Total pages in book: 126
Estimated words: 121734 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 609(@200wpm)___ 487(@250wpm)___ 406(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 121734 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 609(@200wpm)___ 487(@250wpm)___ 406(@300wpm)
That was easier said than done, but I tried. “Thanks, Coach.”
“You need anything?” Tyler asked.
I shook my head and looked away, waiting until his attention returned to his phone. Then I wiped away a tear.
Did I need anything? I needed to disappear.
56
TYLER
Skylar was blowing up my phone, but I was worried about Rain.
She was pulling away. I could feel it. I’d felt it last night, too, and it was getting worse. If she could’ve disappeared inside herself, she would have. The flight attendant asked her three times if she wanted something to drink, and finally I answered for her. I don’t think Rain even noticed that interaction. Her eyes were flat, walled off. And when we landed and began to deplane, she moved like a robot. The guys noticed as well, shooting me confused and concerned looks.
Coach glanced at her a few times, but didn’t seem shocked. I wondered about that. Had he known about her relationship with her brothers? I felt like I was still learning, and the more details that came out, the more I was concerned. She had paled, but she’d been listening to the TikToker until the interviewer asked Daniel about her. She jumped in her seat at his words, and her eyes had started glazing over.
Dissociation. I didn’t know much about it, but Skylar had used the term a few times.
I think Rain had mentioned it as well. Was that what was happening here? I’d googled it on the plane and didn’t like the definition, a mental process of disconnecting from reality, or their feelings, thoughts. It was a coping mechanism for trauma.
I needed to learn as much about dissociation as possible.
My phone buzzed again.
I assumed it was Skylar. Her last texts had been about Rain. She had been anti-Rain until Zoey sent me that TikTok thing. Now her tune had changed.
The text was from Kashvi, though.
Kashvi: Martine reached out. She’s got the article ready. I’m sending you and Rain a copy so you can read over it.
Kashvi: document attached
Kashvi: I’m keeping abreast of what they’re saying about Rain on the hockey sites, and the news is traveling faster than I anticipated. It’s only a matter of time until speculation starts about you and her. Normally I’m not into outing a personal relationship, but you’re always a hot ticket for clickbait. All the old tapes are going to come out from high school. My advice is to bite the bullet and get ahead of it before Daniel gets more people to hate Rain. So far that’s what’s happening. The TikToker who made the first video has been approached by his people. They are pushing his narrative, and it’ll keep going the way they want.
Kashvi: Rain isn’t responding to anything. Are you with her? Can you talk to her about this?
My phone vibrated again.
Nolan: Dude. WTF is happening on your team? Is this true? Is Sister Connors working with you guys?
“Everyone,” Coach Hines called for our attention as we headed toward the locker room. “I know everyone is excited to get home, but Rain has asked for a chance to say something. If you all will sit and give her the floor? Thank you.” He inclined his head to her.
We went inside, and instead of grabbing our things and leaving, everyone stowed their bags or dropped them on the floor and got comfortable.
Rain stood to the side and looked down at the floor until it was dead silent.
My chest tightened. She looked like a little girl right now, and I ached at the thought of how Daniel had treated her growing up. She was gone. I could tell. Her mind was somewhere far away. I found myself praying she wasn’t going to resign then and there. And not just for her, but the team too. The guys cared about her. They could rally around her. I knew it. But she needed to stay. She’d made too many inroads with too many of the guys.
And I… Fuck.
I was in love with her.
I had to admit that. I was in love with her. It’d been growing for a while. That was the sensation last night that had made me uncomfortable, but damn. It was true. I loved her. Heaven help anyone who tried to hurt her. They’d have to go through me now.
She cleared her throat and lifted her head.
I tried not to wince at the sight of her face. Dissociation. That word again. I was staring at it in present tense. Her body was here. Her mind was working. She looked at us, but she wasn’t seeing us and even though she was about to speak, I knew she wasn’t with us anymore. I loathed my new understanding.
“I guess I’ll start with an apology,” she began. She looked around, making eye contact with each guy—or appearing to. “Some of you asked in the beginning if I was related to Daniel and Dane Connors. I lied by omission. I am related, but I was honest when I said I do not know them. I have no relationship with Keith, Daniel, or Dane Connors. I left that house when I turned eighteen, and until Dane’s game against you guys last week, I hadn’t seen any of them in person since. What Daniel said on the video is untrue. We are estranged, but it’s because of them. I kept my last name because of our mother, but that’s it. Keith Connors has never once wanted anything to do with me, and considering he decided that when I was six and my mother died, I have a hard time imagining that I did something to make him decide to turn his back on his only daughter. You all know my brothers. Daniel has always been an asshole. I’ve never done anything to him. I know what that video is saying and how it’s being spun, but I think the only thing I can say to you is that I’m sorry for not coming clean about my relationship with Daniel and Dane Connors from the beginning. I wanted it not to be a factor, not to be part of my life, but it seems that’s not going to be possible. And I’m sorry. If you can’t get over that, please let me know. You need to be able to trust what I say in order for me to continue to do my job.”