think Zoey’s treated like that?”
“No!” She grasped my hand and shook her head fervently. “God, no. I don’t know why Zoey felt the way she did. It could be because something happened at school. Or she suffers from depression? I don’t know, but Zoey is not me. Zoey is loved. She’s seen. You switched NHL teams and moved across the country because your family needed you, because she needed you. Trust me. Zoey is not me.” She peered at me intently. “She will get the help she needs. I have all the faith. You and Skylar, you rallied around her. I really think she’s going to be okay.”